You remind me of so much.
So many times,
memories.
They will never fade.
My heart has a spot.
That spot belongs to you.

I will never forget,
the first time we met.
Your eyes were blood shot red.
Your best friend was my pet.

You were so cute, and funny.
I secretly wanted you to be my honey.

Now we are so much more.
You drive me crazy,
but you will always be my baby.
My heart belongs to you.

I am so happy that when you walked through that door.
Your best friend introduced you as

JOHN HOLMES JUNIOR :)

We all start the same,
a ***** and a egg.
Then we are born.
Some are shaped and molded
made to perfection
never to be folded.
But some are like me,
we shape ourselves.
We hate those people,
who get put on shelves.
But deep down inside,
I wish I was molded.
Not folded and turned
I wish I was a trophy
to show on the shelves.

i found out about her in june
"he's been living with me for 3 weeks" she said
"he helps me take care of my son"
i kick over the trash can
its fetid and forgotten contents
now spread across our home

I'll wait until dark
to buy myself a bottle
please, night, come quickly

I woke in a haze
I noticed how strange you were
No more gin for me

That evening I tried
To act like I didn't mind
We watched a movie

BUT

I hardly know you
I can't be your ******* friend
I hate what happened

You surely recall,
Better than I, what we did
And that’s just not fair

Just leave me alone

It's five am
And I still remember
That night we stayed up
Asking each other questions
About shoe sizes
And those spaces in our hearts
And whether or not they were
Filled, empty or hurting

I can still remember all
Those times I hugged you
And I swear that even now
I've hugged you more than
Anyone else this year

It's five twenty
And I remember
Those hour long Skype calls
We would have even though
Both of us are silent
And never have much to say

I remember all those times
We'd argue about our opinions
And even though they were
So very different
Yours made me happy

And I can remember
All those times I felt sad
Yet you were able to make me
Feel so happy
Like all those hearts
You left in my mailbox

I remember that time
You tricked me into going home
With this panda bear
That will forever keep
Since you talked me into
Keeping him.

It's five twenty five
And I remember all those times
I looked forward to walking home
Cause you walked home with me
Even though it was cold

I remember
How I'd make you worry
And I'm very sorry for that
And I'm sorry that there were
Things I could never bring
Myself to tell you no matter
How hard I tried.
But I'm only so courageous
So I've always talked in
Questions and puzzles.

It's five thirty
And I remembered this
And so much more
And I will for a long time
Because you gave me so
So much to remember
You by.

I'll remember how you were
The first boy I ever let so
Close to my heart.
You were the first boy
I actually ever
Really let myself fall for
And no girl can ever
Forget that.

Especially a hopeless
Romantic
Like me.

Thank you for everything
You gave me to remember
You by.
I hope I at least gave you something
To remember me by

death is pretty with white funeral lilies .
death is expensive with the new black dresses and shiny mary - jane's .
death is quiet .....

unless you were there and you heard them cry out
hold me !
unless you sat beside them and listened to there hoarse breath and saw the blood they tried to hide
in a napkin ..
unless you saw then try to pay for their own funeral arrangements , and hospital bill ..
unless they asked you what they should get carved into stone and placed on top of their skull .

accuse me .
tell me i'm the one who let them go ..
who let them slip through my fingers , which are just as cold and as numb as the dead ..
tell me i'm the one who sat in the hospital for some extra cash ...

death is pretty with white funeral lilies .
death is expensive with the new black dresses and shiny mary - jane's .
death is quiet .....

where were you ...?