She passed by the gloom light
She is there seeing people after people
Try escaping the reality but never did
Nobody cares, nobody ever would
Nobody ever try looking through her
And she just another girl that's invisible.

Antara dua jalan buntu
Penentuan hati dan minda sekeras batu
Ku menerka ini hanya mainan perasaan
Persis jiwa-jiwa yang hiba kekosongan

Larilah wahai nafsu
Carilah serangkap wahyu
Cantaslah pucuk cemburu
Kerna manusia semakin layu
Lenturnya segenggam iman
Toksik meracuni setiap teman
Doalah waktu masih memberi ruang
Mewarnai tiap hitam putih perjalanan

Telan segala perit mencari abdi
Tiada yang kekal apatah lagi kendiri
Senyuman kekal menjadi sedekah amalan
Tuhan Maha Pengampun, manusia dahagakan amalan.

There is no exist regret
I believe this is not the end yet
Thank you dear ego
You win again ever since 22 years ago.

Her thoughts dangling everywhere
Thinking, wandering, whinning
And it seems she won't lose
If she never tried different voices.

Now it's your lost dear
Who else to tell, who else to hear
Fighting over the fine line near the border
Again, shouldn't be regret over wasted tears.

I once created you for her dignity
Now you growing stronger over her pride
I still shall not trying to get rid of you
You worth there saving her from falling apart.

Is this a fight over yourself?
Is this a lost over somebody worth a lifetime?
The feeling remains dormant
Quiscent till it is open by the fate written.

There there, little soul
Blaze with fire, harvest the cold
Under the shade of canopy
Shadowing overgrown trees.

Dandelion smiles
Roses flies
Daffodil cries
Peony arrives

A billion conscience neurons
Meandered through the sulci and gyri
A brilliant universe of all
The vast freedom of human mind.

Middle of nowhere, I am still standing
Layers of faded mountains, across the withering cloud-gazing
Tell myself I was wrong, the light sky almost gone
Blocks of buildings, relinquish all the shades
North, South, East, West; tell them it was haul fate.

If creeks sound as scary, it would rings no more fury
Let the memories knock on your magnetic parietal door
Speak of colors of vividness, occasional emptiness
Cherry-blossoms feeling gone, yellow Autumn looks as fine.

Every light, turn on the fight
People jump over the stepping river by the mountainside
Greet, kindness will never ceased.

26th September 2016 - Kyoto, Japan
Amiera Sh.

Have you ever heard of aura?
Where they mistakenly understood it's something great that people just admire you
When the truth is it's just a condition, symptom or abnormal feeling
Where you feel it, it's been like in a dream, an insidious lucid dream
The hallucination before the black out, while living the bitter reality.

And sometimes you feel like you want to be part of it
To forget the real world, be in there, like euphoria
Without association to drugs or depression or as what is bad
Just you, and your alone time, catching dream, sail away and drown into your own feeling.

Believe me, that's one way you might need to find serenity.

Stuck in between two unequal perspectives, I take a slight turn behind. The light trail was obvious. Straight heading towards something so calm and embrace. Along the path, abundant of beautifully bloom lilies and daisies grew on small green bushes with butterflies flew along. The smell, was breezy and soothing. And it probably was the nostalgic moment someone could ever felt. And turned back into reality. It’s once a dream you thought you could never achieved. And those light trails getting bigger shine through as you walked by. The shadow following you is getting smaller and everything seems so full of determination and pride. You realized, there’s trees growing higher, high as one of your goal trying to reach the sky. And it make a canopy, for you to shade under when the sun shining too bright that it sweats all over your journey of willful heart. Smile, standing over the decision who no one ever thought you could make. Belief, you are stronger than the concrete heart of yours which love was absence for years. This is a long life journey, you need to walk by two feet, regardless the existence of people, trying to mask the perspectives and decisions of your lifetime.

A sip of nice hot chocolate, with your favourite cookies
I begin crawling and curling in bed again
That fine line between sweet nostalgia and bitter memories
Haunted to every lobes, sulcus and gyrus of the brain.

Stop and ponder, deep to superficial thoughts
I'm still amaze that I would care so much about you dear self
If happened to be I'm deserved to be care and loved
I wonder would you be the one who saving me from this mess.

A trace of lip gloss and mascara swipe off
This ain't the beauty we ever spoke off
But living around the community of physically enlighten
Emotions keep aside and off the trail to the blunt end.

This murmurs of the heart sound galloping
Nothing heard as if for you it has stop beating
Resuscitate myself back again
With the power of Your love and wash away this doubtful pain.

There goes another chance blew away
When words going astray
Left unspoken
Hope what's in heart never break apart.

What the truth speak
What the liars did
Honesty kills
Another games of spinning wheel.

When everything were merely bitter
Who knows the smile hide the thousand tears
The unpredictable prayer goes for the better
Just another curtain of life of hers.

The smirky smile,
Stay, *yours truly.

I plucked a yellow thought, unintentionally bloomed out of my mind and molded into a congealing paper crane. A single thought to believe that it would ethereal fly, for that was just a sanguine moment, it couldn't last even in swift while. Impossible, yes, but I'm possible.

Who am I again
Crawling through unexpected obstacles
Trying to escape the bitter reality
Living in the world of nostalgia and melancholy.

Will you stare at the mirror
See through someone you never want to know?
Will you stand over the decision
That you never thought you will win?

And again no one will listen
No one to share
I'm here praying to only You
I will handle myself with care.

Who speak about trust
When it's just a word lose over a lust
Who speak about love
When you know it's nothing like a story of two doves.

This is the reality
This is just a dream
And exist the *'You and I'
A final hope to try
When the right time comes by.

The blindness in despair
The sorrow hidden from the heir
She threw herself in the outcast
She sought for something beyond the solace

Idealism is her weakness
Idealism is her strength
Idealism is the driven force
Idealism is the stepping stone
Idealism is for the optimist
Dream on, an idealist.

God, we speak about serenity
To You everyone remains sane
Love all the trouble we have sinned
For the allure and grace begin.

Meandered through every fissure of the brain
Thoughts gone haywire
God, I believe you test me big time
May You fed this soul with beautiful rhyme.

This heart of mine is not a toy
No, dear do not fall for boys
You were surrounded with thorns
Safe, secured, in hope all these by gone.

We ******* up
We messed up
We tear apart
We break a heart.

This will end soon
Night replacing the noon
Day goes on and on
And for all the chances left
All I hope to bless this mess.

Like the rain drizzling from the sky, comes the missiles and rockets straight to the city of innocent. While you hear the children crying, man shouting, woman begging, nothing left to begin with.

When you miss
Everytime night turns darker
Gloomy soul and uncertain heart
Trying to fix the shattered pieces into one.

Connecting all the dots
Over thinking, tiring mind
Regrets and sadness shall leave
There always room for believe.

Happy and smile degraded
Where you’ve been missing dear?
Only if anyone, anyone ever understand
That I’ve been living better and able to stand.

Love, I still couldn’t find you.
But I’m sure you’re the most I need to go this through.

She's becoming wispy
Over things making her witty
Till the root hold her strong
Stand still the unshaken trunk.

While the wordplay games are vague
Searching for the unintended luck
God, help her grasp while she's trying to dive
As she behold the blue-sky thinking on the meaning of life.

Yellow sunshine of the heart beats
The good morning vibe trying to speak
The flowers blooming, never want to wilt
It's a spiritual journey of the soul being preached.

Fragments gathered
Puzzle of life bewildered
Disconnected from reality
Idle, quiescent, creating a legacy.

Happiness comes from within
May people find their ways to blend in.

As she lay her head wide awake
Stare over the wall of craves
Cliche little wallflower
Trying to climb up the Paris tower

The alternate unkempt and austere manner
Tell-tale sign she will dissappear
Her mind lost in Northern Hemisphere
What a wise, savant meanderer.

It was utterly vague and vast

How the sky mesmerize the night

Dim light of words and suffice 

She unsure of anything to sacrifice.

It was the only star shining brightly
Whom to tell when she cried vividly
The smile is worthless yet uncanny

It still a mysterious spotlight hidden under the canopy.

Call for the all it is worth of every lullaby

Sing to her the song of another mid-July

All the roads she could partake in

All the loves she had lost and found from within.

Holding the root through the palm

Not the tree but withhold with her arm

Say that she couldn’t be loved

That because she flawed in every curves.

Aloof is not a worthless feeling

Another paradox from isolation of fitting in.

I believe everything written with bless
For You the only One who never left
Never let the hidden part of yourself
Sunk under what people said the best.

You give me those feeling of love
Whenever I go through You
You give me those feeling of miss
Whenever I thought of You
You give me those feeling of happiness
Whenever I spoke about You.

Just a clean white love
Just the plain blank paper
Just an empty black space
And when the day comes
Let us fill it with light and beautiful sight.

There is an eunoia state of the mind, I will always dream of being. A peaceful soul within myself, who would stop questioning everything that ever happened, the why and how. But it was a long time ago. A long time before everything seems less complicated. I realized, it is okay to be melancholic once in a while. It is fine for the people or yourself to be an overly sanguine. Live for the moment. If you see anyone who would get angry over things you are done, accept it for your better self, the things that we want to convey but it would be hard for letting ignorant engulfed you. Sorry is the minimal word to be given to anyone who might want or not wanting to hear it. A deep conscience, connecting all of our neurons trying to understand the every minute of life, since we were born pure out of the mother’s womb to the growing bones and flawed skin we carry within. I still hope, the eternal exist. Eternally living, the dreams you ever thought of.

Everything seems farsighted
Yet something feels very near
As the heart beats for nothing
To only You we never lose faith.

Far beyond the plain vast sky
Hidden hope scattered wide and wild
So many friends, so many lovers
So many human, so many believers.

May You give the strength for the heart
May You cherish the beauty of the mind
May You restore the confidence in the body
May everything in balance, for someone to be called a human.

These days I feel lonely

Surrounded by the wrong company

They have their life and I have mine

But probably this is just the way He remind.

May I grow better

May I always be a learner

May smile never fade

May I put everything in faith.

The fake happiness
The fake kindness
Let yourself being used
Let the people believe you're the fool

Where is myself?
Lost in the surreal people
Where is myself?
Bind to the bitter judgements

I want to run
I wan to escape
I want to feel the sun
Shine happily above me again

What is love?
Where is the love?
Why it's so hard to leave?
Why it's so hard to breath?

And you always realized it
After all, you're still a girl
Weak and fragile
Broken and sometimes, shattered.

What a painful reality. People being absurd, trying to leave the manifest universe, chasing after dreams and success that at times they forget to take a step behind the ladders that might tremble, too shaken over the false beliefs. If we do it slow, look out every possibility in the vast sky, to know which to pluck first, pluck later or never pluck the fruit of ideas, life will be a little less messy. Sometimes, the best is not to wonder too much, let yourself breath, and the whole universe with the faith of prayers to God will follow you living the way He had beautifully wrote.

The ending began as how the beginning end,
Similar to how the leaves leave the peculiar branch,
Lines curled in, circles straightened up,
Words being swallowed, truth voices out.

How did the pine turn into juniper,
When honey refuse to ripe into gold,
Would he welcome her, though miss distrust mister,
Like how many wish We become One, One becomes All.

Daffodil blew the dance, scattered the pollen away,
Learn its grace, articulate manner in gentle lay,
Breath, as the forest begins to bloom,
Exhale, as the feeling euphorically doom.