This Christmas
I reflect on the year
God gave me
This year was met with struggle
More than with ease
I sinned
I lied
Sometimes I felt so alone
But I'm reminded today
How I'm never truly alone
God is with me
And he's blessed me
With wonderful friends
And a supportive family
Sometimes along the way
We forget what we have
Christmas reminds us
Of how we're never alone
We were given a gift
Of eternal life
And happiness
That's the gift
That Christmas is about
Merry Christmas
And don't forget
That you're never alone

I want someone to love
someone to share food with
hold hands
play games with and just cuddle whenever
tease each other and wear their clothes
I want a love that'll last a long time
we wouldn't have to worry about the other of us cheating
we'd have each other and that's all we'd need
somebody's chest to hide my face on during scary movies
see each other as often as we wanted
go on road trips and rent small, dinky motels
go to drive in movies, whisper sweet nothings as we watch
eat at tiny diners or window shop together
waste an entire day at the park until the starts come out
catch lightening bugs in the summer
snuggle by the bonfire in my backyard
I want that easy, simple, truthful kind of love

i have been battling the concept of being strong
had this mask on for just a little to long
they say just push threw it, its the same old song
but im contemplating that this notion might be wrong
my arms are getting tiered and this storm has not moved
worked my self to the bone but what have i proved

" As you grow older, your Christmas list gets smaller; the things you really want for the holidays can’t be bought "

The older i got and the more years that have passed , the true meaning of this holiday has become clear. In your final days , as were all taking our final breath will you ask the doctor to bring you your new xbox one ? Or bring you out to your new car so you can sit in it ? How about grabbing that new coach purse so you can clutch it ? Dont be silly.

In your final moments , you ask to be surrounded by your family , to hold the hands of the people who have been there with you , supported you. Loved you. If these people matter SO much then; shouldnt they matter just as much now ?

Christmas isnt about buying , or rushing around to get gifts; its about gathering with family and enjoying that really precious time you do have. Right here. Right now.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday's all my friends here , stay blessed <3

The jagged teeth in my flesh,
is this what you did to the rest?
**** and twist till my flesh tears,
grab and pull out all my hair.

A cannibal, you rip me to pieces,
and I'm here hoping the pain ceases.
Dig deep into my chest till you find a heart,
pull it out and take it apart.

You're an animal, a cannibal at heart,
tearing apart poor souls,
and swallowing them whole.

Reach deep into my chest and squeeze,
grab my lungs and make me breathe.
Rip out my organs and rearrange them,
then send me on my way.

Send me far away,
far from home.
Somewhere to roam,
and be alone.

Don't let me see your pretty face again,
I might rip it off.
How much did it cost,
the mask you wear?

You're an animal, a cannibal at heart,
tearing apart poor souls,
and swallowing them whole.

I think I saw you in my dreams last night.
When I fell asleep without the haunting of my cell light.
Waiting for you to text me or give me a call,
I fell asleep with no thought of you at all.
So imagine my surprise when you stroll up and give me a kiss,
under the mistletoe surrounded by the white snow's mist.
A Christmas dream enveloped in bliss.
I miss you more than you could wish.

*-c.a.

Sinking into the abysm of the dark corridors of my mind
Here, In darkness where every thought becomes so clear
Each breath mirrored by silence
And this solitude forever drills tiny holes into bits of me
I shudder when I catch my own reflection in the mirror
My tormentor looks just like me.

I am only but human
Enclosed by 4 walls.

Once, these walls were miles away
Akin the earth from the Milky Way.
I had no restrains;
like a bird in the vast blue sky,
Like a fish in the water body of earth.

As years passed
The walls closed in,
Restraining and constricting
But never impeding tasked errands.

Recently however,
No matter where I turn,
My head hits solid walls and bruises.
But that's still fine I guess,
For the sky I still can see.

Now though,
A new wall seems to be spiraling down from above
Passing down from one hand to another.
Air that's coming in is thinning,
I'm suffocating.

I wonder which last pair of hands this wall would feel
For I am only but human.