Observe now, as all the audience departs,
The stifled effect upon the guarded parts,
The deep recessed regions of the heart,
That regretfully pull past actions apart.

But where now lies the ashes of the fire,
That burned so bright and so did inspire,
Whose passion did so prematurely retire,
For lack of an essential it did so require.

So, I say to Love, "If I take thee in,"
Will you remain as fair as you've always been?
Or will I long for the days of you way back when?
Might your passion never be felt again?
Could you transpose, to my chagrin?
And if it be so, my Love,...well then,
I'd be a fool to take thee in.

Where , oh where, just have you been?
I check everyday just to see.
If you found some inspiration,
That you wouldn't mind sharing with me.
The words, they used to come like rain,
Sometimes too quick to recall,
But lately, it's been such a struggle,
To write anything worthy at all.
And so I check for something of yours,
Which has always saved the day,
Could you help start a landslide friend,
So I could find something to say?

I suffer a certain sort of death,
With the loss of you and I,
The same as a falling star does,
After shooting across the sky.
Gone in a very short instant,
Disappearing from all view,
Unsure if it was really there,
The way that shadows do.
But the hole thats left behind,
Is infinite or so it seems,
And everything is jumbled,
Just like disturbing dreams.
Surrounded by so many,
Yet, still I'm the only one.
I just wasn't prepared for,
The setting of our sun.

I have often wondered the purpose,
Of the people which I've met.
Why there are some I can barely remember,
And some I can't forget.
Perhaps it's God himself at work,
By way of these, to plant a seed,
A seed that will grow strong enough,
To meet another's need.
No matter how short the span we had,
No matter how small my part,
Could it be I held a purpose for,
The occasion of your heart?
Were you meant to be my teacher,
Of the lesson so well-taught,
When you seek the truth and find it,
It won't ever be forgot.
And who am I to question,
Just why things have to be,
Or what lies in another's soul,
That stops it being free?
But I will share what I do know,
Whether we rise or fall,
We can be sure that *time and chance,
Will happen to us all.

And there is an art to everything,
To be learned if not but known.
A way to find positive purpose,
In every negative that is thrown.
We've only but a breath to bargain with,
So know then thyself today.
Take what's been handed, use what you can,
And then toss the rest away.

Will my final act be finished,
Or interrupted premature?
Will my soul ever reach fruition,
And just how can I be sure?

That all my tasks will be completed,
Before death claims my last?,
That every action's been performed,
Before my time has passed?

That every lesson has been learned,
That every due tear's been shed?
That every purpose that I hold,
Has been done before I'm dead?

That every seed has been planted,
And every harvest has been sown?
That every "thank you" has been spoken,
To the inspiring souls I've known?

That every word has been written,
That every wrong has been made right?
That I've become all I was meant to be,
Before I lose this mortal fight?

Will my final act be finished,
Or interrupted premature?
Will my soul ever reach fruition,
Just how can I be sure?

Where did I lose it?
Somewhere between "Hello" and "I love you!"
Will I ever find it?
Because for a time I really thought it was true.

Did I pull too hard?
I have a tendency to hold things way too tight.
Did I push it away?
When things seem right, I retreat out of fright.

Does it really matter?
For there is absolutely nowhere to go from here.
So what do I do now?
The only thing I can do is say, "Goodbye, my dear."

You do not read my poetry.
Though it lay open before you as all the springtimes flowers.
     To pick just 'fore its prime.

It holds the very heart of me.
And even just one breath of it, would multiply the hours,
If you just but took the time.

Oh! Dear Sun! Dear friend of mine,
With your infinite healing powers,
You've warmed my whole,
Relaxed my soul,
Through the endless trying hours.

Granted strength within a promise,
And enlightened all visions seen,
Helped me cope,
Brought me hope,
Of a life like you....serene.

And you are there, despite the storm,
To gift a lesser shade of black,
With just a hint,
When I am spent,
You can bring my spirit back.

Under your pardon, I've often laid,
Surrendered, naked, and new.
I dare to dream,
With every beam,
Of a love that's just like you.

Do I love him?
I am beginning to doubt.
He was all I ever wanted.
But now I just want out!

Will the nighttime greet me,
With more dreams of you?
Will my heart remind me of,
Our days that were so few?
Will my tears offer any solace,
Or just cause more to flow?
Will I ever find the reason,
Or accept I can not know?
Will time fade the memories,
Fond ones that we shared?
Will my soul ever get over,
The fact you never cared?

Well, it appears he is not coming,
Even a smile can't hide the hurt,
People are staring, and  I feel so silly,
In my "Looking for Trouble?" shirt.

The Arrival's Lounge is empty,
Which caused another pang in my chest,
I really believed that he was different.
But he is just like all the rest.

And I really needed to be alone,
So I found the nearest hiding place,
And in a stall in the ladies bathroom,
Silent tears rolled down my face.

And after a time my eyes went dry,
Though the pain remained inside,
How could the sun be shining bright,
When all my dreams had died?

And as if, in a fog, I ambled outside,
Feet moving without even a care,
For some reason towards a shade tree,
Which had somebody resting there.

And I stopped to sit for just a while,
On the opposite side of that tree,
Wishing the one I'd been waiting on,
Was sitting right next to me.

Your nothing's always good enough,
But my all just won't suffice.
Once you were a gift to me,
Now I'm your sacrifice.
Yet still I keep on loving you,
Despite inflicted pain,
Believing that maybe my every loss,
Might be your only gain.
That I might be the hoist you need,
At one time or another,
I'd stop my heart so yours could beat,
The instinct of a mother.
But I have recently come to learn,
You must scale your own wall,
And I must stand off to the side,
And just watch you as you fall.
And that's so very hard for me,
But it's the only way you'll grow,
You are going the wrong way again,
But I must let you go.

"I can not be held accountable,
For these thoughts within my head.
You are the one who impressed them on me,
By what you wore and what you said."

"And as I stare, I'm not to blame
For the visions I now see.
For if you dressed appropriately,
There would be less evil in me."

_______

"I am sorry, I don't agree with you,
Your thoughts are all your own.
And completely under your control,
Not mine..by what I've shown."

"So I will not bear the burden,
Of your character, so unclean.
And when you find your cop-out fails you,
You'll know just what I mean. "

Go ahead... curse me for your failure,
I've heard this all before.
I give and give and give and give,
But you take a little more.
And then you negate all of the effort,
I exhausted in your name,
When you win, you take the credit,
When you lose, I take the blame.
I have never understood just why,
Some "men" stay little boys,
And believe that they are owed,
All kinds of fancy toys.
Without ever having earned them,
Not ever having paid,
And sleep like babies every night,
In beds their mothers made.
Always something for nothing,
Ain't that a pile of ****.
Come on ladies, I think it's time,
To wean them off the ***.

I imagine I walk a lonely street at night.
In the heart of a ancient city.
With close little houses and candles burning.
I believe that someone watches me from a tiny little window
Drapes pulled back.
Wondering who I am, what I'm doing out here, where I am going in the snow.
Ah but alas it's just a coat rack.
No one really cares.
I haven't been noticed at all.
And if they had..
Well they would only be jealous that I was out and they were in.