You've seen my face
but not my scars

You've seen my smile
but not my tear filled eyes

You've seen my best
but you haven't witnessed my worst

So, don't you dare judge me
by what your eyes see

Look inside my heart
that's where it is
beat after beat
coping with
the judgement
but hey
I'm still breathing

Even though you lied to keep me
I still love you dearly
Should have moved on
Just have let go
But who am I kidding?
I love you so
No jokin'
I can't escape it
The past
Brings me
Back
To
**Us

I always wake up
With a smile on my face
But as soon as the night is here
My smile fades and disappears

4 am is when I'm crying
Barely even functioning
Wishing you would need me
Wishing you'd see
How much I need
Your love over me

How many times do I have to say this?
How many times do you need to hear it?
I don't know why you never gave it a chance
I could have been your last romance
We could have it all
But you cheated me
And I took the fall
Blamed myself for your departure
But in reality, it was her
Her fault for ruining our love
Ruining our joined hearts
Destroying what we had
And now I'm falling asleep
With tears on my pillow
And your voice in my head

4 am is when I'm overthinking
Wondering if you miss me
Like I miss you
If she loves you
Like I used to
Like I still do

Does she adore you
Like I did?
Would she be committed
Like I was and used to be?
Would she give her all
Just to make you smile?

Still got that engagement ring
I'd never trade it for anything
It's a part of my memories
Reminding me of what we used to be
Reminding me that yours, I always will be
Maybe one day you'll see
That you belong with me

i want to live in a city
          where street lights are a constant
     sound echos when people sleep
                   but for all the unfortunate souls
the insomniacs
            they're up and moving
     brains ticking over
                                           but it's not so bad
         there's the echo of the city
                 and the constant light
                                           maybe there are others
                    i'm not alone in
     insomniac city

                                            i am in the country
                       the crickets sleep
                                  clouds cover the moon
                                             it's too dark and quiet
                           my mind ticks over more
              i wish
              i lived in
              insomniac city

i just can't get over
that night by the lake
do i even have to say
which one i mean?

it was so cold, so, so cold
and we didn't say a word
but i could feel every part of you
against every last part of me

months later
i carved us into
the wood

*heaven was here.