Stormy weather is God's way of saying we could have done better
Or tried harder
The sound of breathing is just the rhythm
Undoing all the potential I used to have
I hide under my covers hoping that my fears
Are as afraid of the dark as I am
My smile is just the curve of the lies I tell myself
“Everything is going to be okay, one day.”
I might be sleeping two hours a day
And that’s a long time
To be with someone you don’t like and doesn’t like you back
Or maybe it’s because I’m scared of what my self-concise might tell me
In my dreams
The alarm clock that illuminates my room reminds me
I’m not on time for being myself.
I missed being who I wanted to be
A few years ago
And I haven’t caught up
It reminds me of how far I have to go and how little time I have left
Sometimes I have to let a tear fall, to remind myself
I’m alive
Every day I memorize my name
So it wouldn’t sound weird as I talk to myself in the mirror
I want my name to sound like something I can be proud of
We are our own heroes and until we realize our strength
We’ll bend at the knee to heed the directions of people
who know us less than we know ourselves
It seems impossible because when I cry I have to no idea why
When I laugh I don’t understand that
I’m the joke
Like a clown without makeup
Like the girl sitting in the back of class: self-conscious about her bad hair day
I love the mess because it’s how I really feel and at least
She’s brave enough to embrace it and face it.
I simply hide behind my shower curtain of indulgence and cowardice
Unfortunately, I’m not very fast and my problems are catching up
I’m throwing up my hands in shackles
Limiting my ability to wipe my tears
After 23 years I understand we’re all kids in adult clothing
Trying to fill our baggy pants with our own pride and big egos
We have neck ties of lies we tell others to fell a little bigger
Stripped down to loose shorts we con show the tattoos of humility
We weren’t ready to show
And unable to let go
Make it through the night and look outside
The sunrise is simply God’s interpretation of what our dreams may have looked like
He does it because we can’t remember the details

I left my soul in a hospital room. I left her swaying to the rhythm of a failing heart, of a flat line, of sloppy “I’m sorry”s, and final goodbyes. I left her. I left my soul in a hurricane. I left her singing with the rhythm of the wind. I left her drowning, swimming, sinking, grasping, clinging. I left her empty with shattered windows, boarded up, and breaking down. I left her. I left my soul somewhere between "I meant it" and "I'm sorry." I was just wondering if you could return her soon.

Tonights stars look like bubbles
In a glass of champaign,
Like the world got drunk
On all the dreams we didn't chase

forget the drugs. yeah, they’re going
around and yeah, they’re pretty
dangerous, but they don’t take as many
lives. stop searching kids’
lockers and start looking for the deeper
stuff, the things that leave heavier
inflictions. yeah, i
know it’s nearly one
hundred degrees outside, and
there’s girls in here wearing
long sleeved sweaters. they’re
hiding something more
sinister, something
that can’t be measured in
kilos.