I know why I scare you.
I can be kind and unknowingly fierce,
So open and so closed,
Perfect and flawed,
All at the same time.
I know I can be trusted
But know I'm not.
I'm not one you can predict.
I fight great battles
And lose, and rejoice in the loss.
I speak parables and pain
Blessings and burdens.
I see so many dimensions.
That don't exist for you.
I barter for slavery instead of freedom
And walk naked among angels
That you can't see.
I talk to the dead
Because they listen.  
And am feared though I have no power
Over you.
I'm not accepted because I'm different.
I don't see an end or a goal
I see enlightenment.  
I can brush my teeth with Dickinson
And cook with Aurelius.
Introduce them to each other
At lunch.
A canopy of trees is a squirrel's playground to me.
I am quite often misunderstood
And conceived to be crazy.
But when I see a bird I watch it
As long as it takes for that bird to go.  
And wonder if anyone will ever
Watch me for that long.

You smell of dawn's cologne
Mingled with the mid-days sweat
It's the scent of you that's still the same

"The truth will set you free!"
I guess it worked that way for me.
Free from lovers, free from friends.
A simple lie could make amends.
And satisfied the plain would be.
If I could withstand the scrutiny.

Here is what I do know now,
A few things learned from you,
Fairy tales do not exist;
Though our love is so true.
There will not be a rider
On a steed so very white
No kiss to resurrect me
Even though this feels so right.
No prince to make me royalty
No savior when I fall
No one surrenders anymore
No. No one, not at all.
Practicality now says
Two can not just become one
We must now sign a contract
Before any merger's done.
So true love now is jaded
While reason wins yet again
No exchange of any vows
Save for paper and a pen.

No, I didnt get to leave.  
Like I wanted to.
Like I was meant to.
I didn't get to go see what you saw
Or search for myself under a lone tree.
I stayed here.
To save it all while it all died around me.
People I loved.
Trees I planted.
My only comforts.
Burying them one at a time.  
Fickle doesn't fit here.
The only thing that works here is giving.
There's nothing for me to take
Only give.
And I do. I give it all.
And it is taken.
Usually that doesn't bother me
But today I'm ******.
Today I'm tired.
Having a conversation with myself.
And we dont get along anymore.
We are too different.
And have betrayed each other too many times.
I have learned living contrary to one's nature
Is ******* misery.
And worse as I chose it.
The great one who steps up to save the day
Has to do it forever
Or be branded as terrible.
When do I get to live, be me, run?
To leave would mean hurting the only ones
That I ever loved.
And all my dreams probably would never come true
Anyway.