Seems such a waste
Of energy....
In frozen space
To grab a falling star
When we spent too much already
Just to get to where we are

This empty space
Is so cold
There is numbness here
A slowing of life , of thought
Occasionally visited by a confused delusion in a half waking dream
That leaves too soon
There is no life here
Only death
Hope left an age ago
I just wait now
Mourning is done
And I spin...
A centrifuge of nausea
With chunks of ***** floating by
In a decided manner
And the air thins as awareness fades
Just how long will this take?
They never really taught me that in astronaut school.

The hours seem to pass so slow
While the years go spinning by
Forgotten dates of long ago
So fixed.  Yet still they fly.
As wind carries forth the seasons
And shadows mark the day
So go the treasured memories
As the mind meets with decay.

Its not the sharpest teeth
That makes an enemy so.
Sharper be the teeth you find
On friend rather than foe.

The wind will grant its pardon
And the clouds a blessed reprieve
The sun will take the shorter route
And earlier come the eve.
The air itself will become more clear
And the horizon will begin to sprawl
The smell of fire and crisp leaves
Will welcome in the Fall.

As tired is to weary,
Love to in-love be.
As sorrow is to anguish,
Lone....to lonely me.

A fraction,; mill-i-meter,
Minūte; yet.. severe!
There's just but a breath between
Desolate; nadir.

"The truth will set you free!"
I guess it worked that way for me.
Free from lovers, free from friends.
A simple lie could make amends.
And satisfied the plain would be.
If I could withstand the scrutiny.

I always come back here
Where I can speak without shame
Where there are no acquaintances to judge
Or offer ignorant advice...no whispers
As I pass
I pass uncaring anyway
I've learned no one really matters
No one's thoughts or opinions mean a **** thing in the end
The way I see it we are all born with an estimated 75 to 100 year life sentence
I've spent over half my term sharing space with one addict or another
Checking the cell for contraband while they sleep
Not for fear they would take me out with it
More out of fear they would end their sentence prematurely
Which is so unfair to the rest of us.
And when the sleepless nights
Get to be too much I just go a little mad
Enough to get solitary for a little while
You see I've learned enough lessons for now
I have no use to learn more than a man needs to know in this place
I can recognize a liar and the one who schemes behind my back
But most disturbing I see the brokenness of all mankind that will never be fixed
At least not while "in ward."

Hi.
It's me again
No he and I
No me and them
No we or us
It's always just me.
I guess that's what Destiny
Claims it to be.
And that's the great tragedy
Of having such a strong mind
There's nothing it must search for
That in itself  it will not find.  
Theres nothing one can offer
Nor anything I can gain
The only challenge in my life
Is my brain against my brain.

All the ways of loss
Of people, things, and sway
How desperate must the godless feel
When they kneel down to pray.

There is liberty in giving up
Wrapping up in the sheets
Dissipating
Dying the souls death
Don't let anyone tell you different

The pulse is thready now
What once fed life is gone
The eyes and mind flit away
While the change is sown
And nature knows just how
To make all else carry on
As if it were just a day
As if it were never known

Feathers are used to catch a dream;
Conform-it-y defines supreme,

Hummingbirds aren't able to sing,
And paper buys you anything,

Cotton makes us more dignified;
Too many win.... who never tried,

Curios hold the China Dolls;
Art is hung in such narrow halls,

The loss of life... will hail a mass;
Beauty hides in the broken glass,

We wish upon the falling star;
Alignment tells us who we are,

Angels are made out of the snow;
We celebrate years....as they... go,

We rarely share what we should say,
And shun the bold that go their way,

Sleep is sound on a satin sheet;
We stop hearts so that we can eat,

Elements are no longer free;
High-rises sit where trees should be,

Allergies blow in with the wind;
A ditch, dug, makes the river bend,

We disregard a higher pow'r,
For satisfaction in the hour,

Virtue can't compete with pleasure;
We sacrifice all we treasure,

Joy is preferred within a jar;
We just won"t go.... if it's too far,

The easy come and go of it all,
Pardons pain after every fall.

So it should come as no surprise,
When love gives up its self and dies.

Have you seen fire formed from a flame?
Or have you seen ash form a fire?
Depends on your brain and your name;
Just how you sell truth to a liar.

A mere millisecond
Is all that lies between
Good and bad, life and death
What is and what has been.

You didn't follow
That line in my soul
Did it bore you I wonder?
The wholeness of another.
Did you recognize the value
Of a spirit allowing access
And opt out?
Or were you plagued by the blindness
That affects most men?
No matter
No difference
The coupon expired
The public offering closed
And the loss is yours

What is the cost of safety?
Denying your heart to feel.
Just what will that get you?
Never knowing something real.

A loss is just another day
Be no injury felt at all
Just status quo and que sera
No rise, like-wise, no fall

A useless game of tug of war
Heart and head are equal foes
The soul will lose either way
That's just the way it goes.

The apple rising always higher
Proportionate to the desire
Not a mountain cliff
Or an eagles drift
Ever will or can conspire.....
The height to which a man will go
In pouring rain or lashing snow
No distance of sky
No bar set too high
To fuel a hearts true fire.

All the nasty names they have
For you who I call friend.
Foul mouth from the "righteous" ones
Of which there is no end.
But it is because of you
My heart is able to break
For the ones with glassy eyes
And for the ones that shake
For every single soul that
Sought and yet could not find
A connection they so needed
A-**** those we call man"kind."
Too many just ignore you,
Therefore they can not see
Gods purpose in your sickness
Is to cure someone like me.
Ill from my own ignorance
Til I asked you for your name.
And then you shared your story
And I'll never be the same.
For those chains that you always wear
They have somehow set me free
God taught me what real love was
By revealing you to me.
So I call it a true blessing
Through God's mysterious way
That I can see the beauty of
The addicts for which I pray.

They say nothing is impossible
But that sounds so silly to me
Ashes just can't be re-formed
Back to a mighty tree.

"Words once spoken," we have all heard
But what about the written word?
Much harsher when on paper set.
Eyes remember what ears forget.
For the reader may return at will
And they'll feel the heartbreak anew
No! The uttered word just can't compete
With what the mighty pen can do.  
The ink lays out a suffering
For years , for evermore
And the hearts of those who read them,
Must endure, endure, endure!
"Words once spoken," we have all heard.
But think upon that written word,
Before it's writ and on the paper set.
For the eyes remember what the ears forget.

I sit with glasses perched
And a steamy cup
With all my consolations
Gathered about
Less of me now
And more of them
All my little pleasures
Acquired over the years
That bring me peace
Beauty and smiles
Pope and puzzles
Almond brush plants
Glass wind chimes
Dickinson and Morrison
Duritz and moonlight
Caffeine and nicotine
Impossible dreams
In my pajamas
Almost comfortable enough
To not miss a single thing

All the heightened minutes
Trying to keep pace
With parallel boredom
And overfilled space
Every touch is counted
Each whisper as well
The overall auras
Like secrets we tell
It's an intrigue of such
Known only to one
Tucked in so uniquely
With webs that we spun
From amateur housing
To seasoned decay
Time's ever-dividing
Day into a day.

It's not yours to write
My story.
I was the only witness
To every second
So if it is to be written
It will be me.
I will search for the words
I will choose the music
The characters will be
As I knew them
Not as the world knew them
I will not embellish
To make it more interesting
It is beautiful enough.

Here is what I do know now,
A few things learned from you,
Fairy tales do not exist;
Though our love is so true.
There will not be a rider
On a steed so very white
No kiss to resurrect me
Even though this feels so right.
No prince to make me royalty
No savior when I fall
No one surrenders anymore
No. No one, not at all.
Practicality now says
Two can not just become one
We must now sign a contract
Before any merger's done.
So true love now is jaded
While reason wins yet again
No exchange of any vows
Save for paper and a pen.

Just as death claims his prize
6 more souls awake; arise
Mortality never has, nor can
Still the beating heart of "man."
As tender trickles fill the bowl
Earthly tasks consume the soul
Becoming all the eye can see
Til blinded by eternity.

Lets float on the surface
Where the sun plays with the waves
In infinite ways of beautiful
In a peaceful sated daze.
Where the sounds are crisp and clear
And the light tricks our eyes
Lets just float here buoyant; free
Abandoned to the skies.
Think nothing of whats underneath
Where all the sounds becomes one hum
And the sun can't seem to penetrate
And weighted we become
No, lets just float on the surface
Be tickled by the waves
In infinite ways of beautiful
For infinite length of days.

You smell of dawn's cologne
Mingled with the mid-days sweat
It's the scent of you that's still the same

So what the world tries to sell us in its neverending "catalog of lies," is that you...
Get what you give
Reap what you sow
Love always wins
Faith over fear etc., etc.
Well I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news friends but thats just *******.
I gave love and I got hate.
Reaped loyalty and sowed betrayal,
Love is always lost in the end,
And fear buries faith at a rate so fast it makes your head spin.
Buy the lies if you want to.
They are of poor quality and way overpriced.

When I see your face my heart twists
And wrings the tears out of my eyes.

All the fibers remain
So entwined with mine
Head to heart and back again
I don't know why