this is what it looks like to me.
a queer white picket fence
this is what I believe it to be.
the sun shown through the trees
and rays landed, thusly
on the particles that dusted
the front porch.
begging us to take a picture,
that would eventually
be given the title of "dad vibes."
and the cats are staring at us
through the domestic screens
on the windows, and I swear
that I heard one them gossiping...about
us.
you make vibrate.
it's like aorta telepathy.
something must be wrong
with me.
I swear,
I've never seen a more unlikely pair.
we have the same nickname,
I think that is SO ******* cute.
and yes, let us pillow talk about
road tripping, to see
van gough's bedroom.
and HERE,
I lie with you...
looking up at the ceiling.
surround by four walls of warmth.
canary yellow is something I've been obsessed with lately.
it's something I see in my dreams.
a colour that blesses my soul with the ability to imagine
something
as serious as serious as
a ***** balloon popping contest.
and
as hilarious as
the way, I look
when I'm pacing my way through
my to-do lists.
i know, that it is
spring break,
but a diet of coffee and
"ciggies"
may have contributed
to our lack of sleep
or
maybe
it's the four days we spend in bed.
then
when you asked me
to sit on your face,
i knew this to be true.
I'd never want to bid you adieu
if, at some point in my lifetime,
my soul could copulate with yours.
if I could beg you
to make more noise.
I'm sorry I'm so quite between
these sheets.
I notice these things
and FIND them to be true.
I left my boxer briefs in your dresser.
my ripe gift
is to be left
for a worthy soul like you.

this morning
I did not wake up in my own bed,
the last thing,
I remember
was the silhouette in the doorway
THEIR silhouette in the doorway.
and I know this is real.
yet I digress
I propose this is a dream,
consequently
in true half-awake fashion,
the silhouette slips away from me.
so I slip deeper into sleep.
this cycle isn't too kind, you see.
I find myself on repeat.
day dreaming of THEM
between THEIR sheets
for what could this mean?
I dreamt of times spent
dancing in rain.
drinking hot tea, watching droplets
plummet down glass pains.
rosie cheeks and fogged spectacles,
yet, they collectively,
look a bit skeptical.
the clouds seem to say,
who need NETFLIX AND CHILL,
when we could climb that tree?
when we could get sidetracked,
you and me.
side by side,
we find synchronized breathing.
will you help me,
decipher this hidden meaning?
here I find rays gleaming.
since when did YOU and I,
become we?
I'm not even sure that you fancy me.
this notion fills my head.
rays streaming
through the glass pains.
this afternoon, around about three.
I did not wake up in my own bed.
the last thing,
I remember
is that I thought this was a dream.

cotton candy kites clinging to an infinite sea of allusions
temperament changes are frequent forecast and gravity is the only thing standing between me melting like the wax on Icarus' wings.
i am standing too close to the sun.
a star.
a super nova.
how many more **** times am going to have to tell myself that i deserve better than the women i typically swear by?
i'm always eager to pick up the pieces someone left behind.
expunged memories caught in a loop.
feurdian repetition ,
as if it were a competition,
a race to figure who can lose their sanity first.
i do not believe that people who are "in love" are sane.
i do not believe people who aren't are either.
i am not bias
i just think everyone is a little bit crazy sometimes.
bet you thought this would all make sense by now?
that my imagery would make a reappearance and you'd be able to comprehend the vast intel my spoken heart has to offer.
well sorry to disappoint.
this poem is morphing into a rant.
i am not here to crowd please anymore than i am here to shove my pencil up your...
ear.
i have a hard time giving you my heart because it'd just look like i was handing a ******* hand spun cliche.
the women i have dated have their own gravitational pull
and i'd be lying if i told you i didn't believe a single one of them belonged in my galaxy forever, you see
for i am just a comet.
i get trapped for a while, spun around,
doomed to kiss the surface of anything that crosses my path

these words I know to be true.
we are but stars
shining quite different,
yet somehow the same.
where were you?
last night.
when I was calling your name.
and who am I to blame?
for this constant torture,
this particular pain.
my heart, does not follow
a transparent weather vein.
I know these notions to be true.
for this is my world,
and through me, you'll see,
a whole new shade of blue.
brighter than any sky,
yet still saddening,
still maddening.
I often refrain from recanting
my time with you.
each day praying, I'd become
someone new.
this queer life style
is the safest thing I could find.
and I sure hope you don't mind,
the fact that I bind.
you COULD certainly win me over
because YOU KNOW that I'm about
as lucky as a three leaf clover,
and about as melodramatic
as day-time television.
but then,
I guess it would be to assume
that I've grown quite fond of you.
and I don't know...
maybe you'll find this charming.
or  maybe not.
it's just a thought.
I'm just throwing this out there.
with these last few seconds,
to spare.
I bid you adieu with some confusion. if this lust is truly an allusion,
just like the colour of the sky.
I'd like to remain idle near by.
to see what might come of this.
how we might change and grow,
with this.
for I speak these words in truce.
let us forfeit our sanity together.
it might not be so bad to let myself be here,
to be present
with you
these words I know to be true.

these words I know to be true.
we are but stars
shining quite different,
yet somehow the same.
where were you?
last night.
when I was calling your name.
and who am I to blame?
for this constant torture,
this particular pain.
my heart, does not follow
a transparent weather vein.
I know these notions to be true.
for this is my world,
and through me, you'll see,
a whole new shade of blue.
brighter than any sky,
yet still saddening,
still maddening.
I often refrain from recanting
my time with you.
each day praying, I'd become
someone new.
this queer life style
is the safest thing I could find.
and I sure hope you don't mind,
the fact that I bind.
you COULD certainly win me over
because YOU KNOW that I'm about
as lucky as a three leaf clover,
and about as melodramatic
as day-time television.
but then,
I guess it would be to assume
that I've grown quite fond of you.
and I don't know...
maybe you'll find this charming.
or  maybe not.
it's just a thought.
I'm just throwing this out there.
with these last few seconds,
to spare.
I bid you adieu with some confusion. if this lust is truly an allusion,
just like the colour of the sky.
I'd like to remain idle near by.
to see what might come of this.
how we might change and grow,
with this.
for I speak these words in truce.
let us forfeit our sanity together.
it might not be so bad to let myself be here,
to be present
with you
these words I know to be true.

the heart is a optical allusion, a political eclipse.
love and scorn in lieu of guns and rapid fire.
wildflowers at seaside begging to breath saltwater into their fragile lungs.
my dead body lie awake on shore at wave break.
all that goes on around me are trinkets, of rustles from the restless sand.
to follow a lighthouse to shore is better said than treason.
butterflies strung up elastic bands with lips that beg to kiss the hallowed soul that dwells in shadows beyond the sea.
to clip their wings would hinder them from carrying my blood pumping, ***** loving, cliche hallmark card vessel back to the siren that tore my essence to shreds.
she nearly drove me mad so i abandoned my sanity in her trenches.
because in the darkest depths of that murky mess, a spec of light was shown.
delusions led by fluorescent aquamarine promises
and the tangled torture thus followed.
her tentacles had me under wraps, tethered to tectonic plates.
my aorta artery anchored to the floor.
my identity a submarine of cells submerged many leagues beneath the horizon.
her uncertainty loosens the shackles. my determination lifts my body to breach the lucid surface.
at wave break i am dead but also awake and my chest spreads open to soak in the rays that have broken the storm.

You broke me.

Grimy, slimy, pathetic lover.
You're sly as a snake,
coy as a cat, and just as cute.

My empty ribcage feels no pleasure,
Thanks to you.

Though I cannot say I am surprised because your comfort has always resulted in my utter demise.

I'm broken.

My heart has a mind of it's own
When it thinks of you the palpitations control my bones
For lack of better words my veins are smitten with the thought of your fingertips cascading down my arms
Effortlessly you infiltrated my mind
I'm not talking about the thought of you,
I'm talking about your undeniable essence
It's like an unforgettable scent
I can feel you when you're not here with me and that terrifies me
This is not a ballad about my gushy love affair
This is a poem about how I found love when I needed it most
I found love in the deepest corners of my mind the widest depths of my soul and on every inch of my body.
Inside and out, you make my skin crawl in a way that begs to be silenced by the reassurance of how magical your touch may be
For one effortless month my mind has been condoned to wonder what it would be like to hold you
What it would be like for you to whisper I love you in my ear
What it would be like for my eyes to beg you to kiss me
It's the tension that will eventually set us free
You are the love song in forefronts of my mind that never stops playing
You are hopeful wishes and butterfly kisses and 3 AM dancing in the rain
With you I want to commit all the cliches
I wouldn't mind getting arrested if we could share the same chains
I wanna feel your breath on my neck while we're driving in my jeep
And when my eyes get wide and we find ourselves barrelling down the interstate at 82 miles per hour
Put your hand on my thigh and squeeze accordingly
Tell me to ease off the gas
Say that there is no rush
This isn't a race
Tell me you love the way I hold the steering wheel
Then kiss me on the cheek
Leave no room for doubt
We can take this slow if you want to.
But baby I'm afraid I won't want to
My heart's predisposition to dive out of my chest headfirst into your hands has my stomach in a bind with butterflies.
Point is
I have no idea where this road map of life is gonna take us,
But I sure as hell need you to be my copilot.