Until I knew a great love,
I did not know there was a difference,
A difference of degrees,
Proportioned to the layers,
Of the soul.
This great love,
I know it rightly.
It isn't dependent on time,
Nor effort,
Nor even presence.
It is just a great love.
It wasn't born or grown,
Only found and recognized.
For the great love which it is.
Now and the love it always will be.
A great love.
With no need for less or for more.
For certainly my heart
could not bear either.
It is perfect just as it is.
It is a great love.

The first winged utterance,
Beckons me awake.
Full cacophony follows,
And the night does break.

The smell of stillness lifted.
Mobile creatures stir.
Fading in of embers.
Distance swathed in blur.

Futile night retreateth.
Welcomed warmth ensues.
Filtered by a newborn breeze,
Cooling mornings' dews.

The reluctant mist...it rises.
Hastily...oh so slow.
Lingering in the moment,
As if sad the last did go.

And, oh!, to hold an hourglass,
To halt the marching hour.
And take note of every miracle,
Unfolding in its' power.

May my soul be the one to settle you,
When there is no peace to be found.
And my hands be the ones to lift you up,
When you've fallen to the ground.
May my lips be the ones to whisper,
All the words that you so need to hear,
And my shoulder be the one you cry on,
When you lose something very dear.
May my ears be the ones that listen to,
All the things you are longing to say,
And my knees be the ones at the altar,
When you can't find the strength to pray.
May my eyes lead you out of the darkness,
When you've become unable to see,
Please allow me to do all of this for you,
Because you've done all of this for me.

A new scent, yet familiar,
Arrives with October air.
Diluting the final fragrance,
Of spring's intial flair.

A welcome usher,....wind;
Accustom to depart;
Blows the stagnant perfume,
That summer did impart.

Breath with much less effort,
The soul inspires yet,
To a pure and vacant aroma,
Lest heaven we forget.

The happiest season of my life.
Was the one when I met you.
When a few shared simple words,
Made the whole world new.

When we would talk for hours,
And pull all the details out,
Of how both of our lives were going,
And of what they were without.

I could feel your thoughts on me,
While mine were visiting you,
But so subtly everything did change,
As seasons always do.

Can we wait this out a little longer,
Hold our breath with fingers crossed?
For our season is sure to return again,
And bring back what we lost.

How many breaths have I been deemed, from birth unto the grave?
How do I ascertain what to let go of, and just what I should save?

How will my emotions alert me as to when to laugh, or when to cry?
How many failures must I endure, until I decide to no longer try?

How many debts must I struggle to pay, before finally earning my due?
How am I to know my enemies, when even friends become untrue?

How am I to see the rainbow, with the sun right in my eyes?
How can I stand to believe again, after falling for the lies?

Am I allowed to waste my day?
Who gives permission anyway?
Can I skip all of the daily grind?
Wonder just what I might find.

A curtained room with little light,
A longing for day to turn to night.
A phone shut off and a locked door,
Six loads of laundry piled on floor.

Dishes overflowing the kitchen sink,
They can stay there, I know they stink.
Unmowed grass out on the lawn,
Fridge all empty cause food's all gone.

Knots from my sleep still in my hair,
Neglected boat just begging for care.
Unfinished deck, and bathroom a mess.
Today, to be honest, I could care less.

Am I allowed to waste my day?
Who gives permission anyway?
I can decide to skip todays' daily grind!
But what a mess in the a.m. I'm gonna find.

'Twas not a death of ceaseless breathing,
But rather one of love deceiving,
From which the soul did die.
And by doing so, then guided pleasure,
To a grave no one could measure,
Beneath a weary sky.
Without a stake even for its leaving,
Or further thought of its conceiving,
It quietly held its own,
Appearing no worse for the heaving
Sighing less heavily while bereaving,
A spot no tree had grown.

Tell me what you think of Liberation.
Is it a loss or gain?
It offers the option to disregard,
And to act without refrain.

Allows you to loose your hold of,
Things held with tightened grip.
Yet along with all that power,
Your morality may just slip.

Along with all your ethics,
Virtue then viewed with disdain.
So, tell me what you think of Liberation.
Is it a loss or gain?

Bring it on!
I am ready!
For whatever comes my way!
I can't afford to give up now!
Today was just a day!

What next?
Sure, I'll take it!
Nothing will keep me down!
I have been through so much worse!
And I simply refuse to frown!

More trouble?
I can handle it!
For I am weak no more!
I will just take it all in stride!
And be stronger than before!

Adversity?
Yes, I know him!
In fact we've become great friends!
Without him, life would be boring!
So I'm just gonna enjoy it.....................til it ends!

I am not perfect.
I am not blameless.
I am not selfless.
I am not sinless.
I am not pure.
I am not strong.
I am not okay.
I am not ashamed.
I am not defeated.

I am not like any other.


I am blessed.
I am forgiven.
I am saved.
I am worthy.
I am loved.
I am special.
I am beautiful.
I am never alone.
I am a child of GOD.

I am just like you.

I wonder how simple my life could be,
If there was nothing to worry me.
I would sleep in every morning,
Stay up late every single night,
Drink my coffee from dawn til dusk,
Tell myself I was always right.
There would be no dogs to walk,
No dinners to hurriedly make,
No bosses to glare down on me,
No insults I'd just have to take.
I could always say just what I felt,
And not cautiously weigh every word.
I could yell at the top of my lungs,
And let others think its' absurd.
I wouldn't have to answer the phone,
I could dress as casual as I desired.
I could skip laundry as long as I wished,
Take a long nap if I ever felt tired.
No one could make me do their bid,
I wouldn't have to hasten to any call.
Oh how simple my life could be,
If I could worry about nothing at all.

Your search has begun glorious, it's told in gossips' ear.
To seek out the soul of another, your vision crisp and clear.
There are just a few warnings I think that you will need.
But they are not for the weak of heart, so listen and take heed.

The soul of any being lies very deep within,
Obstacles obscure it, dark secrets, hidden sin.
The path is steep and narrow, and immeasurably long.
And has weakened many spirits,who once were very strong.

It could take a lifetime, or maybe just a day.
Most say it's not worth it, wearisome, either way.
Of those who have attempted, few returned the same.
With pallor gone, vacant eyes, faith all dead, they came.

Yet still you wish to venture, set out upon this quest.
Remember, Caution as you go, I wish you all the best.
But know that after laborious journey, if you so yet attain.
The soul will hold no semblance of what you hoped to gain.

I can see just where I've been at any given time.
Where I'm going I have no clue.
And it's all because my head's just not on straight,
At least not according to you.

But instead of helping me twist it and turn it,
To get it back on the right way,
You said you needed some time to think,
And then you just walked away.

Call me when you get it all turned around,
Just like the way it was before.
Then, we can fix any problem together,
I mean..That's what true love is for!

Family is a shelter,
Come in from the rain.
Family is a healer,
Easing all your pain.
Family is a reminder,
Of smiles from the past.
Family is forever.
And it will always last.







Family is a priceless treasure.
Sharing more than just a name.
It doesn't matter what you do.
They love you just the same.

It's very hard to leave a world,
Where everything was a lie.
And start over again elsewhere,
Without suspicion in my eye.

And everytime I see a sight,
Or overhear a lowered tone,
I just can't help but wonder,
If the truth was ever shown.

And in my chest I quickly feel,
My heart drop to my feet,
Always looking for more lies,
From everyone that I meet.

And even if I can not prove them,
I believe all the lies are there,
And they serve as a harsh reminder,
That it is better never to care.

And even if I have it all wrong,
And one has a heart that's true,
As long as I walk away quickly,
It will be like I never knew.

My pride and heart will remain intact,
As they always should be.
And I will be able to hold my head high,
"No one got the best of me."

I guess I should have taken time,
To feel the pain I earned.
Instead I just sent it all away,
And today it all returned.

How could you have chosen,
A mask over a smile,
Can you remember our sons' face?
I know its' been a while.

You traded love for debauchery,
Was it worth so little to you?
We must have made a million memories,
But I can only recall a few.

And part of me is so angry,
That you threw it all away.
Another part just feels pity,
Your life turned out this way.

There is no time for regretting,
I must keep myself on track.
So I'll send this pain away again,
And pray it won't come back.

Opening the channel from there to here
Opportunity for a song
Comfort from the heavens
With breath it moves along

And dangles by his front porch swing
Your chair so very near
Death may claim the warmth of one
But not the music that you'll hear

For love endures all things they say
Even loneliness and pain
A simple windchime reminder
Until you find him once again.

I know your words are not for me.
It doesn't hurt much anymore.
Just a little sting, a tiny pinch,
Not the heartache like before.
Knowing that the ***** I feel
Isn't only for a love I never had
But also for the fickleness of man
Well..that makes me doubly sad.

One day, I'll find the perfect place,
On a hill with lonesome tree.
And if not but behind closed eyes,
You will be there with me.
You will write of our beauty,
With your old quill pen,
Beauty behind our dull eyes,
Of days that should've been.
Of a love that we both carried,
Yet somehow could not touch,
For fear that we would break it,
Perhaps we loved too much.
Your pen will assuage the pain,
And erase mistakes away,
On a hill with lonesome tree,
I'll one day go to stay.

Maybe the question you are asking,
Should not be directed toward me.
Maybe the answer you are seeking,
Is right there but you just can't see.

Maybe I slipped right off that pedestal.
Truth is... I jumped of my own accord.
What were you thinking, placing me there?
Tell me... didn't you hear a single  word?

You know a whole lot about me,
That which I am and chose to share.
Yet still you regard me as "special,"
As someone for who you truly care.

Lessons are sometimes rarely learned,
And mistakes? often repeated in vain.
You have jeopardized all that is you,
"Now stop it! And don't do it again!"

I sit again cross-legged now,
Swaying to and fro.
On my swing, alone as always,
The safest place I know.

Where peace has always found me,
On the wings of wind's soft touch,
For a time I thought that it was free,
But in truth, it cost so much.

The leaves, they fall around me,
Flowers bloom to die again,
I hear the sounds of living somewhere,
But my swing is where I've been.

A few hands did try to shake me,
But I rocked so out of fear,
Of where leaving just might take me,
So I chose to just stay here.

But the boards, they are now creaking,
From the weight of courage lost.
Yes, I used to think my peace was free,
But I know now what it cost.

It cost me the love and cost me the joy,
Hope strived so hard to bring.
And no peace can be found in that,
Not even on this swing.

Leave it to my very best friend,
To slap the silliness right out of me.
And with a few all knowing words,
Bring me right back down to reality.

I always heed her words of advice.
She has a better perspective than me.
And she pulls me back just a little,
When I stand too close and can't see.

And she offers a clear reminder,
Of the path that I pledged to take,
And to her I am forever grateful.
For saving me so much heartbreak.

She lifts me up so that I can see,
The bigger picture from up above.
And with that view I remember,
I'm not ready to fall in love.

She says there is a long road ahead,
With opportunities galore.
And I better not ever settle again!
Unless I am very sure!

To take my time, there is no rush,
Just have fun along the way!
And always give a hundred percent,
And the time will be right one day!

It seems that I awoke one day,
To a life I did not recognize.
And plodded forward anyway,
With desperate, frightened eyes.

To view the world afresh; anew,
With shaking hands and fear.
Strangers plenty and friends few,
No familiar hand to wipe a tear.

And teaching myself I trudged on,
Making all too often a mistake,
Until all my belief in me was gone,
And I had made my own heart break.

I had turned away those who were true,
Assumed they had a dark, hidden side.
And as in my past life, I trusted very few,
No one knows me because of my pride.

I could venture out and nomad roam,
And struggle for truth, not to falter,
But know I would still not find a home,
For my faithlessness just will not alter.

Somehow you always find a way in,
Through the bleakest me.
And cause me to admit begrudgingly,
I've a gentler side to see.

But do me a little favor, please,
Keep that secret deep inside,
For it has taken me years to find,
A place the nice me can hide.

I lost my memory of your face.

First the hands of time grabbed it,
Then distance stretched it out.
I thought I found it yesterday,
No..it's gone , without a doubt.

The tiny imperfections make you so unique,
I want to look much closer, take another peek.

I notice one of your eyebrows sits a little high.
There's a tiny fleck of brown in your green left eye.

Your ears are a little larger than most that I have seen.
Your hair is thinning just a bit with very little sheen.

A wart resides, on the side, of your right great toe.
Your shirts are worn a lil' loose so your belly won't show.

Sometimes you talk so loudly it startles me really bad.
You cry when you are happy and laugh when you are sad.

When I look at you as a whole, beauty is all I see.
Tell me, have you noticed, the imperfections of me?

The waste of many years spent, neglectful, chaste.
The passing of time with trivial toilings - stealing,
Nature's harkened plea.
Come to me! For I am the enduring.
And you belong to me.

Smell the ripened apple, view landscapes' vast abode.
Dive into thy river's broad; Eye with wonder upon:
Mountain, vale, and sky.
For you are of me, and they; you..fixed.
Hear thy Nature's cry!

Each hour, whispered feet, they travel nearer to thee,
To meet with deafening silence, feast while you may.
See, feel, listen..be soothed.
From whence body born, you will return.
By Nature's way..removed.

Just a little note to tell you,
A little about my day,
Work was long, I saw your mail,
And the sky was grey.
After work I went and met,
With my daughter at the mall,
And no she is not coming home,
And doesn't miss me ...not at all.
I see your orange little blinking light,
At the bottom of my screen,
But I don't feel like talking right now,
I'm not trying to be mean.
I must go to the attorney's office,
Very early in the morn,
I'm really just a walking zombie,
Who is torn..so very torn.
I cried in the rain this evening,
And no one even knew,
I wonder what you did today,
Was it raining there too?
I know that you are reading,
Everything I write,
And somehow I feel a little better,
A little bit more "right."
I have grieved a lot of loss,
Over the past few years,
Tear-free then, but crying now,
A lifetime's pent up tears.
You've always had all the answers,
So please, can you tell me, my friend,
Just when will the weights be lifted,
When will my confusion end?