Gosh

this is one of her favorite words
and everytime I hear her say this
the sweet sounds of soft song birds
comes into my scattered mind

just a simple girl  hard working
never asks for much, maybe a kiss
behind a curtain I stand lurking
her scent mesmerizing I find

sweet cherry blossoms, in full bloom
that is the taste of her lips too
petals strewn about the room
her face is in my mind, in everything I do

the more I know about her mind
the more I want to learn, it's true
tried stepping off to the side, away
and sadness colors my world blue

I cannot stand to be out of touch
absense makes my heart grow fonder
I need her presense, sometimes too much
daydream of her, my thoughts, they wander

since this angel landed in my world
time has come to a sudden stop
but if you would meet this beautiful girl
I guarantee your jaw would drop

so gosh be ****, and gosh be ******
I love this girl more than a little
she makes me laugh, she makes me smile
for a kiss from her, gosh I'd walk a mile

Gomer LePoet...

Face Book

wandering through my book of life,
looking back through the ages
all the faces I have known,
are pressed here on these tattered pages

my schoolyard friends just goofy kids,
we all grew up on farms
where cute little country girls,
learned how to use their charms

my folks got tired of country ways
decided to make a move,
big city suburbs teenage cats
they danced and worked their groove

all new faces a crazy hectic pace
took a while to find my place,
athletic ventures, new bonding friends
faces in a line that never ends

some faces were fat and chunky
some even looked like a monkey,
in my book of days gone past
memories that will always last

some buddies who were lost to war
girlfriends sitting on the hood of my car,
mom and pop both getting old
building snowmen in the cold

book of faces old and new
brothers and sisters and party drunks,
hell there might even be one of you
old GI buddies sitting on their bunks  

look, here's one of my old band
long haired hippies happy and ******,
times back then were oh so grand
on old guitars borrowed and loaned    

cousins, children, and friends long gone
this face book is never ending,
adding new ones almost every day
once in my book, in my heart they'll stay

Gomer LePoet...

Okie Girl

When I look at you,
I see my version of heaven
with all the stars that fill the skies
right there in your eyes

When I look at you,
I see my dreams come true
everything I ever wanted
everything I ever needed

When I look at you,
I see the sadness on your face
I hear the tears come falling down
the tears I sometimes cause

When I look at you,
I feel the pain you have inside you
I hear the laughter you sometimes release
the laughter I sometimes create

When I look at you,
I weep because I cannot have you
I cry because I cannot please you
feelings of ineptness fill my mind

When I look at you,
I know I have no answers
no ways of resolution
to fill your void

When I look at you,
I condemn the day I wandered in
into your life to complicate
into your world where I had no place

When I look at you,
I know no way to step aside
to leave where I do not belong
to put things back where they were  

When I look at you,
I wonder how are lives will ever be
ever be the same again
ever be the way we want them to be

When I look at you I know
I cannot ever be with you
I do not want to be without you
I depise my life and the mess I have made

when I look at you
I wonder if you will ever forgive me
I wonder how I will go on if you don't
I know how much I love you


Gomer LePoet...

Have I told you

Its like I've had VanWinkle's disease ,
suddenly you' have  awakend my mind
I suddenly notice, this beatutiful woman
where have I been, took me too long to find

you've been standing, right here beside me
must have been keeping, my head in the sand
now all the momories are returning
if I reach out, will you take my hand

I can't understand, why I make it so hard
I can't seem to say, the words that I feel
the thought's been there, seems I hide my card
you've been waiting for me to shut up and deal

have I told you lately, how much I love you
have I said to you, your still in my dream
I'm a such a fool to have gambled you'd be here
I have forgotten that we are a team

Gomer LePoet...

Taking Chances

when we were young, full of vim and vigger
we could not wait, until we were bigger
few things frightened us, we were made out of steel
seeking excitement, we wanted to feel

short on brainpower, but strong blood and guts
we didn't care, if we were knocked on our butts
we'd get right back up, and try it again
from climbing a tree, to commiting a sin

now we are older, the chances more measured
simple things then, now are more treasured
being more careful, with much more to risk
keeping things hidden, on a backup hard disk

are we smarter now, or just a whole lot more boring
have we lost our zest, spending time hiding and snoring
afraid to take chances, throw our hearts in the ring
seeking out ways, to make our hearts sing

I don't want to die, having too many regrets
being so careful, simply hedgeing my bets
let them all snicker, and call me a fool
I want to live life, bending some of the rules

put on that parachute, take that big leap,
take some missed chances, before that last sleep
look that special friend, square in the eye
tell them I love you, let your heart fly  

Gomer LePoet...

Gambale

he comes from the land down under
a golden axe is in his hand
creating his centrifugal funk
all across his note drenched land

he completed his Italian job
sending everyone high fives
while schmoozing in the white room
high powered electric jives

Nunzia was by his side
he was his right hand man
except of course when making love
inside Lydia's love van

one of the great explorers
of this final wild frontier
like a crouching jaguar
keeping his mind so clear

the magical slinging weapon
faster than an arrow
the vibrations pierced through the skin
down inside the marrow

the thunder current crashing
this pathfinder with attitude
it was dawn over the Nullarbor
at crusing altitude

conducting naughty business
for all those who seek to hear
Kuranda is the place you'll find
his vision so perfectly clear

for his right of passages
a little charmer flying by
a present for the future
noteworker on a natural high

Gomer LePoet...

157 Riverside Avenue

I can hear the razz-ma-tazz piano, ah the sound so sweet
lead up to an old thyme rock tune, making me tap my feet
the clubs have come and gone, changing names over and over
but the music has never left, on this south side of Dover

rock and roll star wanna be's, long hair and fancy pants
kickin out the tunes for us, hoping that we'll dance
here's a tune by rocker Lynyrd, or one by Stevie Ray  
even some old R & B, like Sittin on the dock of the Bay

we sat around and drank our beer, raising hell till 2 a.m.
had to go to work next day, and survive that crap mayhem
it did not really matter though, we'd do it again tonite
cause we were young and feisty, and the music made it all seem right

loud guitars and crashing drums, a fiddle and a flute
as long as it was in the right key, we didn't give a hoot
every Thursday thru Saturday night, drink shots and smoke **** too
it just didn't get any better then, 157 Riverside Avenue  

Gomer LePoet...

All of a Sudden chapter 3

A large white limosine, smoking rubber, screached to a halt.
Rapid rifle and pistol fire was exiting thru the open windows
of the limo, and people all along the street, including myself
were ducking behind lamp posts, mail boxes, down alley ways.
I didn't know if the mysterious blond lady and her companion
had been able to avoid the flying bullets or not. The Limo
screeched it's tires again, and sped away down the street.
I raced over and into the building to see shattered glass, but
no one was in sight. I glanced quickly at the elevator as I
heard the ding and the doors closing. The elevator had
started it's ascent by the time I arrived. I watched the LED
numbers rise and then finally stop at the 13th floor. I pushed
the up button and the elevator began to descend. It had made
no other stops going up and appeared it would not stop
on it's return trip until it arrived at the ground floor.
The bell rang and the door slid open, when all of a sudden...

The cops were now entering the building with they're guns
drawn, and they were looking right at me. Out of shear
terror, I raised my hands as they approached. They asked
me of course who i was, and what I was doing there. They
wanted to know what I knew. For some strange reason,
I told them I knew nothing, I was just passing by, heard
the shots and ducked in here. While 2 of the cops were
questioning me, another had gone to the open and dancing
elevator door. He yelled for his buddies, I followed them.
There lying on the elavator floor was the strange man I
had seen with the mysterious blond. Blood was coming
out of his neck. He was dead alright, with this look of
sheer terror on his wrinkled face. I did not know if he had
been shot by the people in the white limo, or, crap,
I wondered if the blond had anything to do with it.
And I knew she had gotten off the elavator on the13th floor .
At least I thought she did. The cops were looking at me
again suspiciously, when out of the corner of my eye
all of a sudden ...

There she was, sneaking out a side door. How in the hell
did she do that? I thought one of the cops was going to
see her, and again I don't know why, but I stood in front
of him, blocking his view and began asking him questions.
I was already under some suspicion, and my interruption
was not very well accepted. He told me to go sit down
in one of the chairs in the reception area, and he would
be with me shortly. He had questions he wanted to ask
me. Don't leave he said, I will be there in a minute as
soon as my seargent shows up. So I found myself a
stuffed chair and sat down, running the whole scene
through my head again. When all of a sudden ...


Gomer LePoet...

Doctor, oh Doctor

doctor, oh doctor, I'm feeling quite sick
have pains everywhere, even in my finger
my tongue is swollen, I can't even lick
my girlfriend replaced me, with a backup singer

doctor, oh doctor, I'm feeling so sore
had all night ***, with this old drunken lady
she tossed me around, even down on the floor
don't remember her name, but I called her Katie

doctor, oh doctor, I'm missing a sock
he took down my pants, and looked at my knee
he noticed that I, was wearing a ****
rubbed his chin, and said now let me see

doctor, oh doctor, I have a bad case of gas
he looked in my ears, and looked up my nose
said not to worry, that this would soon pass
now I am getting, cramps in my toes

doctor, oh doctor, I have this urge to spit
my stomach is growling, think I need to eat
my head is throbbing, my shirt is quite wet
sweat pouring off me, even my feet

doctor, oh doctor, why these bruises and cuts
I'm starting to feel, a swelling in my wrist
yes my lady has again, shown me the door
don't know what I did, to get her so ******

doctor, oh doctor, I'm bouncing off walls
do you see anything, wrong with my heart
is it broken again, is that the problem
or do I just need, to cut a big ****

Gomer LePoet...

Who gives a ****

so I wrote another winer, boo hoo you twit
think anyone cares, just who gives a ****
I am just a grain, of sand in the wind
my pain is nothing and the horned one just grinned

yeah so now I'm bitter, my attitude *****
I'd kick your ***, for a lousy 5 bucks
its only a flesh wound I've certainly had wurse
I'm a wineing ******, I'll hit you with my purse

got pains in my arms, and I'm a pain in the ***,
had Taco Bell for dinner, and now I got gas
my stomach is rumbling, think I'm sick just a bit
why don't you tell me now, just who gives a ****

the Dow is down, my pressure is high
cholesterol is big, can't eat no sweet pie
I'm a no good ***, full of vinegar and spit
do you really think, anyone gives a royal ****

at least they finally plugged, the leaking of oil
that's what they claim, sing for me Susan Boyle
the problem with peaches, in the middle is a pit
if I choked on one now, just who would give a ****

yes I've had me some wine, and I'm a pathetic dude
my mouth can get foul, yes I can be crude
wonder what it would be like, to be Brad Pitt
I guess one is enough, like who gives a ****

tomorrow is Monday, so glad I don't work
in customer service or a grocery clerk
listen to ******* about the service they get
c'mon now, you think I give a ****      
        
I could probably rant, for more than theirs time
the jaws flapping on, my hands covered in grime
this year's British Open, no Americans seemed fit
it's all over now, and really no one gives a ****...  


Gomer Lepoet...

She Loves me, She Loves me not

Well another chapter has come and gone,
once again ,I have been sent packing
if I were a chess piece, I'd certainly be the pawn,
how many times, too many for tracking

she says  in fact that, she still loves me,
but too many factors have told me no  
disappearing acts into uncertainty
questionable comments, make doubts grow

so many thoughts, leave a heart that is heavy
guess it was just never meant to be
left my dreams in a heap at the levee
my broken twisted soul buried at sea

waves of pain no longer linger
been here to often, and now I am numb
whisked away with a  snap of her fingers
need a ride now, so I stick out my thumb

maybe you, will be the one to take me in
comfort my heart, with your understanding
need a distraction, to make my head spin
need a new melody to make my soul sing

she loves me yes, she loves me not
how can one know, when true love is found
do words of passion really mean a lot
when now I listen, and there is no sound

her birthday is near, and tears fill my eyes
I so wanted to show her, how much I cared
now the present of my love, will need a disguise
she loves me not, empty heart and soul paired  

Gomer LePoet...

All of a Sudden chapter 2

I was sitting at my desk, going through some files.
It was just after noon, when the phone rang.
It was Emma, my friend at the bank where I used to work.
"Gomer" she says. "something wierd is going on".
What is it Emma? "I was sitting at my desk, when this
outdoorsy looking tall blond was at my boss's desk, and I
overrheard her asking about you." when all of a sudden ....

there was a knock on my door. The suddeness startled me
I had not had a visitor to my office in nearly 2 weeks.
"come in" I said. The door opened, and this mousy little
guy wearing a tattered jacket and a Yankee ball cap
entered. "Mr LePoet" he asked. "I have a package for you".
I signed for the package, handed the old boy a $5 bill.
He tipped his cap, smiled and said "Have a nice day"
as he exited my office. The package was in old plain
brown paper, about the size of a hat box. I was about to
cut the twine and open the box when all of a sudden ....
    
looking out my 3rd floor window, down at the street,
I could see the mysterious blond getting out of a
limosine. She was accompanied by an older gentleman
wearing a leather jacket and a fedora. They seemed to
be in a hurry and it appeared that the man had a firm
grip on the dames left arm, almost pulling her along.
They were headed for the 20 something story building
accross the street. I thought just maybe if I ran down the
stairs I could catch up with them and find out what was
going on. I ran down the stairs, taking 5 steps at a time,
and when I reached the street level I saw them just
entering the building. I started to yell, when all of a sudden ...  

Gomer LePoet...

All of a Sudden

I was on my way to work, standing on the corner
waiting for the walk like to flash before crossing
I glanced over my left shoulder to check the traffic
before proceeding forward, when all of a sudden

there you were, a double-take if ever there was
eye-grabbing, breath-taking golden-haired goddess
I could not help but stare at her, even though I audibly
told myself do not stare at her you bumbling fool ...

Ir was 2 am when I awoke in a chilling sweat. The sheets
were soaked as my body was drenched. I had been having
this horrible dream, no nightmare. I was trying to evade
these South Equdorian rebels, who though I was some
sort of spy for the CIA, the FBI, NSC or something.
I had ducked in some heavy brush, when all of a sudden

there you were, the golden goddess I had seen this
morning while waiting to cross the street. You were
signaling to me to stay down, with your finger over
your lips telling me to stay quiet...

Ah Friday night, two tickets to see the Boston Red Sox
at Fenway park. What a way to spend an evening.
A co-worker who I had dated several times had scored
two box seat tickets from her boss at the Bank.
At the end of the 3rd inning, I told Emma I was going
to get us a couple of dogs and beers and strecth my legs
I walked up the ramp to the concession stand and got
in line. I looked over at the next line, when all of a sudden

there you were, this was the third time in 3 days that
we had crossed paths. Coincidence? What's the odds?
Something was going on and I needed to find out
what that something was. I decided I was going to
stop her and ask what was going on. I took my eyes
off of her for only a brief couple of seconds, but when
I looked back, she was nowhere in sight. I mean nowhere...

Gomer LePoet...

Rosanna Danna Danna – Peas on Earth

Hi, I'm Rosanna Danna Danna
and I've got a complaint to make
I'm all for a good balanced meal
and all the vitamins you take

now I like my veggies
like them an awful lot
but think you should try different ones
not just the ones you got

like I'm always hearing someone say
why can't we just have Peas on Earth
I don't think that's fair at all
need other ones too to help control your girth

I mean what's wrong with yellow corn
and what about string beans too
they're chunk full of nutrients
and they taste real good in stew

you can put asparagus on a plate
cover it up with butter
even okra would be alright
do you think I stutter

I mean I just don't understand it
why is all about Peas
everywhere I go I hear
let's get down on our knees

and bow our heads in silent prayer
and make these special pleas
but I want something else
it's not just about these dam Peas

it just goes to show you
it's always something you see
people need to understand
it's not just only me

excuse me Rosanna,
I think you have it wrong
it's Peace, Peace on Earth
they've been talkin about all along

well then that's different
just you never mind
Peace is a real good thing
I hope it's something we find

Gomer LePoet...

A Key, an Envelope, and a Mouse

I had just gone to the mail box, to pick up the mail
riding in my golf cart, with my mouse by my side

the key was in my left hand, when I tried dodging a snail
I tipped to the left, then to the right, everything I tried

the key flew away, I grabbed my mouse by the tail
but it was no use, watched a pole and my cart collide

the envelope squirted the other way, reaching to no avail
I bounced out the other side, and landed right on my pride

I was lying flat on my back , with my arms I did flail
I hurt my neck, no my arm, no, I think I might have died

maybe I had to much to drink, just one too many ale
maybe it was actually more, my brain was pretty fried

people were now starting to gather, wondered if I needed bail
they were gasping, and yelling, help him up somebody cried

the mouse was licking my face, I heard someone mention jail
could not get my *** to budge, no matter how hard I tried

the envelope was stuck to my head, so was a roofing nail
think I must have wet myself, an idiot, this can't be denied

the key was found up my ****, when removed I started to wail
holy mama mia I yelled, it was stuck and had to be pryed

tipped my cart back on its wheels, the engine sang a funny scale
you sure that you're ok, I'm just fine, you know I lied

grabbed my key, my envelope and mouse, and outa there I hi-tail
pretended nothing had happend, and continued on my ride    

Gomer LePoet...

Orbitally Re-Arranged

she was sitting there, right in front of me
I reached out, but could not grasp
music floating, from the vision that I see
touched her hand, try to attach a clasp

everything was modifed, not the same as before
orbitally re-arranged, from versions that proceeded
I listen intently, for a knocking on my door
hoping to absorb, her strength I so desperately needed

she is from another place, another place in time
her voice so soothing, accent like ye of times past
trying to remember, when old tree I try to climb
reaching ever higher, a stone I strain to cast

if only she could breath, the sound to mesmerize
she sometimes seems orderly, so meek and yes so mild
the lashes of extreme, try to cover up her eyes
you wonder if beneath it all, there might be something wild  

shifting in demensions, monotomic elelments survive
shaping our minds, with auburn colors on the crown
pure honesty, pure love, no nothing is contrive
waiting for the man from Zaga, to finally touch down

Gomer LePoet...

It must have been a Dream

I was floating out in space
on a pillow of soft white clouds
a golden light shown on my face
above the hoard of cheering crowds

trumpets were sounding everywhere
music that I had never heard before
I could feel touch from out of nowhere
the people clapped and let out a thoundrous roar

Oh, I know it must have been a dream
cause you were there along side of me
this was what I've wanted all along
I did not want to wake up from this dream

we've been neighbors but never ever lovers
you always been just my friend
playin peek-a-boo underneath the covers
I never wanted those days to end

all thru high school we hung around
sometimes we even double dated
talking about our dreams layin on the ground
wrestling around joked about things we hated

Oh, I know it must have been a dream
cause we were there sharing kisses
saying words like baby I love you
I did not want to wake up from this dream

Gomer LePoet...

Ship of Fools

ship of fools , sail into the night
knowing no fear is your downfall
not feeling concern, is your saddend plight
no one to hear your cries or your calls

pleading for mercy, begging for life
the brashness has listed on side
sinking deeper, like the edge of a knife  
your watery grave is where you'll hide

we think we're invincible, we know not of fear
presumptuious us challenging the rules
never learning, when the past has made it clear
forever we sink, oh sad ship of fools

Gomer LePoet...

Despicable Me

I hate cats, I hate dogs
I try stepping on old bull frogs
I am rotten, can't you see
I refer to myself as despicable me

can't stand laughing, can't stand noise
hate little girls and hate little boys
crippled old woman drive me crazy
I call myself despicable me

if you're happy, it makes me mad
like making you cry, like makin you sad
yes people think that I'm honry
I'm proud of myself, despicable me

get on your roof, I'll steal your ladder
try losing weight, I'll say you look fatter
the only thing that makes me happy
is seeing the reflection of despicable me

hate the beach, hate the sand
try building a castle, I'll step on you hand
blast my music till half past 3
my neighbors cuss at despicable me

Gomer LePoet...

Ionized

my atoms are being supercharged,
can't tell if that's a positive thing
when my electrons receive a gain,
I have this tendancy to dance and sing

particles here and particles there,
paired or not doesn't matter
even or odd is still the same,
hard to stablizie with all the clatter

cosmic dust results from collisions,  
now the protons are taking charge
its the same thing for the molecules,
the small as well as the large

the charging particle is the ion,
can't deny there is an attraction
like the soul of a searching lover,
reaching for it's matching faction

the lips caress the positive,
while the eyes seek out connection
life from the past, life from the future,
once again brought into the collection

sparkling kisses in the comets tail,
the fiery head's mission realized  
supernova explosions are all around,
good God almighty, I've been ionized

Gomer LePoet...

A Fast Moving Train

I was walking along on Avenue D
my mind was on some things left behind
I did not notice you walking my way
when I saw you I nearly lost my mind

a tall good looking **** blonde
with legs that went all the way to the ground
I tried to say hello to you
but my mouth wasn't connected I found

I was hit by a fast moving train
my heart left my body to float in the sky
if only I could have said what was in my brain
now I'm standing here, now I'm left standing here

I turned around and watched you walk away
you glanced back over your shoulder
you gave me a wink and a smile
I was thinking boy I wish I could hold her

I started running just as fast as I can
to catch up and ask you your name
I wanted to know if I could take you out
just call me Samantha, my heart was aflame

I was hit by a fast moving train
my heart left my body to float in the sky
if only I could have said what was in my brain
now I'm in heaven, now I'm in heaven

Gomer LePoet...

A Train Wreck

I know the last time I talked to you
I was pining for this lady,
I fell head over heals, for that country girl smile

We were fast in love
you know I don't mean maybe,
everything was going great, at least for a while

Then she started backing away, I was standing there all alone

I thought that we might be as one
live our lives together,
but it just didn't work out, there were complications

for resolving reason we did not see
a compromising answer,
we did not part ways, with any expectations

yes we both started backing away, no longer was I standing there alone

A head on collision caused us both a pain in the neck
obvious to you and me there would be no glory
we were both headed for a big fat train wreck
I know it's such a sad sad story

well now I'm back in ***** tonks
searching for another,
it just gets to **** lonely, being all alone

need someone to share with
a life of loving laughter,
excuse me while I get this, I'm wanted on the phone

We were getting closer now, should we go through with this again  

A head on collision caused us both a pain in the neck
obvious to you and me there would be no glory
we were both headed for a big fat train wreck
I know it's such a sad sad story
we both know its a sad sad story

Gomer LePoet...

Rantings

now I'm hoping not to offend anyone
but this has been a really bad day,
and I'm fixin to climb up the *** of someone
don't really care if you wanna hear what I say

my old dog crapped in the hallway  
looked at me and gave me this smile,
she said I'm gonna do this all day
leaving you pile upon pile

the mechanic said my vehicle was broken
to fix it will cost you more than its worth,
he smiled so I thought I might smoke him
pound his *** down to the earth

my girlfriend said I was crazy
I wanted more than she had,
from that point my mind went kinda hazy
a 12 pack of Pabst and I'm mad

Now I'm trying to explain my bad humor
understand why I talk like a fool,
feels like I have a brain tumor
crap, I almost fell off this stool

tomorrow I'll have a need for a head shrink
I probably won't remember a thing,
but right now give me more hard ***** to drink
some for you too cause I'm gonna sing

well this is my work of wild whining
I  need me someone to blame,
I've been kicked to the curb to drunk for dinning,
I was a good guy,  I'll stay the same.

Gomer LePoet...

The Final Call

excuse me please John, I gotta get this call
it's from my sweet baby, I'll take it in the hall

hey there, how are you, is everything allright
I've been concerned, haven't talked since last nite

I've been waiting all day, thought maybe somethings wrong
while I was waiting, I was working on this song

what time should I pick you up for dinner tonite
going to your favorite, Aerospace in Flight

what do you mean, you cannot make our date,
but, but baby, it's okay I'll wait

have I done something wrong, to make you so upset
was I supposed to be somewhere, and did I forget

I do not unerstand you, how can you flip that switch
yesterday you loved me, now you're acting like a *****

you whispered to me sweet nothings, said I was your man
now you say I pressure you, you're gonna chunk it in the can  

this is not the first time, that you have treated me this way
I do not understand the rules, of this constant game you play

but maybe it's the last time, don't come back around my door
I do not want to let you in, no I do not anymore

I'm not a **** in your garden, that you can pull and toss aside
you broke my heart one more time, even I have some pride

I tried to be a good guy, bang my head against the wall
I hope your life will work out, this is the Final Call

Gomer LePoet...

Pathetic Mess

I got egg on my face,
I'm a big disgrace,
hear my name slandered, all over the place

got stains on my shirt,
from last nite's dessert,
walking round with my head, in outer space

went to the store,
slammed my finger in the door,
everyone there, laughed and pointed

tripped over a stack,
of crunchy Craker Jack,
all contorted, like I'm double-jointed

called my girl last nite,
got into a fight,
she slammed down the phone, said I was an *******

drank whiskey from a glass,
got drunk on my ***,
smoked some ****, in an old hash pipe

then I couldn't get up,
got sick and threw up,
just laid there mad, I was really disgusted

then the cops were there,  
cuffed me to a chair,
you're ******* pal, cause now your busted

yes I am a mess,
and I must confess,
my pockets are empty, got me no money

need to remove this cob,
find me a job,
and oh yeah, a brand new honey

Gomer LePoet...

I Hate My Friggin Isp

I hate my friggin, ISP,
     it's a source, of aggravation
down for this, or down for that,
     satellite is in, wrong constellation
the sun's too far, or it's too brite,
     can't seem to find, the moon tonite
that piece attached, on the left,
     should have been put, on the right

Yes my ISP is a royal pain, I'm sure that you know
but you see it's always the same, no matter where you go

gave a call, said they'd be here,
     if not today, then real soon
said can you please, be a little clearer,
     same old song, with a different tune
so hot today, got jobs stacked high,
     gee I'm sitting here, wondering why
excuse me sir, but I have to go now,
     it's time for lunch, gonna eat me some pie  

Yes my ISP is a royal pain I'm sure that you know
but it's always the same no matter where you go    

two days later, this guy shows up,
     says I'm here, to fix you good
studies his diagram, I says hey, wus up,
     somethings wrong, doesn't look like it should
you gotta be kiddin me, are you nuts,
     don't understand, how could this be
let me look more, while I smoke some butts,
     then I'll have to call it in, while I watch TV

Yes my ISP is a royal pain I'm sure that you know
but it's always the same no matter where you go  

Gomer LePoet...

Pyrophosphite/Pyrophosphate

Souces of energy, since the beginning of time
chemical processors of matter within
that God did make these, is no mystery of mine
the maker of all things, and that includes sin

all living beings require energy transported
from a tiny bacteria, to a complex human
enzymes with chemical energy reported
how this all happpens, I have no clue man

Pyrophosphate is a simple molecule, an early precursor
consumed by the mystery of organic matter  
but there is something more simple, a complex rehearser
taken away the theories of the dreams they now scatter

Pyrophosphite is smarter, no enzymes required
hydrogen is more bountiful exploding with life
no catylyst needed, to process before tired
water molucules is husband to phosphates wife

does all of this matter, does the matter mean much
when the bottom line ascends to the top
is this too deep, am I way out of touch
science is in me, I cant make it stop

Gomer Lepoet...

Is there a reason

is there an aisle, for the pile, for just a while
a box, that holds rocks, and room for my socks
  a clamp, to put on my cramp, hold my stamp
   a day, when I can say, it's gone my way
    an eye, made for a fly, without a sty
     a flag, or a paper bag, to cover the drag queen  
      a goat, that you know will float, without a boat
       a house, for my mouse, a lacy blouse
        an imagination, for a nation, needing salvation
         a jeepers, without a creepers, and no peepers
          a kite, that flies alnight, until it's right
           a lesson, learned from confesson, without guessin
            a mole, in every hole, who likes rock and roll
           a nerd, who looks like a bird, that's what I heard
          an oil, our waters will boil, you've ruined the soil  
           a potion, or a lotion, that enhances the motion
          a queen, whos really keen, on old James Dean
         a reason, for commiting treason, in any season  
        a space, in this place, to put my face
       a time, to do my rhyme, is it a crime
      an Ull, unknown to Krull, whose blade is dull  
     a vacuum, in every room, or just a broom
    a way, to ever say, you need not pray
   a Xe, to strong for me, a trace I see
  a yak, the color black, behind my back
a zama, in Alabama, Phi Slamma Jamma

Gomer LePoet...

Peanut Butter and Jam

I like peanut butter, I like toast with jam
don't care too much for brocolli on a stick
or a hunk of liver that's really thick
I really like swiss cheese on ham

dont like the spill of oil, don't like it one **** bit
like the smile of small young child with their mother
that is a smile that is like no other
hated wrestling getting my face in the arm pit

loved coping a buzz and hearing music from a live band
loved the feel of my loved ones soft lips on mine
its cool watching old movies about Franenstien
always liked everything I tasted with the Nestles brand

I hate wars and senseless killing it just makes no ******* sense
I don't like it when my jockey shorts ride up my crack
I get jealous of someones fame when I think they are a hack
I look at my final desitination with no false pretense

going to the moon would be such a spiritual thing
meeting my president would be such a special honor
it would be fun playing tennis with Jimmy Connor
how I would love to be on stage with friends and sing

wish I could have met Jesus Christ the man
his mistreatment on any level was way to cruel
if I drink to much I have a tendency to drool
hey remember the Nanny her name was Nan

the Little Rascals were such silly kids,
their Woman Haters Club was such a fake
now how long does it take to bake a cake
too sad when once famous people hit the skids

why does everything taste like chicken fried
will this world recover from the financial woes
will the hopes of all the poor ones in back rows
I thought of death and then I cried

now the words can flow freely for this is who I am
I will never be rich or famous my shoulder I will lend
I will always be here if you are in need of a friend
yes I really really love peanut butter and jam

Gomer Lepoet...

Rantings II

don't wanna sound like an ingrate,
but what have you done for me today
you promised me this magnificent dinner,
then threw a box of macaroni my way

you promised me an evening of hot lovin,
you would wear me out and bring me lots of beer
then when I leaned over to kiss you,
you handed me a ******* and said, here

suddenly you were no longer in the mood,
you had a headache and cramps were here too
I asked how could this have happened so soon,
all you could say to me was “hey *******”  

all thru the rest of the night all you did was *****,
I tried to hide from you in the corner of my den
but you even followed me in there, raising a fuss,
said how can you live like this, in this dam pig pen

I looked around at my guitars and my laptop,
had all my music books stacked up real nice
well yes, there were some candy wrappers,
and a day old bowl of pudding made from rice

you said I was totally useless, a useless **** in fact,  
I coward even deeper now, as you told me I was dumb
how in the hell could you ever have married me,
I rolled into the fetal pose, ******* on my thumb  

2 days later I arose, with stubble on my face,
I stumble into the john, and into the mirror I stared
it seemed to take forever for the focus of my eyes,
I jumped back in horror, the picture made me scared

holy crap, what was that, I heard my voice crackle,
sounding like a rusty gate, WD40 should be used
and when I took a second look, afraid what I would see,  
sunken in and swollen, looked like my eyes were bruised  

today is gonna be a different day, this is my intention,
going to shower, shave and put on my poet's hat
it is so quiet now, think she has packed and left
gonna miss her a lot, hope she took her ******* cat

Gomer LePoet...

Heartburn

seems like only yesterday,
     we were drinking in each others love

we just could not get enough,
     we would playfully argue, was it now my turn

our sweaty bodies rolling around
     in contorting every shape and form

now babe when I look at you  
     I just get heartburn

we can't stand to be even be
     in the same room together,

what happened to that craziness
     when we each dressed up in leather

cracking whips and wearing masks,
      pretending to teach and learn

now you know my stomach hurts
       you just give me heartburn

the love has gone and left us cold
       you know how milk can turn

what once was has left us now
       need something for this heartburn
      
        
Gomer LePoet...

Block Party

I seemed to be blocked, I don't know why,
suddenly I have absolutely nothing to say
been pondering ideas, trying to apply,
it's been going on, this whole entire day

went for a nice long drive, to a town up the road,
a little town surrounded by many many lakes
stopped for lunch, set down my tired load,
had baked chicken dinner, and tasty crumb cakes

listening to tunes, from a local country dude,
David Nail is the name, the name he goes by
he's a real cool singer, I like his attitude,
broken hearted lyrics, make you wanna cry

now it seems I'm, beginning to feel free,
words are coming out, from every direction
my toes are tapping, might be time for a party,
need to buy some beer, take up a collection

writing is such a strange strange thing,
sometimes the thoughts explode, they just flow
right now I have, this crazy urge to sing,
maybe I should call my girl, and let her know

how much I love her, how much I really care,
how I wish, she was here right now with me  
has your block now gone away, it's a party take down your hair,
won't you please dance with me, Dreamer can't you see

don't be frightened anymore, if you can just breathe the air,
know the danger is over, I hope so anyway
one more trip around the floor, get out of that chair,
suddenly I'm free again, going to be a super day

Gomer LePoet...

Song & Dance

I am the singer of simple rhyme
writing thoughts staying in time
remembering emotions of days gone by

try telling a story a tune so sweet
wishing the words knock you of your feet
sometimes so deep down that they make you cry

turn it all around once again
twin guitars can make you spin

she was a dancer in my dream
bright red lips and skin like cream
she had every move a lover could need

educated woman with soft blue eyes
the way she moved behind a disguise
she picked my number I had to concede

turn it over one more time
garden of words perfect rhyme  

we were made for each other we were the perfect match
was this all for real there must be some sort of catch
rolled into a cloudless sky could not pass this chance  
in my dreams we were the perfect song and dance

like a double mirror my songs reflect me
hidden thoughts disguised so you cant see
but it is all there you just have to look

in the desert of life somtimes you get lost  
for every hope there is always a cost
never be sorry for the chances that you took

never seen such a beautiful smile
close my eyes for just a while

we were made for each other we were the perfect match
was this all for real there must be some sort of catch
rolled into a cloudless sky could not pass this chance  
in my dreams we were the perfect song and dance

Gomer LePoet...

And The Winner Is

competition
trying to get ahead
fighting for our lives
can we make a difference

searching
what's the right way
is this all just a dream
think of a way to explain

dreaming
will I find the answer
is my mind really this feeble
sometimes it is just a bit to much

winning
is there really a winner
just what did you win
show me the prize you won

future
is there an ending
when will the end occur
will we know or go to waste

faith
faith in made up stories
I believe in the maker
but just what is the purpose

knowledge
boy is this a joke
some think they know
what fools just take a look around

caring
for every living creature
this is what God is all about
this is what I feel is right  

aliens
we search for them
look into our own world
they are everywhere you see

beauty
what a beautiful world
look at everything you see
look into the mirror

winner
you and I
I will raise my hand
and the winner is....

Gomer LePoet

It's Good to be the Queen

We talked before about The kings of old,
    the highest of all classes

as we later found most of these pretentious fools,
     were proved to be big *****

the Queens knew how to live as well,
     and grabbed  their share of lovers

her bedroom was empty if she wanted,
     else she was cleansed by tongues of  others


they begged "my queen  have you had enough",
     she made their poor hearts quiver

she layed there in her warm lovely gown,
     and there naked bodies would shiver

when one would, complain out loud,
     do you take me like chopped liver

her command to the general in charge,
     and from his tool he'd cut a sliver

don't want no knowledge of your lip,
     except when pressed upon my own

and after you, have pleased me well,
     you've made this woman moan

"oh my Lady, you are so good",
      "your sweet flower is so clean"

"ah yes young man, you are correct,
      it's good to be the Queen"

Gomer LePoet...

Acrostic

Assimilation of mind to further the agenda of the few

Certification that retrieval of private information is not all they do  

    Relying on sources that can never live up to expectations

       Obligations heavily burdened the shoulders of all nations

          Senseless removal of alternate energy generation

             Thoughtless caring of blight of character destrucion

                 Improbabilites of reaching goals of the faithful

                    Clinging desperately for the return of the saviour

Gomer LePoet...

I'm Gonna Get You Sucker

you've been giving me a mouthful
steppin on my crack
tired of your *******
tellin you get back
don't stick those lips out at me
no don't show me how to pucker
if you don't give me room
I'm gonna get you sucker

you complain all the time
you love to **** and moan
your words are cuttin into me
all the way to the bone
I'm not your steppin stone
I'm no mother-trucker
but if you don't get outa my face
I'm gonna get you sucker

you want more than I can give
you call me a grunge
you think you can just give a squeeze
and drain me like a sponge
I try my best to tune you out
but you're like a bronco-bucker
get your *** off my back
or I'm gonna get you sucker

Gomer LePoet...

Maphrodite's  Child

I am no greek goddess of love
neither am I a god
not quite sure how I got this way
maybe eating too much scrod

I like wearing frilly things
I also like to fight
owner of many golden rings
I'll kick your *** for spite

am I this or am I that
I do not really know
like a ****** I am fat
but some call me a **

I have no dangling participle
nor have I glove of fur
nothing to yank or dip into
yet my emotions stir

I might take an operation
to see how it would be
I'm leaning toward a manly man  
have an add-a-****-to-me

but I'll still wear my flowered skirts
and lacy underware like this
but when I'm out with the boys
I can stand and take a ****

yes I will be a legend
a kick *** girl gone wild
people will stand and point at me
there goes maphrodite's child

Gomer LePoet...

Nervous Breakdown

Thanks to everyone who has been so kind,
thanks to all my friends but now I find,
my mental state is way out of whack,
its a real good thing I d ont smoke crack

but my head is ******* feeling like lost,
maybe I'm make believe like Jack Frost,
cause the real world is becoming to much,
feeling like I'm completely out of touch

I hear music and it brings me tears,
these sweet sweet sounds, rolling thru my ears,
I reach out to touch and I reach to far,
thinking like I'm really some big rock star

and though they are polite, and mostly kind,
I know they think, I have lost my mind,
I'm searching too hard, to find someone,
I reach out to touch, and then they run

so it's appearently time, for the ****** bin,
maybe just one more glass of dry gin,
I'd put on my pants and head out to town,
but I think Im busy, having a nervous breakdown

Gomer LePoet...

Little Green Light

Surfing with the Beach Boys, surfing on the net,
in my little deuce coup, or a shiny new corvette,
stopping for some burgers, or maybe some spaghet,
riding on a surfboard, or a fancy water jet

stopping at a music site, or a page of ****,
did this all happen, before you were even born,
now you're at the chat site, looking so forlorn,
waiting, waiting, waiting, all you can say is ****

waiting for you girlfriend, or your boyfriend all night,
wondering if they might have, missed the early flight,
then it finally happens, your heart jumps with delight,
right there in front of you, is the flash of little green light  

you just cant wait to say, I'm so glad you're here,
like the one on the other side, was sitting very near,
you can sit back now, chat and drink a beer,
that little green light, bringing smiles and good cheer

Gomer LePoet...

I wanted to be

I wanted to be a cowboy, rassle cows to the ground,
I wanted to be a pilot, fly those airships all around

I wanted to be a star, hit the ***** so very far,
I wanted to be a driver, burning rubber in my car

I wanted to be a doctor, save the lives of those in need,
I wanted to be a lawyer, when I was thinking gr eed

I wanted to be the mayor, take my city to the top,
I wanted to be an actor, hope I don't appear in a flop

I wanted to be a fireman, save the children from the fires,
I wanted to be a copper, catch the robbers, cheats and liars

I wanted to be a priest, help the sinners save they're souls,
I wanted to be a lover, playing the lead man roles,

I wanted to be a father, raise my children to be proud,
I wanted to be a weather guy, explaining the evening cloud

I wanted to be scientist, discover new things in this life,
I wanted to be a husband, have me a pretty wife

I wanted to be a builder, bridges, and buildings reaching high,
I wanted to be a  analyst, wondering why people cry

I wanted to be a soldier, keeping my country from harm,
I wanted to be a human, helping my fellow man stay warm

Gomer LePoet...

Ding ****

ding ****, the witch is dead,
fell on her ***, and banged her head,
tripped on her lying tongue, is what I heard

she was a fool, a no good twit,
always trying, to stir up ****,
well the **** thickened up, and became a ****

goats eyes, and giant bats *****,
that she found, scavenging halls,
she never left me a note, no not one dam word

she's gone for good, and that is cool,
no longer around, to yank my tool,
if I would see her now, I'd flip her the bird

riding her broom, across the sky,
warts on her chin, a patch on one eye,
she had her own pair of *****, and maybe a third

she drank like a fish, almost always drunk,
her breath smelled bad, like the scent of a skunk,
never made any sense, her words constantly slurred

now that she's gone, hold my hand on my heart,
in memory of her, I cut a big old ****,
ding **** you old *****, signed the nerd

Gomer LePoet...

Boy is my *** fat

ten pancakes for breakfast, washed down with malted shake
by the end of first class, I was searching for some cake
wasn't paying attention, tripped over old black cat
had a hard time getting up, cause my *** is so fat

kids are staring at me, Walking through the halls
rumbeling thunder, stuff falling off the walls
a large dose of poundage, with my backwards baseball hat
trying to look so cool, but boy is my *** fat

saw Sally Sumter, on my way to advanced math 2
said I had an algorithm, I'd like to run by you
wanted to stick around a while, you know like maybe chat,
she said I really like you, but boy is your *** fat

tried to skip gym class, said I had no ****
did not know the numbers, to my combination lock
coach said that's no reason, I ain't buying that
one thing i will say though, boy is your *** fat

its the story of my life, all people pokin fun
ask me how much I weigh, do you way a ton
want to tell them *******, but they'd throw me on the mat
not very agile, cause my *** is so **** fat

Gomer Lepoet

Arkansas Traveler (a violet love ointment)

I wanted to write a thank you note
to my friend with a golden heart
her words and passion for this world
retold by me are only a feeble start

with skilled pen she writes with wit
she writes with love for all
stories of ancient fabled worlds
and cries for political *****

she wants a revolution
not a battle of knives or guns
there seems to be room inside her heart
for all forgotten ones

music is her language
across the universe
she reaches out her hand
to touch us with every verse

the civil war makes her sad
as it should be for all
there is no understanding
of this wasteful wounded fall

my reaching out and thanking her
is just a word of pleasure
for all the great things she has said
her words I'll allways treasure  

Gomer LePoet...

Flashers

Everyone knows how to spot one of these
with their raincoats on down to their knees
walking thru the park with their roamin eyes

or is it the cute blonde sitting at the bar
cruisin the roads with her convertible car
pull next to her and she'll show ya her thighs

he'll walk up to you with a big old smile
open it up and stand there a while
and say "hey there" just what do you think

she'll give you a smile make you think you're the one
might get a chance to put your weinner in her bun
she's so hot and believes her **** don't stink

well they're both disappointments not really much there
his dongs probably short as if you would really care
she's just playing with your hungry heart

yeah he pretends that he's so well endowed
likes to show himself off to a crowd
they're both phony phuckers from the start

Gomer LePoet...