it's barely summer
but i've forgotten
how to breathe;
i fall in love
with strangers
before they even speak.

entangled within
the pulsating crowd
like a fly trapped in a spider's web;
questions are spun
all around.
inferiority screams in my ear
& consumes all thoughts
until i can't hear
all the questions that are caught
between threads of my insecurities,
weaving around
& around
the fabric of my being -
tightening its grip
with everyone seeing
me choking.

it's barely summer
but i can feel
winter's chill:
each pump of my left ventricle,
an exertion against will,
leaves me *******
& frozen, still -
but feeling like i could run
before you could catch me.
i watch the moon
trade places with the sun,
racing against time,
but my day
has still not yet begun.

When I am dead, my dearest,
Sing no sad songs for me
Place no flowers where I lay
Sit in the shade of the cypress tree
And rest your cheek on the grass,
that grows above me
Shed just one tear
Always remember,
Never regret

I shall not see shadows,
I shall not feel pain
I shall not hear the nightingale
Sing the song of rain
Wandering through the twilight
The sun does feign
Nor does is rise, or set, it just remains
Growing further with every step gained
Until a single tear drop falls from the sky
Flooding the valley with oceans of hope
For that one day a springs tide
Will make this our last goodbye

I had found myself before you
My hand found your cheek-
Soft skin blushing red
You draw my attention as I draw the smoke from my cigarette
And your about just as good for me as it is-
Toxicity in every inhale

Yet I stumble to you
Backwards
Always backwards from where I've grown to
Back to the hues of your eyes
Now a stare that I stress to avoid

I won't stop to look back
I won't pretend it is not what it is for times sake

I won't humor you
I won't humor your distaste!
I am not a person of connivence
A person of mere indulgence when there is nothing left to the amusement  

I can't be here when those soft hues finally open to see the decisions you've made

There can be no caring saved
There will be nothing left for you after you've pulled every string


(C) Tiffanie Doro

Sold my soul to none
Told my tale to some
Held my secrets to tame
The flame that was madly
Insane.

Felt the horror and pain
Melt to whatever brought heart
Smelt the desire of depart
With every tick of the clock in your
Time.

Read the letter of lime
Lead me to the end of the line
Said you'd be mine
For no longer than I've been
Yours.