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Stale and soggy
Blue smoke twists
Stench so friendly
Mist rolls off fingertips
Inhale your secret
Exhale your solution
Self-medication comes cheap
So does body pollution
I give her my jacket knowing when she’s gone
It will still smell like her hugs

Putting my arm around her shoulders is more honest
Than when I raise my arm to the square

I don’t know where she is going in life
But I wouldn’t mind if it were the same place I was

The wind blows silently when she is speaking
Because even the flowers want to listen

If her smile were a disease, I would gladly infect myself
Especially if there were no vaccine

My chest is an air mattress when her head rests against it
I don’t mind when it deflates, brining her a little closer

Even in the winter I can smell fresh-cut grass
And it brings back memories I wish she were a part of

If I were made of mirror, when she looked at me
She might understand why I stare
look at me!
no. i mean it, look at me
how can you look right through me
like you don't even know me
i really wish you could see the damage your causing me
my minds unraveling into its self
its beginning to implode
i'm collapsing, my bodies fading
i no longer care about the words im saying
so just stay for one more day and ill find a way
to make everything okay
Close your eyes
So that you don't see a thing
Logic defies
And you're finally a prisoner
Bonded to death

That breeze through your hair
They way your knees go weak
You just want to stop and stare

Particles shatter
To show you the unknown
Nobody else matters
Now that you're a prisoner
Bonded to love

That smell of dried blood stains
Forever encumber your soul
Make you clutch your heart in pain

Take a breath
To remember the forgotten
Its undeniable
That now you're a prisoner
Bonded to life

That pain makes it all real
Inside your head
Inside your head
 Feb 2014 Eliza Sterling
A
Stuck
 Feb 2014 Eliza Sterling
A
I feel like I'm running in circles.
Never getting to my destination.
I pack my bags,
Pay for the ticket.
But end up at the same train station.

It's an ongoing battle.
That I see so many win.
So I gather my weapons,
Put on my armor.
But your end is where I begin.

I want to say it's easy.
But I don't know know that yet.
I try so very hard.
Just to start all over,
Well who woulden't be upset?

But I have to keep going.
I have to make it through.
So I'll keep running,
I'll keep fighting.
At least I'm trying, unlike you.
I know she hurt you.
She took all your love and then she left. And now, here I am, ready to pick up the pieces. Even when the pieces of myself are still untouched, still sting by the one who hurt me. I know about the nights you cry yourself to sleep, tell me it’ll pass soon. I know how it hurts. Because I’ve been there. I’ve hurt like you have. I want to hold you in the most innocent, yet intimate way. And let my endless love seep through me and into you, to dry your tears, steal your sadness. I want you to smile at me the way you smiled at her. I want you to feel my love. I want you to know of my love. But how can I say what it is that I feel, when you are the thunder before the storm and I am the puddle after? When I am not worthy of your sunshine? How then, can you love the girl, who cannot truly trust her own love?
 Feb 2014 Eliza Sterling
Thandiwe
I waited patiently for what could have been...though I realise,I have been living in a bubble....I knew this would end badly.
At the sight if the text you sent, I suddenly felt a ton of despair crash my thinking....as the dreaded words punctured my being.
Awoke feeling down, wondering if this is fair, fate or plain torture.
I move on...you vanish from my thoughts and your voice fades with the rains.
If reality was our friend then fate would be different, fact is reality is set.
Time is aligned with the paths of our lives and loudly renounce the show must go on.
I will wait in baited breath for my turn and trust God has not forgotten me.
If love is life, then I need it.
If memories exist as they say they do, in yours I would like to stay.
If my heart was a book, it would have lines of you in each chapter.
Sweep me away and carry me to paradise, paradise being your mind and all that is embedded in it.
I have no place in your life and should not demand it.
Love should speak and caution my heart against such things.
I'm disappointed, upset, hopeful....these days were already written and all this isn't new to my Maker.
I seek comfort in past losers and know that will certainly not help me.
So why do I keep going in circles...can I meet a rare human who will possess the mind of a gentleman.
I will keep threading bits and pieces of words spoken so loudly in my heart.
I will return to my corner and continue writing about the happenings of my soul.
Activity is rife in my mind and I will refrain from speaking of it,instead I will find comfort on pages that will speak sense to me.
Soothe the ache your decision has caused.......

Moving on....day two and I already feel better.
I will meet my other and this will be a faint re-collection.
I will continue smiling and laughing my heart out.
Since our paths end here, I will proceed to journey and explore unique terrains.
Don't hold me back, hoping I stick around...I have no energy to fight.
My head is reasoning yet my heart is crying.
It dawns on me I have not felt like this in a very loooong time...I am blank and I don't know what to do.
I am angry yet I am hoping you recover...come back to me and make this a reality like you said you would.
I still want you, love you...check your online status and see the green light next to your name...
How my heart would weep, weep that what could have been the happiest time of my life,
has now become a devastating blow to my guts.
Time to recover, pack up my picnic basket, balloons, warm kisses and hugs, love poems and happy parade... time go home.
Continue my routine and sink in work.
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