Goodnight, goodnight
I will recall
Goodnight, goodnight
This was a hard fall

Goodnight, goodnight
You promised we’d fight
Goodnight, goodnight
But nothing’s alright

Goodnight. goodnight
I loved you for so long
Goodnight, Goodnight
But still you are gone

Goodnight, goodnight
I’m done with this war
Goodnight, goodnight
It’s my turn to soar

Goodnight, goodnight
I refuse to grieve
Goodnight, goodnight
It’s my turn to leave

Your lips
Are a mixture of tobacco
And mint gum
You’re like a drug
Addictive
So please
Give me one more hit

Hey, big brother
Do you remember me?
I’m the little sister you’ll lose
In a few months or so
I look up to you
So **** much
You’re my hero
My best friend
The only one I can trust
But you mistreat me
So ******* much
It’s like you hate me
I don’t want to put myself through this anymore
So once you leave for college
I won’t see you anymore
Not willingly
You’ll lose a little sister
And I’ll lose the person
Who hurts me the most

I don't really know you
But I know that smile
I know it's not wholehearted
And I know that you're faking it
I know you're struggling
I know life is hard right now
I know you feel like nothing will get better
And I know you feel hopeless, lost
But I know other stuff, too
I know how happy you make people
I know how amazing you are
I know that your life is just at the start
And I know how great it will be
I don't know a lot of things
But I know that you can't give up
So please
Please don't give up

I think I saw you in my sleep, darling
Darling, you were in my dreams
You never seem to leave my mind, darling
Darling, why won’t you leave?

There’s something about you, darling
Darling, I just don’t know what
I’ve never seen someone like you, darling
Darling, you’re unique

I love the way you smile, darling
Darling, your laugh is divine
Your jokes are kind of corny, darling
Darling, I still love them

I love how awkward you are, darling
Darling, you’re oh so shy
But that’s ok, darling
Darling, we’re just the same

I know you don’t notice me, darling
Darling, I’m invisible to you
But you take up so much room in my heart, darling
Darling, I love you

Your lips are like razor blades
So darling,
Kiss my lips
And my cheek
Kiss my wrist
Just as deep
Maybe then
I can sleep
In a never ending dream

Daydreamer, realities a drag
Live in your mind
Happiness in a bag
Why live in real life
When you got your stories?
You’ve got an easy way
To escape all your worries
Daydreamer, you go with the flow
Daydreamer, you dodge every blow
With your head in the clouds
You got nothing figured out
But hey, that’s ok
No need to be so stout!
As you fly with the birds
And cruse in the sky
Your lost among clouds
High as a kite

I don’t like those good boys
Fresh faced, bright eyes
Chewing on their  white lies
I like the rough lips
Rugged on his cheek bones
Who would have known
I don’t belong to anyone
I held him captive
In my skin
My whiskey lips
Held him in
And exhaled his ghost
Where’d you go?
You’re somewhere in the body sleeping next to me
But the left side of the bed is cold
Who would have known
I’d break the bad boy
Boy, you should have known
When you saw me drinking straight out of the bottle
When I smoked all your cigarettes
I’m nothing but bad news
When we first met
You asked for my name
I said it was trouble
It wasn’t a challenge
It was a warning
That you didn’t head
And now look at us
Broken and bent
Shattered pieces on the bathroom floor
But I’ll get better
I’ll put myself back together
I don’t think you’ll be so lucky
Because I can see the look in your eyes
You’re used to breaking
Not getting broken
And I can tell you won’t be getting over this soon

Your lips tasted like peppermint
And cigarettes and pizza
It was intoxicating
Addictive
But I had to let go

Through sleepless nights and
Tired days
You fight your fights now
In a daze
The clouds are back and
Raining down
It’s so ****** up here
In this town
You’re a fighter who’s armor
Has been worn thin
Protecting others
From life’s cruel sin
You seem so tired
With eyes drooping and
Your bones aching
But you can’t give up
No, not just yet
Le gets good
You wanna bet?
You may not believe
You are strong enough
But I know you are
So I’ll call your bluff
Please, I’m beggin you
To stay a while longer
For no one else but yourself
To show that you are stronger
One day you will look back and know
Why you were meant to stay
You have a place in life
A role you were meant to live and play
So keep your head up
Through all the blows
Your life is at the start
Not the close

Oh my sweet misery
The pain comes for free
It’s a bitter sweet

And now I’m standing alone
Even more than before
Sweet misery

I could tell from the start
When you guarded your heart
I should have walked away
But I got caught in your trap
A web of love and lies
I couldn't escape
I wanted the pain

Oh my sweet misery
The pain comes for free
It’s a bitter sweet

And now I’m standing alone
Even more than before
Sweet misery

I fell too hard
Too fast for you to catch
Love like fireworks
That burned out too quick
Like a cigarette

I should have walked away
I should have already known
There’s nothing but misery
Left in love for me

Oh my sweet misery
The pain comes for free
It’s a bitter sweet

Oh my sweet misery
The pain comes for free
It’s a bitter sweet

And now I’m standing alone
Even more than before
Sweet misery

You've caught me in a constellation. Stars surrounding us as the galaxies intertwine themselves in our hands and stardust settles in our hair. I don’t think we’re flying, no, we’re just kind of floating. Sustained in space without gravity to pull us down back to reality. Your skin is glowing as the pale moon illuminates you, your aurora embracing mine as we become one. Our hands are interlaced and our legs tangled up. I kiss your chest and I feel your heartbeat on my lips, insuring me that you are, in fact, here in this very moment with me. There is no time, nothing to pass us by. We simply exist in the now with no past to haunt us or future to worry about. Your breath leaves a chill to run up and down my spine, goosebumps rising and falling in time. Whispered words left in each others ears meant to flutter hearts and bring solace to souls once lost. At this moment, nothing has mattered more to me than your eyes and your hands and the way your lips move when they speak and you tell me the same thing, that right now I’m all that matters to you. It’s something I never completely believe but it’s so sweet to hear, making me feel as if I do matter, at least to you. We’re floating in space, no direction or objective. Our heads lost in each other as we fade away into the blackness that is not really as black as it seems. It’s more like a deep blue that is not found in the sea. Who knew something so dark could be so comforting. But it’s not really dark, because I’m here with you.

I’m sorry
I’m not the brightest star in the universe
I’m sorry
I’m not the most beautiful rose in the garden
I’m sorry
My cheeks don’t blush rosy red
When you compliment me
I’m sorry
My attitude and personality is stronger than yours
I’m sorry
I curse like a sailor
I’m sorry
I’m not a prim and proper girly girl
I’m sorry
I’m not like most girls you fall in love with
I’m sorry
For being so independent
I’m sorry
For being so reckless
And stupidly fun
Most of all
I’m sorry
That you can’t see
All my faults and flaws
All my oddities and quirks
All my imperfections
Make my perfect
Just the way I am

“Worthless *******”
You yell at me
Time after time
Your words are bullets
And you act as if
I have a bulletproof vest on
But I don’t

“No wonder you’re a loser”
You taunt
Every **** day
Whenever I make
A simple mistake
And I seem to make those a lot

“You’re an ungrateful *****”
You shout at me
Just because I don’t do
Exactly as you say
You manipulative *******

“Go **** yourself”
You sneer
Fine
You win
I’m done
I’ll be gone before you know it

I was more like a fire
Burning and raging dangerously
You were more like paper
Just waiting to be ignited

To tell you the truth, I’m toxic
I’m a pretty ****** up person
And if I’m being honest
I’ll ******* up too

I drink too much
I swear like sailor
I cut my skin
I drink the wrong pills

I’m not pretty
I’m not nice
I’m not cheerful or happy
As a girl should be

Honestly, I’m terrible
And you need someone safer
Less reckless
Than me

Because if we get attached to each other
And I do something stupid
Or you realize I’m not worth the risk
Our hearts will be broken

And I don’t want to see you hurt like that

The church pews were decorated with flowers
The aisles lined in petals
The bridesmaids all in blue
The groomsmen all in suites
The attendants sat with happy smiles
As the music started playing
The groom started crying
As his wife-to-be walked down the aisle
Escorted by her father
The bride was the cynosure of all eyes
And so they made
An unbreakable vow
And began their life together

It’s 3am
I’m wide awake
And it still hurts

It’s really weird
How relationships go
Between humans
They all follow the same sequence:

I don’t know you
But hello stranger
We’ll get to know each other
Let’s be friends

I know you
So **** well
You’re so amazing
My friend

I need you
I fell for my bestfriend
You fell for me too
And now, we’re together

I love you
I can just tell
We’ll be together forever
You’re my true love

I miss you
We broke up
I want you back
I can’t live without you

I hate you
You broke my heart
I want you out of my life
How could I ever love you?

I don’t know you
But hello stranger
We used to know each other
We used to be more than friends

2 a.m is for parties
Showing off to loud music
And a thumping bass
**** and beer being passed around
As we try to forget the tragedy
That is our teenage years

2 a.m. is for the envious
The castaways constantly forgotten
Who wish they could be accepted
But don’t realize their pain
Would prevail either way

2 a.m is for forgetting
With a dreamful escape
Dead for at least a few hours
Because sometimes you just can’t deal with being awake
And suicide is frowned upon

2 a.m. is for remembering
Whether you want to or not
As you lay awake in bed
Mind racing with thoughts and memories
Sleep never comes

2 a.m. is for the lonely
Wishing for someone to hold
Someone who understands
But as they reach for the other side of the bed
They find nothing but empty space

2 a.m. is for the lovers
Happily sleeping in each others arms
Because they’re finally at peace
They can face the world together
And sleep can come easily

2 a.m. is being single
Because love ***** and feelings hurt
And sometimes you just need to find yourself
So you can be independent
And get shamelessly wasted

2 a.m. is for the parents
Who heard their baby cry
Or their kid had a nightmare
Because yeah, sleeping is great
But taking care of your child is so much better

2 a.m. is for alcoholics
Who fake a smile all day
To drink their pain away all night
And wish they could trade their heart
For another liver

2 a.m. is for the sober ones
Who never drink or gave it up
And are fighting the temptation
But everything seems tougher
At 2 a.m.

2 a.m. is for those smart people
Whose minds are always working
To figure everything out
And refuse to take a break
Because that’s just wasted time

2 a.m. is for the dumb people
Who aren't really dumb
They’re just smart in a different way
But after getting called stupid their whole lives
They start to believe it

2 a.m is for the fans
Staying up all night watching their favorite show or band
Because they saved their life
And they are more than willing to do anything for them
And losing some sleep isn't much

2 a.m. is for the students
Who are cramming for an exam
Or finishing their essay
Or maybe just procrastinating
Because ****, school is hard

2 a.m. is for the teachers
Because they need to grade these papers
Or complete the lesson plan
And even if it doesn't seem like it
Teaching is a hard job

2 a.m. is for the doctors
Working the graveyard shift
That have seen way too much in their career
But someones gotta do it
And saving lives is worth it

2 a.m. is for the nurses
Working along side the doctors
Wishing they had the same respect as doctors
But would never give up their job
Because they really are good people

2 a.m. if for the patients
Who are in so much pain
And are fighting for their lives
They just want to get out of this place
That smells a bit too clean

2 a.m. is for the readers
Who can’t put down their book
Because it’s just that good
And refuse to sleep until they know
What happens to their favorite characters

2 a.m. is for the dreamers
Who’s imagination comes to life
At the oddest times
And think life is ******* amazing
If you look at it just right

2 a.m. is for the realist
Who can’t sleep because they know how ****** life is
And lost their innocence long ago
They refuse to sugar coat anything
Because they don’t want others to hurt like they did

2 a.m. is for the poets
Writers whose minds can come up with anything
At any time
And they just have to get up and write it
In fear of forgetting it

2 a.m. is for musicians
Who stay up all night to play a gig
Or finish a song before the magic fades
And they know this sleepless life is hard
But they love it anyways

2 a.m. is for artist
Because that clear vision
Just won’t translate on the sketch
And yeah, it’s getting really late
But that’s no reason to give up

2 a.m. is for the cutters
Who rid themselves of daily pain
With the bitter-sweet kiss of a blade
And new scars
Only to cover them up in the morning

2 a.m. is for saving lives
Because that’s when things get tough
The ones you love are about to give up
But you fight like hell to stop them
And a phone call has never been so important

2 a.m. is for suicide
Because you don’t believe anyone cares
And this is the best time to end your life
Since it’s easier to go unnoticed
And you don’t realize the pain you’ll cause

2 a.m. is for everyone
Because everyone goes through life
Because everyone feels
And every emotion seems a  thousand times stronger
Those late nights at 2 a.m.

Tell me:

When did blowing bubbles
Turn into blowing smoke?

When did soda
Turn into *****?

When did pool parties
Turn into late-night skinny dipping?

When did Smarties
Turn into hydros?

When did sneakers
Turn into high heals?

When did cheek kisses
Turn into ***?

When did juice boxes
Turn into cheap beer?

When did bikes
Turn into cars?

Tell me:

When did growing up
Turn into this?

I've written of you
So many times
You've become immortal
In between these lines

I’m sorry
For my self-destructive tendencies
For all my bad decisions
For being reckless and impulsive

It’s just that nothing good can stay
And I know this for a fact
So I tear it all apart
Before it’s ripped away

I know that it’s unhealthy
I’m not letting myself be happy
But I refuse to let my pain be caused
By anyone but myself

Oh Cupid
What is your plan?
For all I see right now
Is you playing with my heart
Simply for amusement
Oh, why did you strike me
With your bitter bow
But not shoot at someone else?
All my love is wasted
Spent on unrequited love
Woe and weep
Because my tender heart
Is aching in my chest
For someone
And this hopeless love
Has left me bruised and bleeding

He never learned to touch without scarring
He never learned to speak without scaring
He never learned to joke without mocking
He never learned to live without hurting

See, his father was crazed
While his mother just braved
With anger, he was raised
And he was never saved

Deep down, he’s a sweet boy
But that’s what his father sought to destroy
He was abused like a play-toy
And their house lacked joy

He wasn't a soft person
His childhood made him a violent version
The constant incursion
Caused extreme introversion

It’s a horrible cycle
That can make anyone spiteful
Violently idle
Or in his case, suicidal

Hey there fighter
Are you ok?
You’ve been knocked down
More times than I can say

Sometimes by others who don’t seem to care
Sometimes they care but their words are unfair
Sometimes the hate comes from your mind
Other times your blood is the one who’s unkind

It amazes us that you can’t see
How beautiful you really are
Your beauty isn’t just skin deep
It goes deeper than your soul, by far

Art flows from your fingertips
Imagination comes to life
Your mind shown in little clips
A pencil is you knife

As you move with gracefulness
There’s emotion in every move
Every jump and kick and twirl
Talent is there an proved

With music pouring in your ears
You seem to lose all your fears
We all know music numbs the pain
And it stops your pretty tears

You’ll never know just how loved
You are by every one of us
But we will try to let you know
You know, just because

One look at you and and they can’t tell
What this small-town girl is hiding
Secrets both good and bad
A wonderful girl just fighting

I’ll gladly admit
I’m fairly insane
I’m hard to put up with
I’ll never be tamed

I’ll give you a headache
Confusion, no doubt
Awkward and quiky
That’s what I’m about

A nerd and a dork
I cause quite the damage
Not many people
Can put up the the challenge

But if you can
Put up with me
The very best
I’ll try to be

Because for those I love
I’d do it all
Sacrifice myself
So they never fall

I’m asking you
To put down your stance
I’ll prove it to you
Just give me a chance

A demure child
Of about ten years old
Sweet and quiet
She did not do much
With her light brown hair
And soft brown eyes
She wore flowery dresses
And had a sense of innocence
Her classmates teased
And bullied her
Trying to get a rise
But they knew
This mild girl
Was not one to fight back
Until one day
They pushed her hard
Her favorite book
Landed in the mud
She started shaking
Not from fear
There was anger
In her eyes
She pushed right back
A boy twice her size
And watched as he landed
In the mud
Another tried
To pull her hair
So she punched him
In the nose
As he fell
She looked around
And dared someone else
To step up
When no one did
She picked up her book
She dusted her dress
And calmly walked home
Ever since that day
Everyone knew
This quiet girl
Was not one to be tried

Good girls are bad girls
Who haven’t been caught
Man, I’m telling you
Forget what you thought

She’s her mama's little girl
And her daddy’s princess
Her big brother loves her
With her they feel blessed

She got into Harvard
Future full of success
Modest and preppy
Is the way she will dress

She’s got straight A’s
4.0 G.P.A
But this goodies got a secret
That she’ll never say

She’s got a tattoo
She keeps covered up
She’s got some piercings
Make her look like a punk

She’ll sneak out of school
To be with her boyfriend
But she’s real good at lying
No one finds out in the end

She drives way too fast
It can’t be street legal
With loud music pumping
Her driving’s not dull

She’s got beer in one hand
A cigarette in the other
She looks pretty bad ***
As she lights up another

She’s the life of the party
Carpe diem is her motto
She refuses to slow down
Or live with legato

This girl is the prodigy
Who keeps up the image
But she still has her fun
She has double privilege

So yeah, to you
She’s might be a good girl
But good girls are bad girls
Who never get caught

He’s a comely young man
Blonde hair and blue eyes
With enginuitive talent
And an intellectual mind

She was a lovely young lady
With dark hair and green eyes
With musical talent
And an artistic mind

He was raised rather high class
With a gentleman umbriging
He was told he owned the world
And he grew up believing it

She grew up being told
You had to work for what you had
She was taught to fight for her rights
And she was a stubborn heart

He always carried the mantra
“Speak softly and carry a big stick”
Silent and polite
He had the poise of a prince

Her thoughts were louder
She was more likely to yell and use the big stick
She was a wilder spirit
Who kind of lacked grace

But the two opposite
Polar personalities
Did have a large similarity
They loved each other

No one know exactly
How this love came to be
As it was very unexpected
For them to even get along

But I have never known a greater love
As the one shared by those two
For this affection was one
That saw past even the greatest differences

Stop making me want you
Stop making me blush
Stop making me stutter
Stop making my heart skip a beat
Or two
Just stop
It hurts so much knowing
That I can never be with you
And you don’t even realize it
So please
Stop being so amazing
Let me get over you
I can’t deal with this heartache any longer

There’s this lady down my street
Who makes me kind of sad to see
Her house is smells kind of vile
She’s an ailurophile

She’s got about ninety of them
She started hoarding since the day when
Her husband died, long ago
And to her, that was quite a blow

So she started hoarding little friends
Who love her to no end
She takes care of them all so well
Something everyone can tell

The little old lady down my street
Is actually very, very sweet
With her pets and her home she feel safe and cozy
This nice old lady is quite fogey

Anger
That’s all I feel
Pumping from my heart
Coursing through my veins
Flaring in my eyes
I want to yell
At the top of my lungs
Until they explode
I want to punch something
Anything
So it can hurt like I do
I want to run
Faster and farther
Until my legs are numb and give out
I feel so many ******* emotions
That all want to come out at once
So they all come out as anger
So I’m sorry
If I lash out and hurt you
I’m just so **** angry
And I can’t help it

He was an older man
Of about forty five years
He had a wife and children
And his very own home

One day, abruptly
A phone call came in
From the hospital  of the town
He had grown up in

His father, a man
Late in his years
Had just passed away
And so started the tears

Now, his father was one
For whom he had utmost respect
For his father raised him alone
Since the day he was born

The next few weeks
Were a blur to the man
For he had just lost his hero
It was a sudden slam

The man was back
At his childhood home
After the funeral
He sat in his old room

He was looking through a few
Of his old playthings
When he picked up a box
He heard rattle around

Inside he saw
His old collection of marbles
Oxbloods and oilies
Lutz, aggies, and clambroths

He noticed a piece of paper
Under his favorite marble
A chatoyant thumper
His father had given him as a starter

He unfolded the paper
And he was surprised to see
His father's handwriting
He began to read

“Son, I know that you're reading this
It means I’m probably gone
But one thing I want you to know
Is that you’ll never be alone

I remember the day that your mother left
You had just been born
I swore that very day you’d never miss her
I’d be your dad, your mom, and more

As I watched you grow
Into the man you are
I couldn’t be prouder
Of who you’ve become

I’ll love you more than you’ll ever know
I’m proud to call you my son
Be the husband and father I know you can be
Because I know you’re a **** good one

I know you’re probably heartbroken
But don’t be sad for too long
Because I’ll forever watch over you
Goodbye, son, please stay strong”

The man had tears in his eyes
When his little girl walked him
She looked at him with big brown eyes
And asked her daddy what’s wrong

He shook his head and said nothing
While picking his princess up
He carried her and his marbles downstairs
A sad, hopeful smile stuck on his lips

It’s such a beautiful thing
The way the sky caresses the land
How the Sun kisses the Earth
Goodmorning and goodnight
And always comes back
No matter how many times
He is pushed away
In favor of the Moon
Wouldn’t it be lovely
To have a love like that
One where even in the darkest hours
Always prevails
A love with warmth so strong
It gives everything life
A love that was always meant to be
And will go on for infinity
Oh, how wonderful it would be
If you’d be my Earth
And I’ll be your Sky
You hold me up
And I’ll love you endlessly

The lovers sat on the couch
Of their lovely little bungalow
As they snuggled up together
They listened to the rainfall
And the steady rhythm
Of each others heartbeat
Inside their home
They felt safe
As if in their own little world
Together tucked away
In their little slice of heaven
Together
Never to be separated

It was a bucolic setting
With friendly neighbors
And well kept gardens
With well manicured lawns
There were very tiny schools
And a tinier church
Both with white walls
And well behaved children
It was such a quaint place
A peaceful little town
Where nothing really happened
So what a surprise it came
To the other townspeople
When they heard the nice little choir girl
The one everyone knew and loved
Had killed herself

I know this one boy
He has shaggy dark hair
And dark eyes
That seem so full of emotion
Yet empty all the same

I’ve never talked to him
I don’t think anyone has
He keeps to himself
But he does write quite a lot
In this old leather journal
He always carries around

He always wears skinny jeans
And lots of band-tees
But for some reason
He always wears sleeves
He’s got a lip piercing
And a few tattoos

Once, I had a terrible day
So I decided to skip class
I instead went snuck upstairs to the roof
I didn’t expect to see anyone there
But someone’s back was facing me

It was the boy I never talked to
He was writing in his journal
Scribbling furiously, pen in hand
I guess he also came here to brood
He just had that look

I went up behind him and said his name
He had earphones in with music playing loud
I knew the song, it was from my favorite band
Vices by Memphis May Fire

I tapped his shoulder and he jumped
He looked back at me in surprise
I asked if he was ok

He shrugged
He looked up at me with sad eyes
I sat next to him, shoulder to shoulder
And asked him what’s wrong

His dad yells at him
And tells him terrible things
His older brother always beats him up
And his big sister killed herself
His mom just doesn’t care
She’s never really home
His depression just keeps getting worse
He can barely get out of bed
Anxiety is eating him alive
And he’s trying, though failing, to stop his self harm

He started crying in the middle of his story
So I held him as he whimpered
And told him mine
We never talked to each other before in our life’s
We never had an exchange of words
But now as we sat together on the roof
I never felt closer to anyone

After a while, he seemed to calm down
I pulled up his sleeve and traced his scars
He looked down, he seemed kind of ashamed
I lifted up his chin and rolled up my sleeve
And showed him we had matching battle scars

He looked up at me with teary eyes
I told him about hope
And how things would get better
I told him if he could hold on
For just a few more years
He could get away from those who hurt him
And out of this **** town

I held his hand in mine
And looked him in the eye
I told I would be there
Every step of the way
And that if he would hold on
I would hold on with him

He nodded his head yes
He promised he would fight
He promised he would stay alive
If I would stay with him
Of course I said of course
We would make it through together
And so I became best friends with
The brooding boy on the roof

It happened suddenly
As a violent burst
Like a flash of lightning
Their love was toxic
An extraordinary dalliance
They thought it would last forever
But it ended quicker than Shakespearean love
It was real, it was true
But it burned out much too quickly
And it ended up as nothing more
Than a lesson for later love

Sometimes
I feel numb
Because every breath I take
Is cold
My tear ducts
Seem dry
And my brain
Seems to be on autopilot
I feel my heart beat
And I trace my veins
I may be alive
But I’m not truly living

It doesn’t matter
How shallow the water
You can still drown
It doesn’t matter
How short the cliff
You can still fall
It doesn’t matter
How small the matter
It can still tear you apart

It seems to me
That when it come to relationships
I’m alway on the outside
Looking in
But as a friend I notice things
Like how my friends
Always seem to change

See, Kaci’s always been shy
She never seemed to enjoy the spotlight
But after she started dating Ty
She’s becoming confident, taking flight

Kortni’s been through hell and back
With guys who never treat her right
But now she’s with Jacob, a real nice guy
And she’s a lot happier, it’s quite a sight

Miriyam’s alway been laid back
Though kind of eccentric, without a doubt
But her boyfriend Nuno lives a bit far away
So to me, she kind of seems stressed out

Nathanael has always been my friend
Someone on who I could always depend
But we stopped talking when Jocelyn came in
And our friendship came to a sudden end

Relationships can be really good
But they can be really bad
I don’t feel I have much right to say
As I’m just someone who’s looking in
But one thing that always seems true
Sometimes good, other times not
Whether it be out of the blue
Is my friends always seem to change

Hey pretty girl
Please come here
It’s ok to cry
To voice your fears

Now, I can tell
You’ve been strong for too long
I can tell you’re exhausted
To be vulnerable is not wrong

Your broken smile
Is one you seem to be faking
But it’s getting harder to lie
As your soul is aching

Let me tell you something right quick
Something I doubt you’ll believe
It’s actually pretty true
It’s just not something you can see

You are beautiful
Both inside and out
You are drop dead gorgeous
Without a single doubt

You’re oh so smart
In more than one way
Sometimes your brains
Leaves us all dazed

You have so much passion
For living your life
It’s quite beautiful
How you live without strife

You’re pretty hilarious
We love it when you’re silly
When you decide it’s time to laugh
It’s kind of odd, really

You have so much talent
It’s kind of mind blowing
Music and acting
It’s ability you’re showing

You’re known to be bossy
And kind of, sorta, pushy
But underneath your hard exterior
You’re actually very mushy

I have never known
A kinder soul
Your loving nature
Has left no one cold

But when it’s time to be tough
You’re the strongest I know
You keep your head up
And go with the flow

You are my bestest friend
Who made things not so bad
You’re the big sister
That I never had

You are so strong
Smart and able
Beautiful and wonderful
With your cards on the table

We don’t know why
You can’t see
That you’re absolutely wonderful
It’s time to believe

So pretty girl
Wipe your tears
It’s time to take on the world
And face your fears

I honestly don't want to
Erase you from my mind
Or my lips
Or my fingertips

I swear your love was like second hand smoke
Because it wasn't my choice to take it in
But it **** near killed me

A conflation of personalities
Two merged into one
In a single being
Who are you?
I don’t know
How do you feel?
I’m not sure
There’s war
Inside my head
I want everything
And nothing
All at once
There’s so much going on
A war inside my mind
I don’t who I am
I don’t know how I feel
All I know is I want
This confusion
To end

I never really know what to say
But I can say you took my breath away
You blindsided me
And before a metaphor could tumble from my lips
My palms were sweaty
And heartbeat unsteady
You know, silence is violent
So I try to fill it with dialogue
Though it usually turns into an awkward monologue
Then you lose interest in what I'm saying
It's not important
I just really want to talk to you
But I never know what to say
And so I make a fool of myself
While you give me that look
That shows how weird you think I am
Which is not untrue
I am beyond abnormal
I just wish you thought of me as the good kind of weird
If there is such a thing
The worst part is
I'm below average
And I know exactly who has your attention
I know I can't compete with her
I know if I do, I'll only hurt myself
I guess it's best if I just stay quiet
And let you overlook me
I'll give up on you
Even though I really
Really don't want to
And I'll wait for someone
Who thinks of me as the good kind of weird
If there is such a person

I've drank alcohol
Less bitter than your heart
I've smoked cigarettes
Sweeter than your words
Razors cut my skin
Softer than your lies
And I've swallowed pills
That numb me less
Than the heartbreak that you caused

I didn't realize
I was just a toy
For you to play with
For you to pass your time
You spent my love
Til it was wasted
On you
And I was broken
Broken inside

And I still don't understand
Why you meant brake my heart
Was it your plan?
I went through hell and back
Just for loving you
And now you’re gone
I’m all alone
I guess
I guess I’m better off

You knew very well
You never loved me
Yet you played the part
You lied straight through your teeth
All you wanted was
To see how far you could go
But you went too far
Now you could **** me with one blow

And I still don't understand
Why you meant brake my heart
Was it your plan?
I went through hell and back
Just for loving you
And now you’re gone
I’m all alone
I guess
I guess I’m better off

I hope one day
Someone takes your selfish heart
Gives you love and adoration
Then takes it back
And walks away
Like they never even cared
It’s what you deserve

But I still don't understand
Why you meant brake my heart
Was it your plan?
I went through hell and back
Just for loving you
And now you’re gone
I’m all alone
I guess
I guess I’m better off

I’m better off
Better off
Better off…..

When I die
Cremate me
And mix my ashes with glitter
Explode them with fireworks
As rock music blares in the distance
Make a bonfire
And drink
As you reminisce about my life

Walls keep me safe
From truth and lies
From emotion and pain
From people who want to be let in
Just so they can leave
Too bad I can't build walls
All around my mind
So I can be safe
From my demons and insecurities
It seems that walls can keep me safe from everything
But myself