Just a jumble
By a troubled mind
Or perhaps a tired one
Who looks through frosted glass
For all the parts to make the whole
Of you.
Collecting your past acts
And contrary present,
All of your tells and words,
Truths and indescrepancies
The slightest of body language
To form an image of a soul
That is unknown
And upon finding the concoction
Rather plain
I can add a little smoke
Or a little drink
And quite simply
Take all those pieces apart
Study them; scrutinize them up close
Until they all blur and skip a bit
Then rearrange them all
Repeating this process
Of infinite possibilities
Until the result is either too beautiful to truly love,
Or too hideous to abandon.
This is how I determine who you are.
By how I construct you
And how I perceive you
In this light or that.
In limitless dimensions,
You easily become
Someone I can love or hate
Hold or let go of
Regard or disregard
I can do this forever.
You are irrelevant.

I took the bait that dangled
Starving as I was.
For a taste of something new.
Made a challenge of accepting
An imagined captivity.
I could make a habit out of this.  
A willing slave.  
And just stay, learning.
Learning your motivation,
Your sins.
Intriguing as it is...
It is not harmless.
Not for the Master,
Who underestimates
His captor.

The hands that will touch me now
Will be calloused
But they will not hurt me
Not like your slow hands
That massaged in a poison
Without me ever knowing
No. The hands that will touch me now
Will belong to a monster
Without a disguise.
That's bravery.  That's love.

The space between life and death
Narrows as it goes.
Smothering at the end.
From light to deep grey
Hope to hopelessness
Final hours are no blessing
Just an expectant waiting
Almost a begging plea
For that last breath
For mercy
And there is a reverence to it all
Where the world no longer matters
And beauty takes a different form
When memories clutch the brain
And acceptance descends
Panic abates
And a beating heart finally stops

I have traveled on Route 66
Where opportunists passed before
Been up and down State Route 1
Along the California shore
Made the trips along I-90
Back and forth, east to west
Drove a decade or more away
With very little rest.
Saw a giant freeway moon
And felt God on 89A
I got to all my destinations
And found myself along the way.
Been all around the country
It's in my blood to roam.
And no other place will ever do.
The highway is my home.

Actions whip upon my flesh
You know yet turn away
And use the liberty that I gave you
With the words I wouldn't say.
Backing down without a fight
Yes, darling that's my way
Victory is most often won
In choosing not to play.
And so now start the battles
Between yourself and sin
Battles you are sure to lose
Just to lose all over again.
Cunning from a weaker foe
Who doesn't know his enemy
Requires no consideration
And holds no pause for me.
And so the whips are turned...and
Your flesh is now their aim
Because I won your very soul
Without playing the game.

I hear the bells as well my friend
Those knocks upon the door
That never should be opened
To the faint,.. of that I'm sure.
And friend, I too, I dress in white
To contrast the blackened span.
I too feel nauseous at the sight
Of the passionless hearts of man.
So I've kept company with a soul
Whose thoughts are so absurd
They tapped until they formed a hole
With taps I never heard.
Where stars, ideas, and ghosts collide
Then tumble out to space
With all the agonous shrills that died
To never find their resting place.  
I chase perfection in my brain
Where the mad race has no end.
And deem myself quite insane
Just like you,  my evil friend!