Beatle Bomb  (a tribute to the Fab 4)

I should have known better, but if I fell, can you tell me why?
I'm happy just to dance with you, anytime at all,
you can't do that, if you love me do,
I want to hold your hand, and your bird can sing too,
said you was a taxman, it was a hard days night,
you can drive my car, but you wont see me,
I'm looking through you, but you're nowhere man,
had  a ticket to ride, eight days a week,
it was only yesterday, when I met the day tripper,
we can work it out, with the paperback writer,
we called Eleanor Rigby and Penny Lane,
and now it's getting better, with a little help from my friends,
You say “Helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllooooo­oooooooooooo”
I say “Goodbye”,  
You say “Helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllooooo­oooooooooooo”
I say “Goodbye”,  

I was living in a glass onion with Dear Prudence,
I said help! Lady Maddona, won't you just let it be,
Martha my dear, took her Blackbird and Piggies
while Rocky Racoon and Bungalow Bill had wild honey pie
Julia and **** Sadie  had honey pie for their birthday
while there was a revolution back in the U.S.S.R
it was helter skelter but everybody's got something
but I'm getting better, fixing a hole, using Maxwell's silver hammer
and mean Mr Mustard was chasing Polythene Pam  
so she came in through the bathroom window
guess it is time to just Let it be

You say “Helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllooooo­oooooooooooo”
I say “Goodbye”,  
You say “Helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllooooo­oooooooooooo”
I say “Goodbye”,  

Gomer LePoet...

Rap Trap

          My life's a mess, let me try to explain,
          I'm a 5 minute walk from going insane,
          see there's way to much going on in my brain,
          headed for a crash on a high speed train

          my bones are acrakin', my knees wont bend,
          ain't got no money, but I spend, spend, spend,
          don't know why I feel, I have to pretend,
          took some big blue pills, hoping to mend
          
          things changed so fast, I wasn't even aware,            
          when it hit me in the face, why I do declare,
          time to man-up, need to grow me a pair,
          or I can turn my back and pretend I don't care

          caught in a trap, betwixt and between,
          should I tell everyone, should I come clean,
          I'm so confused, do you know what I mean? ,
          when I look in the mirror, I see Orson Bean

          it's just jive talkin, some people say it's rap,
          if you want my opinion, I think it's crap,
          but I find it hard to get outa this trap,            
          can't stop my lips from goin flap, flap, flap

          Gomer LePoet...

Those Lips

I was sitting in a booth at Boomer's coffee shop,
it was two a.m. And I was ready to drop,
working my *** off, Just trying to get ahead,
but going in circles, it's going to my head

sitting here sipping a cup of Cafe' LaWut,
pulling drags off a stale cigarette ****,
in walks this redhead, long legs and all,
set me straight up, hit my head on the wall

long red hair all the way down her back,
near 6 foot tall, with quite a stack,
legs from the bottom, all the way to the top,
could feel my bottom jaw start to drop

looking like a dork couldn't help but stare,
think to myself, she's not wearing underwear.
bright green eyes that sparkled like stars,
and here I am looking, like a creature from Mars

but she looked my way, gave a wink and a smile,
she must be crazy, or been drinking a while,
her cute pug nose fit her face just right,
I could look at her for the rest of the night

the thing I noticed most out of all this charm,
long hair, long legs, a smile so warm,  
killer eyes, perfect teeth and shapely hips  
I really had this urge to kiss those lips.

Gomer LePoet...

Hekyl and Jyde

Dr Hekyll was a strange old sort
dabbled in physics and reform of tort
took things serious as a heart attack
never smiled much hardly ever a crack

he worked every day from dawn to dusk
research from rhino horn to sweet corn husk
when he sipped on his brew stumbling in a haze
colors flashing everywhere fell into a daze

his hair bouffant and his collar flipped
behind the wheel of his corvette he slipped
checking his pretty face in the rear view mirror
Yes he was cool Mr Jyde couldn't get any clearer

down to the nite clubs he would saunter in
order himself a tall boy of tonic and gin
the ladies would flock all seeking his attention
checking his supply of disaster prevention

by two a.m. his reserves running thin
time to get back to his laboratory again
before his hair and good looks disappeared
they would all get a look at his scraggly beard  

as the sun arose he staggered to his feet
dressed in his fancy suit Italian shoes on his feet
rubbed his eyes and in the mirror he winked
threw himself a kiss and never even blinked

yes he was a contrast of demeanor and style
his somber face covering up his smile
back to his dreary life of barely alive
he was Dr. Hekyll and Mr. Jyde

Gomer LePoet....

Is there a reason

is there an aisle, for the pile, for just a while
a box, that holds rocks, and room for my socks
  a clamp, to put on my cramp, hold my stamp
   a day, when I can say, it's gone my way
    an eye, made for a fly, without a sty
     a flag, or a paper bag, to cover the drag queen  
      a goat, that you know will float, without a boat
       a house, for my mouse, a lacy blouse
        an imagination, for a nation, needing salvation
         a jeepers, without a creepers, and no peepers
          a kite, that flies alnight, until it's right
           a lesson, learned from confesson, without guessin
            a mole, in every hole, who likes rock and roll
           a nerd, who looks like a bird, that's what I heard
          an oil, our waters will boil, you've ruined the soil  
           a potion, or a lotion, that enhances the motion
          a queen, whos really keen, on old James Dean
         a reason, for commiting treason, in any season  
        a space, in this place, to put my face
       a time, to do my rhyme, is it a crime
      an Ull, unknown to Krull, whose blade is dull  
     a vacuum, in every room, or just a broom
    a way, to ever say, you need not pray
   a Xe, to strong for me, a trace I see
  a yak, the color black, behind my back
a zama, in Alabama, Phi Slamma Jamma

Gomer LePoet...

Gambale

he comes from the land down under
a golden axe is in his hand
creating his centrifugal funk
all across his note drenched land

he completed his Italian job
sending everyone high fives
while schmoozing in the white room
high powered electric jives

Nunzia was by his side
he was his right hand man
except of course when making love
inside Lydia's love van

one of the great explorers
of this final wild frontier
like a crouching jaguar
keeping his mind so clear

the magical slinging weapon
faster than an arrow
the vibrations pierced through the skin
down inside the marrow

the thunder current crashing
this pathfinder with attitude
it was dawn over the Nullarbor
at crusing altitude

conducting naughty business
for all those who seek to hear
Kuranda is the place you'll find
his vision so perfectly clear

for his right of passages
a little charmer flying by
a present for the future
noteworker on a natural high

Gomer LePoet...

Yankee Doodle

Yankee Doodle went to town, at least that's what they say,
I heard he never made it there, he was rolling in the hay,
with Mrs Sims fine young daughter, she had a real nice pair,
of Siamese *** Bellied Pigs, with long blond flowing hair

They sometimes referred to him, as the Doodle Meister,
he was known around this town, as the village heister,
he would steal candy bars, just stick them in his pocket,
and for young Sally Sims, he even stole a locket

The sheriff of this little berg, caught up with him one day,
made him drop his droopy drawers, put it on display,
milky ways and muskateers, tumbled to the ground,
and when he made him spread his cheeks, you won't believe what he found

A carton of cigs, a jar of olives, and some candied yams,
a pound of pasta, a TV guide, and 2 cans of deviled hams,
the sheriff put the cuffs on him, and threw him in the wagon,
somehow he managed to escape, like Puff the Magic Dragon

Gomer LePoet...

Pompous Circumstances

he was elitist to the max effect
so full of himself in every way
if things were not to his liking
he would wag his finger and say

hey there you insignificant slob
don't you know who I am
I am royalty so above you knave
your words to me a sham

you are not worthy of my attention
why do you interrupt my train of thought
your concern over trivial things
mere trinkets I could have easily bought

so away with ye now you commoner
no longer do I wish you stay
yes you might think me pompous
but Im so special in every way

my products of waste smell delightful
I wallow in food and drink
throw money away like it's water
yes I do not think my **** would stink

you see I am so perfect
circumstances beyond your control
I will now be running for congress
taking more now is my goal

I will sell your concerns and worries
to whomever gives me my want
by the time you figure to replace me
another like me will move to the front

Gomer LePoet...

No More Sweets

I've managed to outdo myself,
I've made a failing grade,
my sweets no longer thinks of me,
its a zero centigrade,
sure, I knew what I did was chancy,
complete collapse was high,
but nothing ventured, nothing gained,
is the motto I go by,
I still hold the view of high regard,
in every single thought,
the chance was taken, I was mistaken,
in what it was I sought,  
and now my thoughts blow in the wind,
they are torn and scattered,
any possibility, of this reconcile gone,
as if it really mattered,
I will return again someday, my head held high,
walking busy streets,
until then, I'll mourn in peace,
knowing no more Sweets.

Gomer LePoet...

The Atomic Weight of Arrogance

Politicians, self-absorbed business tycoons
super star athletes and various other baboons
have this special quality which we all endear
thinking they are above us they make it perfectly clear

they're thoughts, needs and wants are second to none
they want these important issues known to everyone
czars, kings, dictators, potentates put them in a line
actors, music stars, the schoolyard bully even comes to mind

we have all known or seen them digitally displayed publicly
holding down with tightly clenched fist if we disagree
they have been endowed with preordained magic powers  
sprinkled by their own private god's golden showers

they have always known more than mere mortal man
with more intelligence in one finger that's always been the plan
some seem confused that we don't all see them as our hero
last I checked the atomic weight of arrogance is still a whopping zero

Gomer LePoet....

Madison Avenue

thousand dollar suits, fancy silk tie
slicked back hair, he's a helluva guy
he'll pick your pocket, do what he has to do
to stay on top on Madison Avenue

foreclose your loan, increase your rate
charge you more, if you are late
no don't bend over, he'll give it to you
do what he needs on Madison Avenue

he will lie to his mother, cheat on his wife
whatever it takes, to maintain his life
hold his breath until, his face turns blue
got to have it his way, on Madison Avenue

just how large, does his account need be
when is it enough, to make him see
he's so **** smart, but doesn't have a clue
his life is all about, Madison Avenue

government bailouts, rewards for greed
while jobless workers, walk streets with need
have my doubts, that we thought it through
keeping the hot shots hot, on Madison Avenue

we slap their wrists, say don't do it again
they claim they won't, but behind they grin
they know they can do, just want they want to
nothing seems to change, on Madison Avenue  

Gomer LePoet...

Little Green Light

Surfing with the Beach Boys, surfing on the net,
in my little deuce coup, or a shiny new corvette,
stopping for some burgers, or maybe some spaghet,
riding on a surfboard, or a fancy water jet

stopping at a music site, or a page of ****,
did this all happen, before you were even born,
now you're at the chat site, looking so forlorn,
waiting, waiting, waiting, all you can say is ****

waiting for you girlfriend, or your boyfriend all night,
wondering if they might have, missed the early flight,
then it finally happens, your heart jumps with delight,
right there in front of you, is the flash of little green light  

you just cant wait to say, I'm so glad you're here,
like the one on the other side, was sitting very near,
you can sit back now, chat and drink a beer,
that little green light, bringing smiles and good cheer

Gomer LePoet...

She Loves me, She Loves me not

Well another chapter has come and gone,
once again ,I have been sent packing
if I were a chess piece, I'd certainly be the pawn,
how many times, too many for tracking

she says  in fact that, she still loves me,
but too many factors have told me no  
disappearing acts into uncertainty
questionable comments, make doubts grow

so many thoughts, leave a heart that is heavy
guess it was just never meant to be
left my dreams in a heap at the levee
my broken twisted soul buried at sea

waves of pain no longer linger
been here to often, and now I am numb
whisked away with a  snap of her fingers
need a ride now, so I stick out my thumb

maybe you, will be the one to take me in
comfort my heart, with your understanding
need a distraction, to make my head spin
need a new melody to make my soul sing

she loves me yes, she loves me not
how can one know, when true love is found
do words of passion really mean a lot
when now I listen, and there is no sound

her birthday is near, and tears fill my eyes
I so wanted to show her, how much I cared
now the present of my love, will need a disguise
she loves me not, empty heart and soul paired  

Gomer LePoet...

Yankee Doodle

Yankee Doodle went to town, at least that's what they say,
I heard he never made it there, he was rolling in the hay,
with Mrs Sims fine young daughter, she had a real nice pair,
of Siamese *** Bellied Pigs, with long blond flowing hair

They sometimes referred to him, as the Doodle Meister,
he was known around this town, as the village heister,
he would steal candy bars, just stick them in his pocket,
and for young Sally Sims, he even stole a locket

The sheriff of this little berg, caught up with him one day,
made him drop his droopy drawers, put it on display,
milky ways and muskateers, tumbled to the ground,
and when they made him spread his cheeks, you won't believe what he found

A carton of cigs, a jar of olives, and some candied yams,
a pound of pasta, a TV guide, and 2 cans of deviled hams,
the sheriff put the cuffs on him, and threw him in the wagon,
somehow he managed to escape, like Puff the Magic Dragon

Gomer LePoet...

Heartburn

seems like only yesterday,
     we were drinking in each others love

we just could not get enough,
     we would playfully argue, was it now my turn

our sweaty bodies rolling around
     in contorting every shape and form

now babe when I look at you  
     I just get heartburn

we can't stand to be even be
     in the same room together,

what happened to that craziness
     when we each dressed up in leather

cracking whips and wearing masks,
      pretending to teach and learn

now you know my stomach hurts
       you just give me heartburn

the love has gone and left us cold
       you know how milk can turn

what once was has left us now
       need something for this heartburn
      
        
Gomer LePoet...

Slashers

I grew up when rock bands were first here
from out of nowhere they would apprear
long haired, bearded hippies makin noise

some were quite good once you figured them out
others were bad, couldnt sing a lick, only shout
wondered where they got the money to buy the toys

one thing they featured, were loud out of tune guitars
made more weird sounds, then the race track cars
but some of them knew or actually learned how to play

these were the slashers who knew more than 3 chords
spine tingling sounds, from electric wires on boards
the sounds were so new I would listen all day

now I'm gonna name a few who made an impression on me
I'm sure your opinions will differ and you won't agree
but mostly I'm talking bout the early days of underground rock

there are new ones I know who are slicker than snot
but these are the ones that I never forgot
I can still listen to them now around the clock

ok here we go, hold on to your hat, you can reply to me
if I left off  your favorite, and I'm sure I did;
  
clapton, page, Hendrix, Holdsworth and howe
Bill Nelson, Kath, nugent, krueger, Van Halen
blackmore, knopfler, doucette and Eric johnson
gambale, benson, carlton, farner, frampton
satriani, Johnny A., Gatton, atkins, mayer
schon, lukather, takanaka, ritnour and west
monty montgomery, wes montgomery, keaggy
trower, may, derringer and ford
santana, montrose, morse and Trevor rabin

Gomer LePoet...

Miami Vice – The Song – From First Kiss Rock Opera

The night was ringing, with violent sounds,
the echoes of turbulent dreams were flying,
being chased by villians, like foxes and hounds,
through the streets, hear the voices crying

seems he had been, a witness of crime,
he was offering his service to the city,
the cartel found out, he was taking the time,
his interventions would allow for no pity

duck your heads, run for the cover,
these beasts of violence, will sure take your life
hide with the Feds, save your lover,
be wary of traitors, they cut like a knife
      
the wailing of sirens, tear through the night,
warnings of immanent danger for you,
seek out the dark, stay out of the light,
you and your lover with your love so true

duck your heads, run for the cover,
these beasts of violence, will sure take your life
hide with the Feds, save your lover,
be wary of traitors, they cut like a knife

Still thinking of that First Kiss ….

Gomer LePoet

Fractured Fairies

the stalk was tall but Jack climbed high
they said he was looking for a golden goose
but the giant wasn't keen on him getting by
he caught the little brat and kicked his caboose

old mother Hubbard lived in a shoe
she had lots of sole and a rather large tongue
her old man was proficient in kung foo
when she bent over he kung foo'd her ****

Alice lived in wonderland she was constantly high
her and that crazy rabbit eating mushrooms wild
they looked into the looking glass and my oh my
they both had golden locks so neatly styled

once upon a time there were three bears
they couldn't eat the pourage on their first attempt
they shaved their bodys except for their ***** hairs
found out they were Jewish and now verklempt

little Miss Muffet sat on tuffet eating her curds and whey
along came a spider and sat down beside her
and she stomped him good put a crimp in his day

Mary had a little lamb what a big surprise
the doctor's scratched their heads in disbelief
they just couldn't even believe their eyes
but when old McDonald had a farm good grief

Gomer LePoet...

Ding ****

ding ****, the witch is dead,
fell on her ***, and banged her head,
tripped on her lying tongue, is what I heard

she was a fool, a no good twit,
always trying, to stir up ****,
well the **** thickened up, and became a ****

goats eyes, and giant bats *****,
that she found, scavenging halls,
she never left me a note, no not one dam word

she's gone for good, and that is cool,
no longer around, to yank my tool,
if I would see her now, I'd flip her the bird

riding her broom, across the sky,
warts on her chin, a patch on one eye,
she had her own pair of *****, and maybe a third

she drank like a fish, almost always drunk,
her breath smelled bad, like the scent of a skunk,
never made any sense, her words constantly slurred

now that she's gone, hold my hand on my heart,
in memory of her, I cut a big old ****,
ding **** you old *****, signed the nerd

Gomer LePoet...