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Apr 2015 · 455
The Light
Derek Sumner Apr 2015
Light is returning,
to my mental sky,
Light is returning,
as with the sun.
The storm is passing,
my mind is lightening.
The burden will never be gone,
but it is lessening.
The sun is shining,
and for once I smile.
The warmth spreads to my feet,
it soothes my soul,
as it hasn't in months.
Call me crazy,
call me high,
neither am I,
I'm just happy.
Happy for the light.
Happy for them.
Happy for those I call my family.
Happy for my family of friends.
This is a poem I write as my seasonal depression is on its way out.  Please, remember seasonal depression is still a serious issue and should be addressed as such.
Apr 2015 · 336
Sorry
Derek Sumner Apr 2015
I’m sorry.

I’m sorry all I can do is sit around playing love songs on guitar.

I’m sorry all I do is waste away.

I’m sorry i want to be too drunk or high to know whats going on all the time.

I’m sorry my existence is one of love and hate.

I’m sorry that I have hurt you, all of you.  

I’m sorry I can’t make up my mind between you three.

I’m sorry that I make it ******* you three.

I’m sorry for relying on you to keep me alive.

I’m sorry that you might cry reading this.

I’m sorry that I always want to die.

This isn’t how it should be.

Maybe in another life.

Maybe then.

Maybe we can love like we were meant to.

Maybe it won’t happen.

Maybe he won’t take you away.

Maybe you won’t pick him over me.

Maybe you won’t run from me.

Maybe.

But knowing my luck, then I’ll be the one to choose.

Between all of you.

My lifeholders.

My loves.
Mar 2015 · 392
Choice
Derek Sumner Mar 2015
Why'd she do it,
why'd she choose?
The exact same,
as the one who came before?
Why'd she choose,
the other ?
Not me,
no never.
Not me,
not ever.
Always the other.
The better.
Cause everyone is better
than little old Derek.
Mar 2015 · 395
Pills
Derek Sumner Mar 2015
I have a bottle of pills,

itd be easy as pie,

to slip too many,

into my mouth,

and slip into void.

What's stopping me?

I don't know.

Maybe I will.  Maybe I wont.

Tomorrow will tell the story.
This is me every night.  I suffer from seasonal depression and bipolar disorder, plus this year has been really hard to get through.  These are my thoughts every night.  This is not a cry for attention or anything, I just think its wrong that a teenager is thinking this instead of about college or the rest of my life like they used to.
Feb 2015 · 386
Flint and Flame
Derek Sumner Feb 2015
I am a spark,
I ignite a flame,
The flame of thought,
Which is needed so dearly,
But these days are grim,
hardly a coal in sight,
For many I try to light,
are made of damp straw.
Feb 2015 · 399
Outside
Derek Sumner Feb 2015
I'm outside,
Away from you,
Staying here,
Unable to move.
"She hates you,"
Whispers the rain,
"I know,"
I murmur back.
When will the sun shine?
Why does the world fight me?
All I want is her.
Feb 2015 · 298
Untitled
Derek Sumner Feb 2015
From the highest high,
to the lowest low,
you follow me loyally,
but I don't know where to go.
Feb 2015 · 675
Pirate's Coffee
Derek Sumner Feb 2015
I had pirates coffee, you see.
Pirates coffee, it really suits me.
Wake up tired beyond belief,
chug some, oh what a relief.
Pirates coffee, 70 proof in nature,
But I'm fine, I'd really wager.
Cause of this wonderful drink,
She is beautiful, its not gone in a blink.
I'd really love to stay this way,
But as you can see, I can't, okay?
Jan 2015 · 418
Repetition
Derek Sumner Jan 2015
Repetition
Will be the death of me.
I can't do the same song and dance
more than once or twice.
But with you, it doesn't repeat.
With you, it won't replay.
With you, all of it is different.
Familiar yet different.
And I like it.
Jan 2015 · 551
Moonlight
Derek Sumner Jan 2015
You are the sun,
as I am the moon,
You shine bright for all to see,
And my light is just like your mirror.
Yet loyally, I'll shine on.
Jan 2015 · 1.4k
Whimsy
Derek Sumner Jan 2015
Laughing faces and crude jokes.
Required speeches delivered with ease.
A class dedicated to speaking,
We're the best of the best.
Whimsy being throw around,
left and right.
Nonsensical characters, to a tee,
Accents mimicked flawlessly.
Goodbye for now, oh classmates of mine,
our semester was nice, but alas, its over.
Jan 2015 · 621
The Cat
Derek Sumner Jan 2015
Much like a cat, I'm tricky and sly,
What a sight to see, my oh my.
My nine lives hold true, for all to see,
I've died two times, yet look at me.
Here before, standing tall and true,
Cross me once, that day you shall rue.
I can pick myself up a countless number of times,
And keep fighting back, your back I shall find.
Find with my knife, so you really shouldn't test it,
Or you may die, your body in a deep pit.
The Cheshire cat smile I have perfected,
His sneaky acts, yet I have corrected.
Corrected them yes, made them my own,
So whats yours is mine, just out on a loan.
Jan 2015 · 280
Second Hand Love
Derek Sumner Jan 2015
Your love is a cigarette,
Your heart has the lighter,
You give it away,
Not to any poor unfortunate soul,
But to the ones who interest you.
The ones who make you laugh,
The ones who make you cry,
Or, like my, the ones who simply make you think.
The thing is, I can't take a drag of your love,
Oh no.  
Its his to hit, not mine to hold.
Why can't we pass it round,
Share in your glory,
Your love is a drug,
That I am much addicted.
But he holds you close, I only get you second,
Maybe a snuck drag here and there,
But he always knows, yet doesn't care.
Too bad the world does,
And the world says no smoking.
Jan 2015 · 5.2k
The Finale
Derek Sumner Jan 2015
A semester of struggle,
Torture and fear,
The grades are in,
Their finally here.
Relationships on hold,
as we prance around,
try to salvage,
what we let down.
Kids will do anything,
just to pass the quota,
Except for me,
I just play Dota.
I procrastinate a lot. >.>
Jan 2015 · 370
Celestial Love
Derek Sumner Jan 2015
I stare into the sky,
the same sky as you.
remembering that fateful night,
one I could never rue.
That night of our kiss,
the one under the stars.
The stars in your room,
finally letting me see past the bars.
The bars of my cage,
the bars of my house.
That kiss of life,
that kiss of passion.
Our lips locked tight,
our minds beyond ration.
I hold it dear,
I hold it close.
Many more to come,
to that I will toast.

— The End —