Here is what I mean, my friend.
Clear your mind and sit a spell.
For I've found a revelation's end,
That to you I'd love to tell.

I need to ask you something. Yes! I must.
You know, I'm very good with those.
You'll answer honestly I trust,
To these questions I now pose.

Who knows you as yourself does know?
Does anyone solely rely on you?
Your answer will be "no-one, no."
Unfortunately...it's true.

If tomorrow came and I were gone,
And here's just what I meant.
The world would turn and carry on,
That's "insignificant."

Who is this who lies in my bed,
That I don't even know?
Who's so messed up within his head,
With nowhere else to go?

Feeding me breakfast poisoned with dreams,
And singing me hope to sleep?
Who then lies awake concocting schemes,
For with my soul to keep?

A master and a villain he be,
Behind an angel's eyes.
Yet he's the fool...it is not me,
I see through his disguise.

You see perception blessed me thrice,
And now I am full aware.
Fool me once, fool me twice,
But again? You best beware!

For I can also lace the truth,
To cut you down to size;
Use your deceit as my reproof,
And justify the lies.

But use my pillow - I'll play the role,
And take my portion double.
Before I snip your twisted soul,
"My pleasure..it's no trouble."

What are you seeking , o beautiful one,
Down the alleys of that street?
Are smiles sold when the day is done,
Are there friends you hope to meet?

Do you feel danger as you walk along,
Or the shackles on your feet?
Does Satan sing a more alluring song,
When you contemplate retreat?

I beg you dear, please take just one more glance,
To the stars up in the sky.
That our maker placed and made to dance,
As truth for you and I.

So let your own shadow be your own guide,
Now that the night is nigh'.
And know that there is no real place to hide,
From his ever-watchful eye.

Never once have you ever walked alone,
Not even in chosen hell,
He knows every feeling you've never shown,
And he knows what time will tell.

You can feel that he is pursuing you,
Even while you run so fast,
And the only thing he wants you to do,
Is accept a love that lasts.

You see by the candle,
But don't get burned,
That's all because....
I hold it.

And that thing that seems,
To do as you bid,
That's only because....
I scold it.

That breeze that comes,
When you just so need it,
It comes because....
I blow it.

And the love that you feel,
That you deserve,
You only find because ....
I show it.

And that welcome bed,
Where you always lie,
Is there because....
I make it.

And the pain you flail,
So deliberately,
Hurts only as long as...
I take it!

You look to what's in front of you,
I look to what's behind,
And I discover twice as much,
Of what you hope to find.

For what will be has already been,
Everything is repeated.
And before you even lose the game,
You've already been cheated.

You can read every new bestseller,
Knock on every new neighbor's door,
Just keep wishing for your happy ending,
But that too has been done before.

So take a right instead of a left,
Choose to smile and not frown.
But even the village idiots know,
That what goes up must come down.

Is this too harsh for you, my friend?
I've saved the best for last.
There's no future that awaits you,
That isn't in your past.

I have filled the empty pages,
In the chapters of "My Life,"
With so much needless worry,
And so much needless strife.
Not trusting the true author,
My maker and my friend,
To whisper all the words to me,
From beginning to "The End."

Instead I chose every syllable,
All the characters, and the plot.
Til my pen went dry and I heard,
"There's something you forgot!"
"You failed to mention I was there,
Every second, yet you didn't know,
And this story "you've" been writing?
I actually wrote it long ago."

Oh! With what diligent effort,
Did you once seek a love?
And found it almost perfect,
What you had the offer of?
And then with careless disregard,
Inspection and with creed,
Give up that almost perfect love,
That you felt you did not need?
Then while it vaguely wandered,
Did you call out a time or two?
Wishing that now perfect love,
Would come right back to you?
Love, it seeks a welcome home,
It doesn't beat a darkened door,
And it will choose a foreigner,
Over one it's loved before.
But it teaches a certain lesson,
While the season's timely close,
That almost perfect love becomes,
More perfect as it goes..............

I feel the arms that hold me now,
But they do not touch with care.
They do not know my heart like you,
Or the hurt that lingers there.
They do not know my damaged pride,
They'll never know my fears.
They will never come to love me,
Or wipe away my tears.
But if I squeeze my eyes shut tight,
My heart almost thinks it true,
That the arms that hold me now,
Belong, my love to you........

I am not perfect.
I am not blameless.
I am not selfless.
I am not sinless.
I am not pure.
I am not strong.
I am not okay.
I am not ashamed.
I am not defeated.

I am not like any other.


I am blessed.
I am forgiven.
I am saved.
I am worthy.
I am loved.
I am special.
I am beautiful.
I am never alone.
I am a child of GOD.

I am just like you.

I like wildflowers. Just not the ones you picked for me.
And placed in that vase on the table.
They died within 4 hours and left the water cloudy
and putrid smelling.

I like playing games. I'm actually very good at them.
I'm very competitive, you know.
And smart...did you know that?
Smart and intuitive.

I like freedom, too. I'ts like the first breath of air,
After coming up from the shallow end.
It makes me new somehow,
New and alive, very alive.

I don't like promises. I don't make them.
And neither should you.
They just make liars out of otherwise,
Honest people.

I do not need a thing right now.
I know that when I usually call,
It's after I made some huge mistake,
Or suffered some sort of fall.
But tonight I'm in need of nothing,
Nothing, my friend, it's true.
Your company is my greatest joy,
And my heart misses you.
But the line appears so busy,
And yes I understand,
And I hope your life is going,
Exactly as you planned.
I just want you to know that,
Every second of every day,
You are the biggest part of me,
I just felt the need to say.
But not so that you'll think of me,
So you'll know how special you are,
And that if you ever need me friend,
I will never be very far.

Until I knew a great love,
I did not know there was a difference,
A difference of degrees,
Proportioned to the layers,
Of the soul.
This great love,
I know it rightly.
It isn't dependent on time,
Nor effort,
Nor even presence.
It is just a great love.
It wasn't born or grown,
Only found and recognized.
For the great love which it is.
Now and the love it always will be.
A great love.
With no need for less or for more.
For certainly my heart
could not bear either.
It is perfect just as it is.
It is a great love.

Tell me was it I that changed, my friend,
Or rather was it you?
Perhaps 'twas for time's own amusement,
To show what he could do.
The distance between yesterday,
And where we are right now,
Seems much less longer that it was,
But much more sad somehow.

If my heart could purge every mistake,
Made for nothing but pretense sake,
Just where would I be now?

{Well it can't...so I just don't know
How befitting! that hope should go}

If my mind could still and never sway,
So many times throughout every day,
Would I still err somehow?

{Well it won't and I'm sure I will
I'm not the type meant to be still}

If my hands would only long to hold,
The two same hands until I grew old,
Would I wish to savor?

{But they don't and I don't think so
And just why I may never know}

And so I will choose to conform to me
I'll be kind and flippant, and also free
And do myself that favor.

The now silent cell phone,
And the muted tv,
The every day longing,
For the one I can't see.
The look to the night sky,
The feel of the wind,
The wasting of past time,
That nothing can mend.
My bed full of dreams,
My heart bounds within,
A journal completed,
Of days way back when,
We would hold hands,
And laugh on the beach,
Just writing together,
With no need for speech,
And the sun warmed,
Our eyes that we closed,
And forever was all,
Even time dare propose.
No cigarettes needed,
No liquor would do,
To escape from the truth,
That I never had you.

If I could go back to that fork in the road,
If I could go back today,
Stand again before that intersect,
I'd choose the other way.
If I could go back to the starting line,
If I could go back today,
I'd be one hell of a strong competitor,
And not just run away.
If I could go back to the thrill of us,
The thrill before the fall.
I'd cling to you for the entire ride,
And not ever look back at all.

When I picture my paradise,
Through inward, pensive eye,
There's no end to the horizon,
And nothing mars the sky.
And I am lying naked,
Half in shade under the trees,
My partial sunsoaked body,
Being soothed by fleeting breeze.
I take up a ****** journal,
And all the words fall into place,
Then spirit, body, mind, and soul,
All greet the sweetest face.
And like tumultuous rivers flow,
Our ****** too shall be,
For when I picture paradise,
You are making love to me.

May my soul be the one to settle you,
When there is no peace to be found.
And my hands be the ones to lift you up,
When you've fallen to the ground.
May my lips be the ones to whisper,
All the words that you so need to hear,
And my shoulder be the one you cry on,
When you lose something very dear.
May my ears be the ones that listen to,
All the things you are longing to say,
And my knees be the ones at the altar,
When you can't find the strength to pray.
May my eyes lead you out of the darkness,
When you've become unable to see,
Please allow me to do all of this for you,
Because you've done all of this for me.

Words of love that have long since past,
As the breathless state just could not last,
Just as a pardon, by the sinner, is forgot,
Or as a winner's waste of a lifetime's lot,
Just as seasons do come and seasons do go,
And the truth disturbs all we used to know,
Just as an instant can blemish many years,
Or simple joy is replaced by mixed up tears,
Just as a lie makes the worst foe of a friend,
All things do hurry to their own end.

To a life that's been unlived,
For many, many years,
It takes so very little effort,
To stem the useless tears.
Accepting that the minimum,
Is enough to just get by,
That most attempts to smile,
Will end with only sigh.
But if offered just an instant,
One single sparkling chance,
To Live, oh yes to truly live,
Would it dare to dance?

I believe that I shall dress in white,
And make solitude my friend.
Shut the doors and bar them tight,
Myself be it's own end.
For my eyes have seen enough,
Of  a world for me.. forbidden.
If there be diamonds in the rough,
They've been too well hidden.
Though little I've been witness to,
Oh, what power! Oh, what might!
To make so much of oh so few,
And dress me up in white!

The gun was pointed long ago,
And pointed right at me.
So close... that the barrel,
Was all that I could see.
And then accustom took it's hold,
So I carried on the same.
But then it shifted awful slight,
And found a better aim.
Holding just such a disposition,
( I discern better than some,)
That there was no mistaking,
What was about to come.
And so I had to choose an option,
Though they all were poor,
I must have chose the worst because,
I never saw the door.
And I'll never know who pulled it,
Were you? or I? to blame?
The cocking of that trigger?
I heard it say my name.

Deafen my ears, so the words won't ring,
And numb my heart, so the pain won't sting,
Dull my mind, so I'll envision not,
Days of a love that's now forgot.
Blind my eyes so that I won't see,
The indifference when you look at me,
Stiffen my back to carry to my pride,
So you'll never know the pain inside,
And upon my face, please fix a smile,
So that I will appear okay a while,
Awaken me, keep the dreams at bay,
Seal my lips so that they won't say,
"Your love was where all hope was bred,
And without it, all my hope is dead."

You are in every shadow,
And every dim lit place.
And in every dusk filled crevice,
I think I see your face.
You are in every sunbeam,
And shine too bright to see.
But whenever I feel warm,
It's 'cos you are with me.
You're in every single smile,
That my lips ever make.
And in every single thought,
And in every chance I take.
You are every single beat,
In my ever-hopeful heart,
And the only source of comfort,
When my whole world falls apart.
May our whispers be uplifted,
To the angels on the wind.
So by GOD's grace we can be,
Together, my dear friend.

Life would hold no consequence,
If not for certain death,
For granted we'd take the hours and days ,
If endless be our breath.

Truth needs not be embellished,
Nor decorated, nor placed in ornate field,
For it is beauty of itself,
Whether hidden or revealed.
It promises no virtue,
It promises no glee,
But by it's very nature,
It is just as it should be.
While flattery leads to common,
And pretense takes it's care ,
Truth becomes more valuable ,
Because it is more rare.
I'd deafen my ears forever,
To a hundred praises heard ,
For just a minute hint of truth,
In a simple honest word.
Truth needs not be embellished,
Nor decorated, nor placed in ornate field,
For it is beauty of itself,
Whether hidden or revealed.

One day, I'll find the perfect place,
On a hill with lonesome tree.
And if not but behind closed eyes,
You will be there with me.
You will write of our beauty,
With your old quill pen,
Beauty behind our dull eyes,
Of days that should've been.
Of a love that we both carried,
Yet somehow could not touch,
For fear that we would break it,
Perhaps we loved too much.
Your pen will assuage the pain,
And erase mistakes away,
On a hill with lonesome tree,
I'll one day go to stay.

Spare me from suburbia.
I hate the chatter.
And the cookie cutter houses.
And people worrying about what shade of Estee Lauder they need to look 20 years younger.
The bigger the SUV ...the better.
Yeah that's my saying too.
Oh yes it's Doggy Spa day! yippee.
Freakin morons.
Put your Gucci shades back on quick before you get to the underpass and see the man who fought for your freedom so that you can enjoy your Sushi on the right side of town, begging for anything you can spare.
But thats right you have nothing to give, do you.
I mean you couldn't possibly dip into the college fund for little Jessica, who by the way is snorting blow as we speak, in the projects across the tracks, while you think she is attending the high school pep rally, as all good cheerleaders do.
And you might want to slow down just a little bit, because if you reach your hubby's highrise office even just one minute ahead of schedule, Candy won't have time to push her skirt back down, wipe her mouth, and re apply her reading glasses, before you enter...and that would be a bit uncomfortable , don't you think?
Maybe you just better turn around altogether and head back to suburbia baby!
There's a reason you are called a stay-at-home mom.
It's the safest place for you...trust me.
Reality causes varicose veins and then you would need emergency laser surgery to correct it, which would interefere with your PTA meeting this afternoon.

I hear no more the heavy silence,
Of an empty room,
Nor stare into the utter blackness,
Of a long sealed tomb.
Nor feel the ****** of icy rain,
In a winters midst.
Not since the very moment,
That I was first kissed.
By waves of simple melody,
From lips that spoke so true.
And by sunbeams that were yielded,
From eyes of deepest blue,
And by love's wind that aided,
The hope to lift the mist,
To reveal the very moment,
That I was first kissed.

The latest ***** ballad,
Is learned but in a day,
So natural is the melody,
That leads a soul astray.
The ensemble, ..it progresses,
A crescendo’s on the way,
Each man’s key is identical,
As if all were “born to play.”
And yet I still take note of,
A tune, less oft’; more true,
As rare as its own innocence,
And performed by very few.
A beat now out of rhythm,
A chord struck out in vain,
Spare my heart’s ear..that listens,
Fearing it won’t hear again.