I destroyed the very sanctity of what I perceived as holy. I took the veil that you gave me and tore it. I cursed your name since the day you breathed life and love into me. Even when I let you in for the little time that I did I cursed you.... Why... Because pain and sorrow do not cause happiness because the life that was given to me was not ideal for a boy like me. A child too afraid to speak is mind is nothing. A baby bird without his mother can never learn to fly I never learned to fly.

A lion without a father can never learn to fight. You gave me every opportunity to fail but I'm still here. I haven't given up on the plans I have for my life. I'm still trying to get it right. But I love you. that will never go away. The lessons that you taught me. The fears that you brought me. The lies that you told me. All to protect me confuses me and scares me but I know that you love me. I know that love is real and true and yet I might not understand it I choose to trust in you. I choose to get on me knees and pray. I choose a life full of self sacrifice and love just to bring you praise. Before i lay my head to sleep I beg you to reconcile this. To help be move away from this hell I dug.