I've been trying to make a better man out of me, writing these songs in my head to put me to sleep. They say a darkness grows inside man when he can't find his way, there's no light light at the end of the tunnel, im scared im going to stray. Don't forget about me these eyes or my smile I hope im etched inside your head for at least a little while. There is a reason for my suffering one day it will be alright. I promise that I'll be a better man by the end of the night! I SWEAR TO GOD IM TRYING, TO FIND MY WAY! DONT YOU ******* DARE TELL ME YOUR SORRY. You don't care anyway..... So I'll sing another song about good times and a few about the bad. I'll start to fade away in the background.

Do you still care or does the thoughts that go on inside your head tell a different tale from the one you tell me in bed. Holding me tight but you feel a million miles from here. Slipping inside my head from the memories half unread. Forgetting how things used to be now they are just broken dreams. Is there a part of me that's missing? Or am I just empty. I need your love but it's not comforting but I reject it so openly. I need you to care and you do but I can't see how? I'm so worthless and Lonely but you still love me. How can that be? How can someone so powerful and pure love anyone like me. But there is something about you that makes me feel so pure and good not like I'm some nothing destined to be ****** for all eternity. You call me love and beautiful. And that's what I am. I am loved and beautiful.

Same **** just another day from the seed you planted inside my brain, those four words that haunt me still today. Now I'm just a lost cause trying to find meaning in this world, broken hearted from some green eyed girl. But I find comfort in strangers the quick hellos and goodbyes no mess to clean up after because I'm still a mess if that matters. Im growing cold without the sun to keep me warm im growing cold from this non-inflicted harm. From this heartbreak that I feel every single day from the friends that disappear like evaporating water in the air only to come back for a brief season when it rains. Im lost and I feel alone but I know with time... All wounds heal.

I wanna fall asleep and never wake up... Dream about your love. Because at least that fantasy will last for eternity like the love you promised me. But reality is that you left me, broke me. Made me into a coward. Something im not. I'm weak so weak but yet I see hope in the distance a fading light not for you and I but for myself. Me. I see something in my self I haven't seen in ages good esteem.. I'm going to love myself. Because I am worth being loved. Because I am loved. And that's what I'll be.

The nights get lonely and the days seem short life has lost its purpose but the world keeps tumbling on. People pass, heartbroken and in pain. They are look up from the path that went astray if they can all make it so can I? I'll be a better guy by the end of the night. I still dream about you and how we used to touch. Thank you for letting me be apart of your journey and I mean it when I speak. I hope one day you'll find love in a young man full a heart of gold. And one day I'll find love in a lonely girl shivering from the cold. Our paths have left us in different routes maybe they will cross again but I have my doubts. Until next time my friend. Thank you do everything goodnight and amen.

I used to believe that moving images on a screen could help me forget about how hurt and broken I am. That for a brief second the scandalous screams and raging hormones could stop my heart from breaking. There was a hole left inside me at an early age no father around to teach me how to be a man. I filled that gap with ***  trying to figure out what life was all about. Im grown up now and not much has changed I still try to find comfort in a pizza delivery guy getting his payment from a fantasy brought on by a teenage dream. A naughty school girl who needs to be punished. The **** librarian who told you to be quiet. These images these moving images on my laptop screen have destroyed the very moral behind this beautiful thing. Forever my mind will be tainted. Forever my mind will be not pure, forever it will be hard to fall for a girl based on her heart not her pearls, or her smile, her eyes, her neck, and whatever is below that.