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Oct 2018 · 125
beautiful pt. 2
elizabeth Oct 2018
so you decide to choose the small waist, smooth cheeks, long hair and straighter teeth.
you decided to open your mind for her to teach you things i’ve been begging to teach you for months. you take time to take interest in her favourite things such as music, shows, colours, what she smells like. you notice her talents. you want to watch her grow. she’s the most beautiful girl in the world. you didn’t want to wait till it was too late.

but what about when you hear her sing? what if she learns your favourite song on guitar; taking hours out of her day to create something to do nothing but make you happy? are you going to envy her? not show her the attention she deserves or refuse to listen to her pour her heart out through song, just because you don’t acquire the same talents? will you tell her it wouldn’t be bad if she changed her image? will you flirt with her friends in front of her? what about push her around or mess with her head? will you manipulate her? throw her heart that she poured on the table to the floor? will you take advantage of her vulnerable body? will you trick her that you’re reaching for her heart when you spread her legs in the backseat of your car? will you absentmindedly tell her you will love her again just to leave her for the dark haired girl with fair skin and soft lips?

of course you wouldn’t do that to her.

                    you already did that to me.
a letter to the boy who convinced me pandora’s box was paradise.
Oct 2018 · 487
beautiful
elizabeth Oct 2018
it’s crazy what people deem “beautiful”. you leave your girl for one with darker hair to compliment her fair skin. you choose her because if her softer lips, clear skin, silkier hair, brighter eyes. that’s always what it is. you leave for what social media deems beautiful.
the beginning of the truth
Oct 2018 · 154
Untitled
elizabeth Oct 2018
thinking back even a year ago is weird.
i don’t even recognize the people i’m seeing.
you’ve changed
for the better? i don’t know.

i hope you’re happy.

i am.

no i’m not in a new relationship
              but i’m moved on.

however, for some ******* reason

                    you reside in the crooks
              of my thoughts sometimes.

you’ll come up in my mind out of
         nowhere.

but when i try to picture your face,
            i can’t see anything.

you’re just a blur to me now.
          
                 i can’t recognize you — the new
                                                                    you.

because it is definitely not who i met
              three years ago.
for my unknown lover
Jun 2018 · 152
2:28 am
elizabeth Jun 2018
you won.


you ******* *******.


you won my ******* home.
Jun 2018 · 149
Untitled
elizabeth Jun 2018
sometimes i still think about you.
i think about how happy you might be without me.
are you?
happy without me?
is she everything i wasn’t?
does it feel the same when she touches you?
or when she says your name?
does it feel the same lying next to her?
do you ever forget that she’s not me?
does she make you as happy as you said she did?
or did she slowly stop when she found out she won?
that she was able to take you away from me.
late night thoughts about the boy who doesn’t love me anymore. i’m not mad that he’s gone, i just hate that i lost my bestfriend in the process.
elizabeth Jun 2018
“please spend the rest of your
                     life with me”





                                     “i fully intend to.”
your answer to my question that i thought would last a lifetime
Jun 2018 · 196
3:47 am
elizabeth Jun 2018
i’ll never be able to wash it away.
your touch,
your kiss,
your hug,
your false love
and pretentious lies.

i’ll forever have you in the corner of my mind.
you’ll stay there,
reminding me how someone can stop loving you.
how someone can watch you cry
and lie awake in pain.
how someone can play with your heart
and not worry about the consequences.

you swore to high heavens that i was the one,
“you are the love of my life”

as you leave me

for her.
Jun 2018 · 172
reality
elizabeth Jun 2018
What's reality?

That you and I will never happen.
The most we will be
is solemn glances from a mug
with luke-warm coffee sitting in the bottom of it.
Jun 2018 · 360
one day
elizabeth Jun 2018
one day you’ll know.

one day you’ll know what it’s like to love.
one day you’ll know how i loved you.
how happy it made me to see your smile,
or to hear your laugh,
or watch you dance off beat to music.

one day you’ll know what it’s like to fall in love.
how easily someone can light up your world.
with the touch of a hand,
or the tired kisses,
and the warming hugs you never want to let go of.
how it’s different than loving.
how you will be willing to do anything for that person.
and how you’re their whole world.

one day you’ll know what heart break feels like.
one day you’ll know how it feels to pour out your soul.
you’ll know how it feels to rip yourself apart,
to fall to your knees and beg.
to cry for days on end, with no sleep, no food.

you’ll know how it feels,
to look into the eyes of the one you love the most,
and watch them leave.

one day you’ll know how it feels to not be good enough.
one day you’ll know how it feels to lose the one you’ve loved for so long.
one day you’ll know how it feels to watch that person stop loving you,
and you’ll fall apart.

you’ll try everything you can to get them back.
but you won’t.
it will be too late.
one day you’ll have to live with the fact that you let them get away.
“the one that got away”.

one day, i’ll heal.
one day i’ll stop crying.
one day i’ll know how to love myself again.
one day i’ll find someone worth fighting for.
one day i won’t have to beg for him to be with me.
i won’t have to search for happiness in the places i lost it.
i’ll laugh, sing, and dance.

one day, i’ll fall in love again.

— The End —