I still daydream
especially on those days
like the time we first met after almost two years
like the time we spent sharing what we feel
like the time we spent competing and arguing
like the those times we spent together

And it haunts me
everytime when I think about
all the plans that we didn't do
all the promises I wasn't able to keep
all the hugs and kisses I didn't give
all the things I wasn't able to do, for you

I dream of them
And some of them gave me nightmares
It is painful
So much
That I'm craving for it
Either those things to happen again
Or
For this pain to get worse and worse
Until there is really nothing left of me

I'm used to people leaving
And Im so dependent with the home that I ruined
When the reality is ...

At the end of the day, I'm alone
Just
Me

They are leaving me but the truth is
I'm pushing them to do that
Because
In reality, I am alone

I am alone yet living in this great home

I appreciate the home which I can stay and will wait for me

But I messed it too much

I left stains that you can't get rid of
I left cracks that you can't fix
I left broken furnitures that you can't mend
I left it



I left it



I'm a coward for not taking responsibility but
It's not my home anymore
Someone is much worthy to be there
Not me
And it should have never been me
And it will never be me again


And now,
I'm alone
Just walking to different towns
A lone traveler
Who left her precious home

Just going with the flow
Just letting this waves bring me
Where it wants to bring me
Since I can't swim and
I can't control where it goes

But when I get to an island
Where I discover things
Someday, I can bring myself
To the vastness of the ocean
Not just going with the flow
But using my oars to be somewhere where I wanted to be


I know what to do
But for now,
I'll let the world take a hold of me