I miss you not romantically but I miss your company, I miss the friendship that was created from days spent laughing, smiling, crying. Things have changed I know, the fragile vase that was our relationship broke but that doesn't mean the companionship went away maybe just astray? The fact that no matter how much I tell my self I hate you will never be true because I could never hate you because the more and more I think about it all you're the one person who believed in me from the get go. I do love you but I'm not in love with you, I do care for you but I would never want you back. You see we are the moon and the sun... Forever I will try and chase the light you illuminate forever I will shine because of the principles of life you taught me. Forever My life will be changed from the months spent learning how to love, how to let someone care about me, how to bring joy and be loved. My hope for you and me is that one day we can live in sweet harmony not feel liable to check up on one another but actually want to care for one another. I only hope the best for you. A life full of love and happiness. A boy who will love you with all his heart.

I destroyed the very sanctity of what I perceived as holy. I took the veil that you gave me and tore it. I cursed your name since the day you breathed life and love into me. Even when I let you in for the little time that I did I cursed you.... Why... Because pain and sorrow do not cause happiness because the life that was given to me was not ideal for a boy like me. A child too afraid to speak is mind is nothing. A baby bird without his mother can never learn to fly I never learned to fly.

A lion without a father can never learn to fight. You gave me every opportunity to fail but I'm still here. I haven't given up on the plans I have for my life. I'm still trying to get it right. But I love you. that will never go away. The lessons that you taught me. The fears that you brought me. The lies that you told me. All to protect me confuses me and scares me but I know that you love me. I know that love is real and true and yet I might not understand it I choose to trust in you. I choose to get on me knees and pray. I choose a life full of self sacrifice and love just to bring you praise. Before i lay my head to sleep I beg you to reconcile this. To help be move away from this hell I dug.

Demon.
Eyes black as night, they will pierce you as you walk by, gazing into your soul your pure light soul she will turn it to dust even coal. Black. *****. And black. But I love her, I love the way her evilness takes over me. Turning me into a demonic Slave of sorts. She is an immortal being of the highest class, a deity afraid of no mortal man. She is desirable, she is lovely, she is free to do as she pleases. For ever she will be my dark queen, and I will forever dwell as her, dead corpse of a body. Admiring her from a distance, decomposing.

So memories rushing back to me as fast as the white Rapids pushing down a stream, the fill my head make me re think all my past mistakes, if you ask me if your name pops up on that list the answer would be yes, yes, with out a doubt yes, you destroyed my very out look on life, made me cold to touch, cold to hold, too cold to feel the warmth of love. You took a boy who was healing and healed him, but when you left all the wounds came back 7 fold, just like Jesus said but the complete opposite. Maybe I worship a deity of the highest mortality, maybe I worship a ghost that could never love me again, maybe just maybe I couldn't see myself living beyond the very reach of your arms, but now there 6ft down and I can't reach them, I still stop by every once in a while we're you're laid to rest, sometimes I bring flowers to your eternal bed, most of the time I just lay there and cry wishing, hoping, praying you can hear me. For now these memories will haunt me, **** me for eternity.

Statues are crumbling, my stomach is rumbling trying to tell me to eat something, because you see I haven't been able to eat, or sleep since you left me. Since God took you away from me. Or some Deity. What kind of God would separate a boy from a girl, what kind of God would destroy the kind of love I had for her. The love isn't gone either it's just lost in a fog of memories half unread. Like the way she looked at me and smiled when I saw her. GOD WHY DID YOU TAKE HER. I know im a better man but you can't just stray from the plans. I hate you. But I love you. taking her saved me. Brought me from the dead. Opened my eyes to new light. It's a shame she's gone. But she lives in me. Everyday I'll live for not one but two. So thank you.

I feel sick, sick to my stomach. That love was a fake wasn't it? Maybe it was and maybe just maybe it was real. But for the time being you're a ghost to me. A never ending haunting of what I used to be. I used to be happy and in love now they are fading memories forever clouded by a black sunrise of guilt and shame. It was all my fault, it was my fault you won't talk to me but all my friends say im innocent but im a self made convict. For now I'll lay in my bed again and again thinking of all the good times we had.

Im out of words to say
The raw emotion I've put into words
Have ceased to come out of my mind
I no longer have anything of value to say to you. I no longer wish you were here next to me. I no longer long for your touch upon my skin. The statue is finally starting to feel life medusas gaze has touched another broken hearted boy.

My cocoon has broken and I am spreading my wings flying as high as they will allow me. Soaring against the roaring winds breaking bad again. Life feels so good but soon one day I'll fall in love again and the grey skies will creep back up. Happiness always comes with a price. What will you give up? What will be taken away? Keep the TV on and stay tuned.