These are all just bad beginnings
in my search for a show-stopper,
a jaw-dropper,
trying to be just the right balance
of sarcastic and lovely,
the right balance of writer
that I idealize and am not,
of course,
what am I, a narcissist?

I'm trying to put into words
the feelings I told you I danced
because they are wordless (spaceful)
and because of you
I have to say them with voice;
what a dilemma is this--

That when I tell you with movement
what I can't say
you put me in the place
of having to voice it and now
I have no words
other than bad beginnings.

So is that it?
When I word to you
instead of dance for you (for me?)
what you have to return is a nothing,
a less-than-nothing saying,
saying nothing, leaving me

hurt and confused because
maybe there was a something
in all your nothing that I can't find--
because we are dealing in words now,
and I'm a movement reader.

And I know I will forgive you for this
but I won't forgive me for knowing that.

Even while I'm still so angry, it just reveals
my pathetic (patient?) desperation for your love,

But I didn't say this right.
I need to move (dance) this.

they're not nightmares
anymore
and i should think that would make a difference
but it doesn't
my dreams are a plague
infecting every part of me
every vessel, every *****
every nerve and every cell
every night
                            a Wonka riverboat ride down the rabbit hole into Madness
                                                         ­                                 and mixed metaphors
                                                       ­                   a kaleidoscopic psychic calliope
                                                        ­                              of psychedelic psychosis
i remember when dreams used to comfort
bring relief and restitution
or delightful reminiscence
or strange beauty
but my dreams are now a plague
they exhaust me
all vivid surreal visions
          of mundane interactions
                                                    ­with a world I do not recognize
                                                       ­  that feels uncomfortably
                                                   ­                intimately
                                                      ­              Familiar
waking in those peaceful hours of pre- and post-dawn
that peace is lost on me
lying there, almost paralyzed
i do not remember my dreams
so much as i
Recover from them

There's more to this,
This thing we call living.
Everyone's all about the take,
What happened to the giving?

We take what we can
And still we want for more.
Receive one or two of something
While wanting three or four

There's gotta be another way,
A way to be grateful.
But when we don't get what we want
Everyone acts so hateful

There's a feeling of being owned,
Before we've done anything
A song that needs to be sung
That we can't even sing

Lyrics to write down
To give our thanks and praise.
But instead we wallow,
Depressed for days and days.

*This might just sound like
A difficult way to live,
But wouldn't be great to take what we take
And give all we have to give.

Goodbye  wasps
Goodbye  bees
Goodbye  pollen from the trees
Goodb­ye  midges
Goodbye  flies
Goodbye  scorching cloudless skies
Good­bye  seagulls
Goodbye  ants
Goodbye  sunbathers in tiny pants
Goodbye  sunburn
Goodbye  oiled skin
Goodbye  iced drinks laced with gin
Goodbye  tourists
Goodbye  throngs
Goodbye  men wearing sarongs
Goodbye  hosepipe
Goodbye  lawn  mower
Welcome  to the no­isy leaf blower
Hello  Autumn
Hello  cool bright day
Hello  rolli­ng around in the hay
Hello  harvest
Hello  fruits
Hello  hiking in hiking boots
He­llo  warm colours
Hello  warm hearts
Good riddance Summer
Autumn starts