I saw strength—
Arms that once hold me,
Protected me
Turned into fragility:
The weakened shadow
Of the bravest man.—
I saw and I stood
Powerless,
Tears holding,
fears living in my mind.
Wanting to give
Some of my years
To the one heart
that gave me
Everything
And more.

And I still remember every Christmas.
how I was hopeful, longing,
For what life had to offer.
I dreamed of love—
And how I would flourish in it.

It’s in my soul—
Like flesh pierced
By the glass-shaped pain
Sharp and raw.

Nobody knows how to help

I try to remove
the shattered memories
Each shard
Lacerating my insides,
Touching my spirit,
Echoing in my bones.

A ****** mess, I get more hurt.

Everything I touch—
stained
with overflowing emotions
Red, intense, thick
Heavy—  

It’s a deeper wound
Larger than myself
It keeps cutting
It keeps tearing
My hope

You get second-hand
updates
Of the way their hair looks
Piecing together glimpses
Of a parallel life
You hope next time
Some mutual friend shares their face
On a random Sunday
On that photos app
they look happier.