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Austine May 2014
isn’t it sad
how you once were
my past,
how i have always
wanted you to
be my future,
and how there
always seems to
be no present
for us?
Austine Oct 2013
Shadows.
In all directions I look,
I am surrounded by shadows
that make it hard for me
to decipher the dissemblance
when my eyes are wide open
and when they are sealed shut.

Darkness hovers over me
like it is fused with the air I am breathing;
suffocating me and making me gasp
for the unseen
that is imperative to keep me subsisting.

It seems that my lungs
turn into two small plastic bags
that need to be refilled
every quarter of a second
regardless of how abysmal
I drag air into my system.

With each breath I take
paralleling each time that passes,
I drift farther and farther away into oblivion.

Maybe this is how it feels
to dispossess yourself
and let the phantom take over
what is left of you.
Maybe this is how it feels
to be lost and remain unsought.

Yet even with treacherous memory I now have,
there is still a fragment that fails to vanish.
It is the fragment that remembers
the glimmer that used to keep the darkness away.

The scintillation that awakened love, hope, and faith
that lounged within me.

The light.

My light.

You.
Austine Oct 2013
Cheers to the broken hearts
As the lonely in us departs
Cheers to the voices in our heads
As every piece of us spreads
Cheers to the hands that create
To live forever is our piece’s fate
Cheers to the hot coffee
That sets our thoughts free
Cheers to the sleep we withhold
When our nocturnal reveries unfold
Cheers to the people that come by
Who leave with more than just hi
Cheers to the people that are lost
For they will soon find their true cost
And cheers, cheers, cheers
You hope for beers, but no, they’re tears
Austine Oct 2013
is this as far as we can go?
are the lodging feelings to sink six feet below?
in the thick of the stars that glow
along the tracks of the train that goes slow
i seek for answers to flow
will the scintillation from long ago
wind up just another dumb show?
or will we be able to bestow
each other with a lasting beau?

how can i ever be
the keeper of the most precious key
to a heart that’s shattered in three?
separated by an outstretched sea
will you ever hear me as i plea
for on your hands you hold my glee?
will you finally come free me
and lead me to a love with no fee?

why can’t i seem to tell
that i’m under an agonizing spell?
unrequited love comes really close to a cell
where only anguish and misery dwell
however way i want to quell
this love that puts me in hell
it will never change the fact that i fell
and you broke into my own shell

am i still going to fight
and hold on tight
even with my missing knight?
my will tells me to further re-ignite
so i could keep the subsequent bright
but will i still find the only light
that will help me see through the night?
Austine Oct 2013
Losing control
As on my knees I fall
I used to stand so tall
But with you, I crawl
Troubled thoughts
I feel at a loss
Didn’t my words come across
or did you have them all tossed?
Fractured and frozen
For I believed I was chosen
Over everything that was golden
But now, I’m left broken
My cherished moment
My stolen enjoyment
My love with no current
My heart with a dent
Austine Oct 2013
And events happen  
As I please a sudden
Heart and soul gladden
Gloom farefarren
Wheel certainly is round
For my turn on the top is bound
My voice, heard and found
On the crevices of the ground
I am saved, I am saved
From where I hid and in I caved
For a genuine soul braved
To offer love that’s graced
Why, loving soul? Why?
For my every cry
You never pry
Why loving soul? Why?
Deserving, I am not
Of loving that is this lot
Of caring with no dot
Of this connection uncut
But still you stay
Never once did you go far away
For we both can’t last a day
Without each other at bay
You take away the blue
Add each and every other hue
To create my color that is you
I love you. I truly do.
Austine Oct 2013
i’ve broken my bones for you
over and over and over again
up to the last that i’ve kept untouched
with each fracture a reminder of
all the dreams you crippled
a dismembered skeleton  
of varied tortured reveries
with its core exposed
wounded and now
ruefully useless
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