Dianali

Dianali 18m

All me

Deep in the middle
of the Irish midlands,
my essence is all over.
You’d put one foot inside
and say I haven’t changed—
hoarding sentimental knick-knacks,
all valueless,
all me.

You’d put one foot inside,
it’s ***** and it’s warm,
all irrelevant—
all me.

Dianali Apr 25

Second- hand therapy

Voice notes of a friend,
borrowed advice—
To my ear,
from their therapist,
in-the-flesh and
certified.
I assure them I’m fine.
I do well enough
with second-hand therapy
and my counsellor, AI.
“The future is here”
and most days,
it suffices.

#ai #therapy

Dianali Apr 25

Diver

You ground the **** out of me.

I expected a
flawless dive,
My Olympic-gold Diver.
So I put you 32 feet
off the ground—
Above the chlorine
and expectations’ glare.
Just for you to ******* slip—
hard and graceless.

Pathetic. Disappointment splashed.

#love #selfishness #disappointment

Dianali Apr 21

Tunnel vision

Could it be tunnel vision?
—I wonder,
as I see
they are running.
He kisses the hand
he’s already holding.
I could melt.
Way better than fiction—
Real life romance.

Could it be tunnel vision though?
—I wonder again, on the bus,
as I see
she’s shifting
her foot nervously—
and in a rare sight:
A sudden feet-hug,
his reaching hers,
containing and calming.

Could it be tunnel vision?
Or just a sweet foreshadowing?

#love #romance

Dianali Apr 20

Next picture

I saw you on a picture.
—And for a split moment,
I didn’t recognise my brain.
I programmed it differently.
For that specific task,
it’s usually set
to unpair itself
from my higher conscious self.

My standard policy is:
No empathy your way.

But today…
I could tell.
You seemed unwell.

Despite the damages done,
under your affection dictatorship
I didn’t rejoice.
I actually cared.

No trace of a mean smirk.
I really wished you the best.

Hope it reaches you,
written all over your face,
Next time I catch a glimpse
In some picture of a friend.

#heal #love

Dianali Apr 18

Cozier

It was cold in your dorm.
I choked on my silences.
I felt unwelcome,
and briefly— desired.

You walked me to the stop,
Said I was almost running—
As I waited for my bus,
the plastic bench felt cozier.

#toxic #love