The sound of my pain whips my emotions as if it were the devils laughter there is no love in my heart nor any regret I don't regret loving you I only look down upon my existence because to exist in a world with you is chaos to breathe your air is poison to look at you and still feel my emotions running deep is a pain all on its own if only I could end you like you ended me if only I had the strength to break free if only I could see that you were never suppose to be part of me if only I could just be free.

Please don't make me dream of you
As I wake up tired and still unmoved
Restless with a feeling of dread
And another stream of tears unproved

For dreamless I long to be again
Blind to everything that comes with sleep
The sweet in the bitter doesn't feel enough anymore
And illusions are not good company to keep

Rest assured I won't be reckless,
Rest assured perhaps I will...

Sometimes I feel like I'm always giving
Ladi J I'm blue today
Ladi J my dog died
Ladi J lemme tell you what this bleep bleep bleep did
Oh the list goes on
Records playing and playing in my mind
Sometimes I jus want some peace
Where God and I can meet for some restorability
Man I'm not even totally In my field yet
I'm jus treading the massive waters
But it plagues my mind where will my hero be
Who will I be able to cry to
I know God's ear bleed sometimes
But everyone else mess continues to plague my mind
I will continue to use this art of poetry as my stress reliever
Making the audience a believer in my smilies and metaphors
But I still wonder who will be my hero??
Let the story continue...

i'm just so
tired
        my spine weighs me down
it has lost its
       strength
each vertebra has taken in sadness

they hold it, being my backing weight
         pulling the energy out of me
sapping my life slowly
                        because of the         effort

that it now requires
     just so that
i can hold it up,
     it tires me

        to remain upright

All it took was an apple
to bring down
The Most Beautiful Girl in the World

huh

When I grew up
She was the head cheerleader
and I often thought about throwing
apples at her head
but instead, I quietly contemplated
how a baseball bat
would make my point instead

I was forever hated

Cinderella had mice and birds
and all kind of vermin
bring her up to speed
with a beautiful dress
and a pumpkin coach

But instead of planting a big wet one
on the Prince of her dreams
who was really just a wet noodle
in her arms, it seems
She turned tail and ran
at the first sign of romance
and I bet her bare feet,
on the way out,
squashed more than one roach

Rapunzel had her golden hair
that could have easily been
a noose around her neck
But instead she used it to trap
Men like flies
Notice it was never her ****
that hit the deck!

Never more a worthless ****
of all the stories of yore
was Sleeping Beauty
who waited for a prince to come
unconscious the whole time
and just as oblivious
to the perilous journey
AND the responsibility that HE bore

yawn

Want to hear the one
about a girl who by no means
had any looks?
She had intelligence
noted by all the books
She had street smarts
by virtue of hiding at home
She had an even uglier stepfather
that never left her alone
Her long dark hair
and soulful eyes
brought all the boys to her side
No two toads were alike
and a kiss was too steep
a price to pay
for such a scary ride

She tried to sleep forever
until one day
her life might become better
But she awakened and
the scars she made
won't let her

ever forget

*the Fairytale
ain't real

She's right there
fifteen feet from me,
my red, dilated eyes
and bleeding legs
screaming her name
or rather screaming the fact that I couldn't scream her name
couldn't whisper it,
couldn't even get close enough
that if I had whispered it, she would have heard me.
But she's right there
and she doesn't hear me anyway.
So why am I bleeding?
Why am I high?
Why am I broken?
She doesn't care