Too much to say for only
one line
charming and deep
still
running short of time

ill take  a few moments
please awaken my soul
a verse or two,or three
to ease and fill this hole

quick witted
i claim
slow speeched
i convey
it seems everything in between
is meek
an easy role to play
mere uttered of words
of a beautiful girls regret
lacking of gerth im trying to convey
my role in life is set

fall onto paper
quotes
clear my aching brain
make me wise
make me sane

love me leave me
weeping with passionate tears
all for this the hope
of my dreams and
comparison of my life to theirs

you were curling my hair around your fingers and laughing at the shape of them
  or maybe you were just laughing at me,
         I’m not sure.
and then I told you I loved you and you smiled—
                  ok that didn’t happen—
what happened was you pulled at the curls you just made in your own hands
until they weren’t attached to my head anymore.
     it didn’t hurt, I think.
    and then you put them in your pocket and ran away
                                  and then you fell and she picked you up and put you in her pocket and ran away too.
then you came back and said whoops, sorry but you still didn’t give me them back
         I don’t know if I even want them back.
on the way to the place with the people and the things in the car you winked at me
or maybe you had something in your eye,
but I smiled and you said that’s fine so I cried for a little and then it was just us
but I was still scared she was going to put you in her pocket and run away again
     but you told me not to worry.
and then we were swimming in the pool
but then I looked down and it wasn’t a chlorine-colored blue
  it was red like the sun at sunset but it wasn’t sunset and there was no sun;
      I felt ok but you didn’t and you pulled a knife out from under the pillow—
               the one in your room—
and that’s when I finally realized you were going to be the one to **** me
and I also realized I was ok with it
because better you to **** me than some other shmuck,
you know?
      the only problem was I wasn’t the first one you killed,
or it should have been a problem,
or rather they all said it was a problem;
but it wasn’t.
and then we were rolling around in the grass,
and I lost an earring and you said whoops, sorry and I kissed you anyway
               but you didn’t kiss me back
but you pretended to and that was alright so I went with it
      but then you didn’t want to go all the way and I was ****** but pretended I wasn’t
and then you said shhhhhh and then you grew wings and flew away
and left me there for the birds to eat
while she grew wings to be with you so you weren’t alone.
and then we were sitting on your porch swing and it was swinging slowly
and you looked straight into my eyes for hours while I talked about nothing
but then you started to talk about something
and then I got really happy
and then we started swinging so fast that we were in the sky,
         but we weren’t, really.
and then she stopped the swing and picked you up and put you in her pocket and ran away again.
     this time you didn’t come back.
then I turned into ***** and told you I was ok with it.
                   and then I cried.
               and then I woke up.

I used to do
a little bit
of drugs,
and even though
they didn't wreck me
too bad,
I gave them up,
but I like
to get high,
so I have invented
the imaginary drug experience,
and what you do
is to say the name
of the drug, inside,
as you breathe out,
and then,
holding your nostrils open,
you forcefully inhale, fast,
in other words,
snort,
the air,
and my notion is
that the body/mind
will understand
that you want this drug
and it will produce
an endorphine,
(brain chemical),
which is like a mild form
of that drug,
and then,
you get a little bit high,
but it's awfully subtle,
so you have to be aware,
and there
you have it,
safe dope,
and you can't
get busted.

I used to be able to see my future
just as it was supposed to be

Get good grades,
work hard through hard classes
you come in and out of my life,
because i knew i loved you
but that it would never work out
graduate with high honors
and then take off from there.

I didn't count on it hurting so bad
when you left.
I didn't count on the fact
that i would become so confused
with every little thing going on in my life,
that grades would drop,
and so would my level of caring about anything.

Friends, family, grades, music, reading, the many smiles.
Everything that has been the focus of my life
everything i lived for.

But now there's nothing to live for...
what's the point?
my parents wouldn't have to pay for college
my friends all move away anyways,
at least, not the real ones...
grades? people get by without them
there will always be someone better in music
it's not like i'm going to make a career of it,
so why practice?

What will reading do other then learning?
it doesn't matter...
someone will always have read more.

This isn't a goodbye...
i don't know what it is...
but i know theres no purpose anymore
and this was the only way to say that.

I don't want to be in your bed sheets.
And I don't want you tangled up in mine,
I made my bed this morning.
I don't want you in my bed sheets,
Tangled up in them
Entwined
As if they were the vines of lust,
Binding you to the mirage of Us
The vines of love are coated with dust,
It's dangerous.
It's slippery.
Wet like the ocean as soon as you dip in me.
They say the ocean is deep and within it lie secrets...
Kiss me farewell and dive to the bottom of the seven seas just to keep it.
I don't want to go swimming in my bed sheets.
Then they'd be drenched from the high tides of expired desire
I don't want to wring out the deception that you perspire
I don't want to make my bed again.
My laundry is clean.