I see you everynight
just like a star
so beautiful and bright
But so far
You're right next to my heart
Right next to the moon
Once again,
Hope to see you soon

I'm in a deep sleep
and im living my dreams
so dont wake me
i like how everything seems
to be
i dont think you even could
these dreams are reality now
they become real
every time you look at me now
i am blind to everything but this
so i cant leave this world
when everything is right
reality is out of sight
and for my dreams I will fight
so i close my eyes                        and take flight

He was adam
She was eve
A taste of the forbidden fruit
Then he was made to leave

I'll pick up these embers
Of a remnant fire
Left in this world of snow
That no longer remembers
What it feels like to be alive
As they hold a dark glow
Barely clinging to life
I'll pick up these embers
I'll hold them in my palms
I'll let them burn my hands
I'll blow on them softly
Just to keep them from dying
As my fingers go numb
Black from harsh ash
As callices from burning pain
Harden these hands
I'll hold on to the embers
Of a remnant fire
That no one but me remembers

I'm on the edge of a cliff
That at any moment
Could break away
And this entire mountain would fall apart
I can feel the ground start to tremble
As all my options pass through my temple
And this rock slips from the base
I realize any move I make
Will just quicken it's pace
So I stand here on this cliff
Almost as if
There is nothing to fear
Like I'm just standing here
Without a clue just taking in the view
How the sky above has a faint red hue
And on the ground there is still a little dew
The green light as the trees touch the ocean's blue
Looking over everything below
Atleast this view I can enjoy
Before the this rock let's go
And I am no more

I can see the future
i can see where this leads
And pain and regret
is all I see
but if i can ease your pain
even if just for a short while
ill take it all away
i would rather have had the chance
than nothing at all
this is my choice
so let me hold you
even though this ends in me being hurt
let me be your comfort

You are the apple of my eye
My moon and my stars
And our love will never die
cause i love you to the moon and back
like you're the only girl in the world
you're the only one i see
and that's when i get weak in the knee
cause my heart skips a beat
life really isnt fair but
all is fair in love in war
and even though love is blind
it was love at first sight
You had me at hello
with you everything seems right
With you all my problems go away
i think of you all day
I don't know what else I could say
You really are...
every cliche

i ****** up
i made some mistakes
i lost some friends
and did it again
over and over again
until in the end i had no friends

cause the ones still here with me
i call FAMILY

The difference
between family and friends
and its not defined by blood
but by a response
when you make a mistake
and throw them in the mud
family will just say (ily)
friends won't say anything
cause there is where it (ends)

I no longer believe in fate
In destiny
Or anything pre ordained
Because if such a thing existed
If anything was ever meant to be
You would have been meant for me

Usually im fun spontaneous and cool
but when you come around
im no more than a fool
scarred speechless
stumpling over my words
Fear is my motivation
So i try to speak
to say something anything
hello or hi
I try with all my might
every syllable paused by fright
i simply watch you pass by

See I love the thrill
the adrenaline that im feelin in every part of me
How my heart beats fast when I jump off a 100 ft cliff
but with you my opinion suddenly shifts
i see you, my heart beats hard
im suddenly nervous anxious scarred
the sound of my heart beating in my ears
as if i can actually hear my fears
everytime i see you smile when you look a me
a thousands thoughts run through my head
and even more emotions
fear filling me with dread
over thinking everything, like im the girl
my stomach starts to swirl
butterflies at the the simple thought hi's
what do you think of me
i wish i knew
cause i dont know what to do
this something brand new
im confused
whats my move

Usually i know exactly what actions to take
exactly what to say
but this isnt something i can fake
i have this terrible feeling that it might be to late
so focused on making the right move
have i waited to long
or did i do something wrong
when i hinted at something between us
did i lose my opportunity
but then again
doesnt alcohol give me impunity
or do you just look at me with more scrutiny

I told myself i was waiting for the right moment
but i refuse to let the time pass by with giving it a try
this is crazier than anything i have ever darred
telling you how i feel, ive never been so scared
but fear is my favorite emotion
because it only comes around when your near
I swear I tell you everything the next time you appear
Oh no wait
Your here
*run

When i look at the moon
i wonder how it must feel
to be surrounded by so much
nothing but space
surrounded by stars
lights years away
how lonely the moon must be
above a busy city
there are no stars
and the moon is full of craters
it must have so many scars
no one to understand
how much can a star compare to the moon
its easy to see how lonely it is
when at night it is put on display
for everyone to see
but it still shines bright for us
each and every night
sometimes the pain is to much
you only see the moon's might
but never its pain
because thats when its hides behind clouds and rain
such a beautiful being
with such strong feelings
all this it shares with me
as i look at the moon
a sight truly worth seeing

Baby I want you
so come to my room and make it soon
cause its been a while
and i want to make you smile
If you come, i promise
you will be happy for days
and remember it always
if you're not convinced yet
then let me tell you what ill do
As soon as you come in
on my face there will be a big *** grin
First ill give you a kiss
then i will take a pause
and breath down your neck
let you wonder whats next
then i will pull you in close
and lay you in my bed
ill take a moment; stare in your eyes
until your face turns red
as my hand gently falls down your back
and pulls your shirt off
you'll lean back and giggle a little
as i take off mine
ill tell you your beautiful
but in my head its **** your so fine
as i hover over you for moment
and admire your body
right before we get naughty
it the calm before the storm,
and your body feels so warm
i take a breath
then ill take you
ill put you on the floor
have you on all fours
begging for more
and you will feel it
deep in your core
but thats just the beginning
the start of our sinning
so bring that ***
and make it fast
the sooner you get here the longer it last.

Much more tired than I appear
My mind filled with fear
I hate this time of year
Just when the end is near
Finals are finally here

If you were the forbidend fruit
Then you can call me adam
They say seduction is the devil’s playground
So wont you be my play mate
Many say adam made a mistake
But I prefer to think of it as fate
Because sin is my favorite vice
And I don’t listen to any advice
So come indulge in me
And our love will burn forever
In the darkest place
Where only a few will know what we do
Put that devilish grin on my face
As I plunge into your waist
You make my road to Hell
A Heavenly place

**** Twitter
Every time she makes a post
I feel like I'm with her
I know why you retweeted that
Yes I'm still bitter
Thank you I needed that

Sit here studying every tweet
attempting to read between the lines
like its a portal to your mind
140 characters
not enough space to speak my mine
but for you thats probably plenty
if we are being honest
like your feelings for me
you probably dont need any

Unfollow her
dont search her name
to see if she has tweeted
since you last sent a text
just leave it be
**** twitter
your just bitter
of every tweet i see
not one is about me

Even if I get it all the money back
The 2 motorcycles
The new car
The 30 k in mutual funds
Paid my debts off
And made amends
It won't matter at all
Cause by losing you
I lost it all

I'm a gambling man
all or nothing
over and over again
I've lost all I had
only to start over
and pray i get it back
So just know
Im a gambling man
all or nothing
I'm putting my whole life at risk
so spin the wheel
show your hand
flip that 16 as i call for a monkey
holding on to my lucky Keychain necklace
Im taking everything I have
and I'm putting it on you

The day seemed like any other
i thought everything was the same
until you came and passed bye without saying hi
so i walked up to you
and looked you right in the eye
but i was apalled by what i saw
because there was nothing there
like you couldn't see me or didnt even care
so i pressed my lips against your's
expecting us to still be a pair
but you didn't feel a thing
and i felt this heart renching pain
as you walked through my body
like I didn't exist
i watched as you walked away
thinking of what to say
as you walked over to him
i started to scream
i yelled everything that i thought would make you stay
i gave it my all
but you to didn't even twitch
like you couldn't hear my heartfelt call
yelling from the middle of the room
suprised that no one else seemed to notice
i was suddenly forced to face my doom
as i looked back to you with him
i noticed the world was a little dim
right when i saw you kiss
it was at that moment
that i was able to see the truth
see, I didnt even know
but i was a ghost
and i had died long ago

Goodbye to everything
I thought we would be
Goodbye to everything
I thought we were gonna do
Now don't me mistaken
cause I'm not saying goodbye to you
for you will always be part of my heart
So this is just goodbye
to part of me

Goodbye, ciao
so long and see you later.
adios, peace, and deuces
a wave, a hug, or a kiss
so many words or even just silence
there are so many ways to say goodbye
you chose
"we can still be friends"

I am haunted by good dreams
Every night I fall into this beautiful reality
Of a kingdom of you and me
A graceful fallacy
That fills me with malice
Towards my hellish cold alarm
That drags me out of my palace
Steals away my queen. And my crown
No longer am I king of this world
As it let's out the screeching painful sound

And I wake to you not there
Living a real life nightmare

The level of self control I have..
Is ridiculous
Like I am sick of it
I don't want to admit it
But the **** I do is dumb as ****
I keep doing the same thing
Over and over again
Like it's gonna be different
When am I gonna get a grip of it
and be bigger than it
And admit that I'm not bigger than it
I got to admit it has control of me
And I can't be me until
I let it be me none of me
Cause it's controlling me
Where I go,  what I do
And what I say and what im gonna be
If I want to change
It's about I start doing **** differently

And it all starts with me

where am i
are you here with me
or did you say goodbye
as quickly as you said hi

Im holding on
I won't let go
But its a heavy rope
and I'm losing hope
Because as it slowly falls through my fingers;
I lose my grip
And my feet suddenly slip.

Everyone is here for the party
but when it comes time for the holidays
no one stays
they are all at their real home
and I'm left at home alone

I curse this iron Hope i have
That ties me to you
Like an iron rope,
That forces me to chase you
It has taken hold of me
and it wont let go of me
So I cant let go of you

I have every reason to forget you
But there is no reasoning with a heart
So every time I see you
I feel like this could be the start
I know its cant be true
but still I Hope
When I know there is no Hope

Even after all the lies
All the painful sighs
I still act suprised
To see my happines denied
Because my hope never dies

This Hope is so cruel
No matter how hard i try
No matter how many times i cry
I am still a fool
Still chasing after you

I am cursed by this idea
and the feelings it brings
forced to chase
what i know i can't have
these feeling are the worse
so i curse this Hope
Because,
This Hope is my curse

I'm a hopeless romantic
Because I'm in love
And I would do absolutely anything
Absolutely anything

But there is nothint I can do
There's no hope
I'm just romantic

with you i feel like super man
like i am just the ******* man
when you kiss me i get so high
everything you do makes me smile
basically you make me fly
and i stay up there for a while
much longer than just a few hours
im up there for weeks
like you gave me some sort of super powers
and you are my only weakness
you give me weak knees
but even though my knees buckle and i drop
you take me to the top
cause when you fall in love
you fall up
and everthying keeping you down you rise above
you bring out the best in me
in short
when your around i'm a better me
so i guess i must confess
that with out you i am much less
you inspire me to be more
now imagine standing on the shore
starring at the ocean
and compare what you see
to the vastness of my emotion

Of all the mistakes I've ever made
Many of which changed my life

Like the time I went to jail
Caught an embezzlement charge
Criminal at large
For stealing cd's at the age of 17
Only to grow up to be an accountant
Have every employer doubting

Or the time I decided not go see my God mom
Said I had plans but that was a lie
Only a week later did she die
And it's at her grave I'm trying to say goodbye

OR when I started gambling
And nearly ruined my whole life
Lost all I had and more
Even my father's ring

Of all those things
If there was one i could change
I would go back to that moment
I messed up thing up between you and me
And instead go with plan B
Just for the chance
Just for the possibility
That you could have ended up with me

If I could make you believe
That I'm okay
After watching you leave
And didn't want you to stay

If I could make you believe
That I didn't want you back
That I didn't greave
And my chest wasn't under attack

If I could make you believe
That I'm not in pain
My thought you don't interweave
And alone I wish to remain

If I could make you believe
That your not what I want
And there nothing I wish to retrieve
Then I'll be blunt

If could make you believe
That I'm not completely in love
Then I may not be the best poet alive
Because that did not rhyme
But I would be the best liar of all time

Took you for a walk
Stroll through the park
with thoughts of romantic talk
i thought of all the posibility
how you might start to really see me
i could picture your happy face
looking into my eyes
a loving gaze
the ultimate prize
that's how it was suppose to be
but it happened quite differently
you see it was just a fantacy
cause you didnt smile once
you kept your distance
had a straight face
even walked at seperate pace
there were fire works
what a suprise
but you didnt even look
and as you walked away
i caught another case
of that heartbreaking cold
it was probalby my fault
my hopes were too bold
you had a good hand
so i look at mine and fold
your hand i will never hold

I love my life

yesterday
in bed i laid
with my best friend's sister
just one of the mistakes i have made

I love my life

I fell in love with my best friend
and maybe i will be until the very end
but even though it may never be returned
at least this much i have earned

I love my life

Geraldean
kindness in a world so mean
My godmother
has now joined my father
she went to heaven
days before i could give her the best news she has ever heard
as they fly across the sky
i cry everytime i see a bird

I love my life

In a world full of bad
and things that make us sad or mad
no matter what
there is something to be had

I love my life

Once so close,
Then a crack,
one small step,
and then a gap,
I had to jump,
but it got bigger,
I built a bridge,
that was unbreakable
fell to the ground,
im doing the unthinkable,
so dont lose hope,
and dont look down,
cant believe what im about to do
I'm growing wings and flying back to you

I asked you to wait so long
To come to a place
That clearly you belong
And right in your face
I made you wait
And now I'm here, ready
But you're sad cause I'm to late?
But I'm here, ready
if your sad that I'm too late
I'm confused cause I'm here, ready
you're the one now who's decides our fate
you decide if its too late
and that makes you sad
So i ask again.
Am I too late?


Cause I'm here, ready.

Told you im over it
But i can still feel it my stomach
Like a punch in the gut
You hit me hard
But i didnt bruise
I scarred
You left a permanent mark
That wont easily go away
But i look at you and smile
Your so beautiful
Even though i feel pitiful
I act as is im happy
Couldnt tell you how ****** i feel
So i dont
I hold it in
Deal with it myself
I act like i'm over it
because as far as you know
I'm over it

Compared to the night sky
Above a busy city
You are the northern lights

Compared to a fish in a pond
You are a dolphin
Swimming in the ocean

Compared to the freezing rain
You are the warm sun
Rising on the beach shore

Compared to rush hour traffic
You are roadtrip down a winding road
Speeding on a motorcycle

Compared to a want
You are a need

Compared to having a crush
This is love

I don't express myself
Except for here
Where i put everything
Only to fall on deaf ears
Words written on paper
That no one hears
You'll never never know
Sums up all my fears
Inside the storm rages
But its all here
Written
inside these pages

I see you
watching me closely
hanging on the texts i type
cause god know we don't talk
at least not often

I know i could make you happy
I know i seem like everything you want in life
and maybe you have even imagined being my wife
though you wouldnt admit to something so sappy

Im sorry
thats all i can say
but not to you cause then we would both have to acknowledge it
what we both saw but knew are selves too well to pursue
but i guess then again
i always did encouraged you to try something new

but still im sorry
everything i did may have seemed like folly
but know everything you know is probably half true
if even at all
its cause i care for you as a friend
that i decided to save you from the me you would hate
it always ends bad
and thats why i dont date

Just know I see you
i see your pain
i know you think your insane
you think your feelings are in vain
and that i'm a little vain
just know not everything you see is true
cause maybe not as much as you would like
but i do think of you

I thought you were like me
I thought you understood
I thought i could talk free
I thought i could confide
I thought you would respect me
I thought you would know how i am
I thought you would believe me
I thought not the rumors
always thought this world was full of humors
see i heard from a bird
that you were the source of the word
so after
I thought i found you after so long
it seems
i thought wrong

I tried to write a poem
To express how I feel
But there is no order of words
That could properly illustrate what
I so deeply wish to say
No rhyme scheme
Could make it more meaningful
No gracefully placed word
That is in just the right spot
Could compare your beauty to anything in this world
So my deepest fear
Is that you will never understand
How I feel

I was never a poet
until i looked into your eyes
and saw the sun rise.

If i could make you happy i would
If i could make your pain go away i would
if i had to give you my happiness and take on your pain i would
i would gladly make that trade
and it would be the best decision i have ever made

Get the **** out off my mind
Seriously I'm so done with wanting you
I don't want this yearning
I'm tired of my stomach churning
I run away when I see you
Is that not enough of a clue
But you're always ******* there
No mater where I go
Theres no escape
No matter where I go
I can't you get you out my head
No place is safe
Not even my own ******* bed
Because even there when I'm trying to sleep
You torment me in my dreams
I wake up in screams
Can't you just leave me alone
Or atleast not be there the next time I come home
Go, get out,
LEAVE

Let's take a hike
let's go on a journey for life
no car or bike
this journey ends in you being my wife

I know you have a lot of baggage
but its good that your prepared
so of the mountain dont be scared
If your load is too heavy
then your load i will carry
put it on my shoulders
just think of them
as your pain holders

and when your baggage starts to hold us back
as our connection grows older
we will take a peak in your pack
and take out all the boulders
everything that no longer matters
ill take all away
ill even remove his dagger
from where he stabbed you in the back

sometimes we will go left
cause not everything is right
this mountain is tall
sometimes we will have to fight
Its an uphill battle
and the journey is long
you will feel tired and weak
but i will keep you strong

Remember this is a hike
and we're climbing by foot
there's only one rule
don't stay put

This is a journey for life
that ends in you being my wife
so get your baggage
bring what ever you like
and whenever your ready
let's take a hike

i know more people than i ever have before
but im more alone than i've ever been in my life
these people dont know how i feel
so i question if its real
do they know who i really am
how could they if everything i feel is hidden inside
how can i expect them to trust me and stand by my side if even my thoughts i hide
it must be like staring at an empty sky
when it seems like nothing is there
but that's not quite fair cause its filled with air
something we need to survive
and i know there's wind at least that i can feel against my hair
just cause you dont see anything
and looks to be bare
that doesnt mean nothing is there
and thats my pain
my loneliness and fear
and no matter calm i appear
this empty feeling is always here
even when surrounded by the masses
i feel no different as every interaction passes
i feel as alone as man who lost his mother and his brother
his father and his daughter
this is the loneliest feeling of my life
and after all that
i feel like a man who even lost his wife

I'm a lone wolf
not because im alone
there are just things
i have to do on my own
the mistakes i have made are mine
there is no one else to blame
and theres no one that can help me
even if thier mistakes are the same
I cant fix the past
but i can change the future
i know what i need to do
to get where i need to go
i climb the mountain every afternoon
i look the sky and dream
as i howl at the moon

I listened
As you tried to explain
How you looked at the moon
The beauty it holds the night
How it consoles you
And holds you in its light
As you stare only to know
That will never be able to go
How you felt sorry for the wolf
Cause you understood it's howl
Yearning for the moon
Wondering how life could be so foul
To put something so magical in sight
But simply out of reach
I watched you as you looked up in the sky
As the moon illuminated what was falling from your eye
You think I don't understand
But what you don't know is
I am not a man
And you are not a woman
I'm the wolf
And you're the moon

Im on a journey
A lifelong search
Search for a place
Where i can find
What matters most
that I lost through time
the origin of Beauty
And pure Love
The source of music
Such Incredible Music
The sound of her voice
But I cant find it one my own
In fear that I am alone
to this search i am bound
i will forever seek
the Lost and Found