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Delilah Summers Jul 2014
Colliding stars and exploding galaxies are nowhere near comparable to the way I felt when your fingers traced my skin with such love and emotion, stripping me down to my most vulnerable and naked version of my soul.
You're my muse
My missing piece
The poison in my blood that drives me to push harder
The peace within my thoughts and desires
The love I have never imagined to be so real
You're everything I have ever dreamt of and everything I will ever want no matter where we are or what we are doing because I know that I could never fake another love or another smile.
I crave you so much, my soul aches when you're not around. I wait for the day I get to look at you the same way again in full honesty and comfort because you were never anything but my saviour.
All of this is put in three simple words that do not do my feelings any justice.
All I ever wanted to do was find the right and perfect way to tell you that I love you. And I always will.
Delilah Summers Jul 2014
This is a little appreciation that's nowhere near how much you deserve for what you've given up of your life to give us a life.
Everyone talks about birth being the most painful thing in the world, and even though I have never experienced such pain, I know for a fact that there are pains more harsh and harmful than this. The pain of a man you thought would love you forever to criticize you and make you feel like you are less than the queen that you are. He tells you that you were nothing without him when everything he is, is a product of the time you have invested in him and his long and your lonely nights.
I have dreamt of you leaving so many times, finally a caged butterfly set free to finally live the life that she deserves, but I realized that us, your kids, are the ones caging you. As much as I would love to see you be free it pains me because I know that there would be no way for me to show you that the time you invested in me has become a product of something you can be proud of. I am proud of how strong and beautiful you are after all these years of sadness, suffering, and lack of appreciation. You live with a family that you believe to be selfish, and we are, but all the times I thought of leaving and never coming back, I cry at the thought of never seeing you again or letting you down. I love you more than I could show, and so much less than you deserve.
What I'm really trying to say is, everything good that I am, is all because of you.
She will always be my hero
Delilah Summers Jul 2014
Have you felt so alone and out of place that the voices in your head don't know what to torture you with anymore?
You don't love anything
You can't feel anything
You won't let anything in
It's complete silence and you never seem to breakthrough any of it.
People tell you that you need to find something as a continuation.
An "after" to all my sad poetry
A higher pitch to my sad low singing voice
Happiness again in running around in my room singing and dancing to my favourite song.
The loneliness has scared me so much, it seems comforting now because at least it gives me something to feel.
something about feeling sad has me excited
  Jun 2014 Delilah Summers
Still Crazy
The Whys of My Briefcase

don't know where you keep yours,
mine, immediately resigned,
to my black briefcase

the bills I cannot pay,
the notices that I knew
would unfailingly come some day,
the letters to my children,
signed, sealed but never to be
delivered till much later, maybe,
by someone else's hand

and so,
I carry my briefcase
every day,
an appendage human,
opens only for additions,
never any subtractions,
many reminders included,
for letters previous posted, sent,
and stamped~marked
past, way past, overdue

the authorities demand satisfaction,
at the very least they want my
whereabouts

the doctors asks,
what's wrong,
you never filled that essential
prescription~poem I wrote for you,
that was even writ legible
so you could not deny its
existing urgency

that **** briefcase is so heavy,
tempted to chuck it into the Peconic,
but it was a loving gift from her,
not realizing that I carried no case,
just so burdens invisible
were imagined lighter, or extinct,
but easily ignored

where do you keep yours?

the forget~me~knots that you
don't want but can't crush
legally or courageously

when they open that unhappy pandora,
they will wonder why nothing was e'er said,
but they won't ask twice, but understand,
for who among us
does not have a black briefcase?
a true story...once upon a time when on the edge of edges,
I opened it and dealt with every one of its contents,
I felt relieved,  and was ready to re-live
in another shape unknown
Delilah Summers Jun 2014
She's the type of girl that isn't single for too long.
She loves the way she has learned to love, hoping one day she'll find someone who has loved as much as she has.
She'll doll herself up, date 5 boys, pick one, and decide that she will love him.
She doesn't feel anything, she waits for the day when she's so predictable that she ceases to exist, but the sad part is that she only fell out of love 2 days ago.
I'm just a little heartbroken
Delilah Summers Jun 2014
Rhythm is what brings my senses back to life.
Heart beats
Tapping pens
Clicking of shoes

But somehow I was lost in all of it when heart beats turned into a cry for life and emotion
Tapping pens became my desperation to think of something to say when nothing could be said
And the clicking of shoes is the sound of me walking away from everything I thought would make me happy.

So let's all raise our glasses for new rhythms
New beginnings
More endings
Better heart breaks
And more pathetic lies to tell ourselves
This doesn't say much but encompasses everything I believe to be true about my life.
Delilah Summers Jun 2014
All the feelings I thought I had for you seemed to disappear faster than my will power to fight for you.
Being doubted is nothing but a selfish way for you to push me away and test my patience but it has never done you any good has it?
I'm forever gone and you never existed nor changed a thing in my life because when you left all I said was
"It could have been worse right?" And went back to loving myself more than anyone or anything in the world.
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