Bye.

I'm your mother,
You're my son
In fantasy we are as one.

Stay away,
We cancel out,
Keep a distance safe with me.

I'm contracted
To contract,
I can't let you out again.

I'm a black hole.
I'm infertile.
Won't you please
Just be my sun?

So clean and
Oblique in stature.
Quiet as a pulse.

You're fluent in burns,
The way planets are fluent
In flight.
Not like birds,
Like cherubs.

The whipped dark marble,
Like metal butter,
Splashes a gate
Between us and
The garden maze.

memories.
forgotten freedom.
caught insomnia
in a mausoleum,
fighting nausea.
am i doin well?
drool against my will
until the light floods in.

sunday tunnel vision.
perfect colorblind.
ill-prepared and scared.
falling way too high.
don't change the subject.
my stomachs upset.
burning lovesick.
stick together eye to eye.

stitch letters together
into dated wisdom.
winds of change approaching,
much too proud to listen.
mortgage mortuaries,
buried in my debt.
have you ever slept?
i dreamt a dream then i forgot.

Even when I use pencil
I'd rather douse atrocities in graphite hell
Than succumb to the white-pink corrector god.

To reveal myself my weakness
Is nature's impression on the mattress
Of my unconscious mind.

I approach,
And carve a "Hello"
Out of my marble voice.
Before an exchange is made past introduction,
I stand there,
Paralyzed.

Plunging inward,
Hands crawling through the dark,
Gliding between muscle and nerve,
***** and blood,
Wrapped between and under
A bouquet of bone,
Traveling the tunnels behind my chest,
Spiraling humbly in and out of every rib
In the shape of the Special Beam.

Nesting,
Coddled in a diaphragm home,
My voice rocking back and forth
With a death grip on its shins,
Knees under chin,
Mumbling grievances of social disorder.

Courage dilutes in exhales,
Each breath shorter than the last,
Only enough brave in veins to utter
"Nevermind",
As I turn and walk away.

The day begins
And "God: The Television Show" screams,

"Its feeding time,
Shut the **** up,

Pay your taxes,
Pray to the dead feds,

Don't look this way,
Don't believe that way.

Stay docile and keep your
MUZZLES ON!"

"My way is the right way
and there is no such thing as left"

My gut tells me God
Doesn't watch her own show.

I've turned left,
And I've been left
To my devices.

Death is tomorrow,
Life is today,

Now.
Here, crooning symmetry,
I'll stay.

2000 years ago,
If you sneezed around Jesus,
Were you guaranteed a spot in Heaven?

If a military veteran
with P.T.S.D. dresses in drag,
Is he a traumaqueen?

If "inhumane" means
"Not like a human",
How come only humans
Can be inhumane?

Gaping valleys,
Asylum-colored.

Spaced enough to
Let daytime prevail
And to let horrors imagine themselves
In the black lung membrane
Of 3 a.m.

maths no skeleton key.
sometimes dividing subtracts meaning
from everything.

I stepped outside in my gloom fuzz,
With black clouds strapped to my back.
I even grimace at children nowadays.

On the path to my mailbox,
Hunched over myself,
Eyes chained to the pavement,
I felt the urge to glare at the sun
And witness as it glared right back.

A sunbeam of empathy,
Drooling light into my bruises,
She slapped me with her
Warm-honey white palm,
And for the first time this year
I'm glad to be alive.

At times,
Cold departures leave
A stain of faith.
You're departure,
However hellish,
Remains immaculate,
Even as you turn
With a blizzard on your heel,
Kicking Winter in
My eye.

You replace him up there.
Not in piety but
In hierarchy,
Of the royal void breed.
I tailor the nails to your palm
And broken foot.
Drying like slaughterhouse
Meat on my clothesline.

I found our nature
Profoundly meaningless.
Was it transcendence?
Algor Mortis?
Or did my new eyes
Survive incubation?
I await the birth pangs
Of sight,
Callousing the whole,
From lid to lash.

I thought you were a cat,
but now I see you're not.

You have my favorite haircut,
Its reminds me of important women I knew,
Like a teacher I vaguely recall
From my hazy infancy.
My brain was still soft.

But I do remember her hair,
Even though her face is blurred.
Lemon yellow,
It was years before i heard the word blonde.

I picture you,
Slipping fingers through your mane,
Like a cat slips through a fence.

Guilt was my new device,
Left outside my habitat.
Falling chest first,
Heavy hearts killed the acrobats.

Its closing in.
I'm still moving inside.
Closed off
With clothes on
Top of clothes
On top of me.
I've outgrown
Control.
But I'm getting closer
To the
Closer.

I take my time
as time takes me.

Life is wildfire
For roots of the soul.

The flames will
eat the fossils.

The sea cooked
To perfection embodied.

Night's purple marrow,
Is ours to feast,

The meat is for
The shadow of a flower.

I've broken both knees
Building this fortress so

Sleep deep dandelion,
Dreams can't burn you here.

The humor flies right over heads,
Like leaves off trees much too overgrown.
Quick to shoot and stab in darkness,
Naked kitchen table manners,
Plastic flaccid people actors,
Vacant star shaped locket
Picture frames a blackmail recipient.
Forget your names for heavens sake.
Preface to my new face in tastelessness,
Fragrant little boomer baby.

im dreamt by coincidence -
skeleton from my daddy.

beached monkey,
buring forests in the alley.

the ruin of minutes,
i'll have the second hand smoked

on a clock for my owner,
in the valley i drew from your mouth.

you hug me like a cave.
i choke you like a rosary.

grass breaks through my face
since I'm not walked on anymore.

Its all cool beans and sour grapes,
Grandma left behind a lot.
"Its not enough to make the month",
But famines worse than
Not enough.
Fuzzy kinescope flashes
Of stone soup,
Beefy greens,
Leafy trees,
And
Chewy allusion.
Bathing in your memory
Like a honey moor.

Don't you leave now,
I'm impatient,
Not a patient in this ward.
Where's my mother?
I feel smothered,
"Not another word from you."
Undeveloped,
I'm enveloped,
Folded in a hazel haze.
A prism prison
Built precision,
Predicated without trust.
My orphan organs
Will demand
Vital signs,
And vitamins.
Leer from your chest,
Scream with my eye,
"Let me in."
"Let me in."
"Let me in."

The sun leaves,
A shadow spills.
Shallow fields buzz and
My thoughts are deep.
Fried my brain like devils.
Who's the chicken now,
Make your riches bow
Who's fooling who.
It's not the sentiment it's the predicate,
Predictable or scripted
Deprived of life and
Gifted.

Draped in wings like curtains,
We fall like feathers hard as stone.
The pure wastes itself, tainted,
And youth will pay the children's toll.
We turn our pages endlessly,
The pages turn us old.

Our Jesus was a fish,
I walked on orange soda.
She walked on strawberry milk,
I shot up coka cola.
We ate sliced up heaven
In the middle of hell.

give it up for the "get down's",
frown with a clown soul,
dont pretend -
clamshells break my friend.

sentenced to life in a paragraph.

get high for the low life's.
i shoot cops through a needle
straight to my heart.

paraphrased a life sentence.

only one lesson lessens.
and time drags and flies away,
one more city to bury
in static dreams .

Every day isn't Halloween.
So please,
Take off the mask for once.
I'd like to gaze your friendly face.

If you have one
Tucked away somewhere,
Next to Christmas decorations
And your emotion collection,
Extend an olive branch ,
Slide on your good personality
And knock my door down.

I'll have knives for hands
that day.

Keep me buried in berries
And candy and soap.

The umber curls atop your head,
That old poppy-tinted mane,
Knotted better than Gordius,
Knotted worse than my neck.

Anxious for my
Afternoon embalming.
Flushed free,
Laying down the masonry
Of trees yet
To be.

I must confess I want a jack and ginger.

My favorite manieur de mots,
Your offspring making
Silk of my spit.
Two book wormholes,
Circumventing travel,
Welding my smoggy sand castle
To the grey island you anchor.
Would you care to
Fatten up Elpis
With me?

I haven't seen the sun for days.
I missed it so much
I forgot how much I hate it.
You're like a cherub
With its guts on the floor.
Like the poppy and
Its black venom.
I tried to get tired,
Now I'm out of steam.
The engine crawls to its feet
To sweat out my insomnia.
Floral engagement.
Married arrangement.
Dystopian harpischord sings
In my ear.
I'll bottle your scent
To make up for my
Dopamine deficiency.
My eyes are fossilized.
Give me
Suboxone with the Irish juice please.

Layin head to face,
We spoonfeed baby food to microwaves.
Catching colds from the blonde bangs,
Jacuzzi anklets & monk beads in teal.
As thought leaves a mark it makes room for walls.
For plain cherry Pop Tarts™ sake,
I beg you,
In the name of the three times removed -  but never named,
For lack of a joke worse than you,
Please,
Get them wounds checked out.

I'm falling like flying.
The ocean above me is singing
In tongues.
I'm praying like dying men.
Different colors of living,
All under suns.

I'm a children's dish,
I'm gaping abyss
I'm a circle feeling out of my element.
I'm an orphans drum
I'm a nameless son
I'm the broken tusk of an elephant.
I'm your swollen eyes
I'm a sacrifice
I'm Mr. Kennedy's last day as president.

I'm an aching head
I'm a dying dog
I'm the feeling that someone is watching you.
I'm a body bag
I'm a copycat
I'm dishonest and I'm the dreams that you hate.
I'm an open wound
I'm a *****'s pet
I am your furniture, show me some respect.

I'm a shadow and a shape
I'm a sheep
I'm awake
I'm you're teeth
I'm alive
I'm the field where you died.

Back in a time
When we knew language
Peace was inevitable.

Can I take a break
And watch you
Split the sea
Into a kaleidoscope
Of blue and green geometry?
I think the sun just blinked,
All was dark for
A second,
A black flash,
A blink of a storm-white eye,
And nobody noticed,
But us.

Too much time at hand
To see my life unravel.

Although I travel eyes to ground,
I seem to get around quite sound.

So it seems my life's a Monet,
Money killed me in a way.

Chimeras cannot fill my belly,
Soon my soul must get to selling.

Govern oceans with the moon,
Until our axis turns with death

Gravity will leak its pressure
As lonely lovers live as lepers.

On a serious note
I'm just playfighting God,
Ring around my iris
Flightless little bird,
Bereaved and slaughtered at a daffodil's foot.
Correct me if I'm right,
Sense was made without me here.
Into sleep I sink,
I can feel the brink approaching.
Stalking through aneurysms bane veil, Dripping dream and stink
and hope.
Blind, naive, native, childhood hope is all I am.
I'm living,
I'm livid,
I'm living,
I'm livid,
I'm living,
I'm livid.

Dreaming death,
I chase the Sun,
To earn my urn.

Without a doubt
The faith was lost
Below the salt.

Dawn's eyes
Not so much Viridian,
Slightly less...
Herbal.
Dusk swims up its favorite tree
And collapses
Dead as death.

Dragon's Breath
Cascades the mountainside
In
Red fury.

The Sun sweats
U.V. afterbirth,
Drought frenzy,
And carmine fissures.
Flooding eyelids,
And my minds eye.

Ethereal starkness
Sunbathes in the
Sundries
Of a maniac.

Dream is but a life,
Severed from congruence and chronology.
Did I imagine my memory?
The adolescent blizzard,
The tar pits of first love,
The prepubescent honeycomb,
The shedding of innocent skin,
The infant cobweb spun by genetics.
Death at the leg of my mate,
Birth among a thousand siblings.

Climbing to the ground
From the sky where i was buried,
Resting in rapid eye ether,
Transparent atmospheres solidify
With ruby whips of gravity.
My reflection in your fingernails,
My face askew in distortion,
Your hand's a house of mirrors,
Peeling at my silhouette.
I'm drinking fire,
As we cremate the sea.

Nirvana becomes panoramic,
The air ripples.
The topaz pillar i held becomes my body pillow,
And I wipe the sleep from my eye.

The dream unstitched,
We sew reality back up,
But the thread gets thin
At night.

no wave, no fun, no plague, no one, no saves, no humdrum dumb-dumb luck.
no you, no them, no peace, no fuss, no just, just, just, just, just, just us.
no duh, no soul, no ghouls, no guts, no sun, know theres no waking up.
corona virus cant unite us.
me and you.
no peace, no fuss.

The
Word
"Worthless"
Is
Worth
Less
Than
Silence,
You
*******.

Without
even trying
she spills the sky
all over
the floor of my home.
Watching
fat oak swell into
nothing,
dripping splintered
gust is
just a pet away.
Sitting
In the corner in a quiver
Until you go.
And if I may
Can I ask you to
burn it again?
I haven't learned a thing
That's not about you.
And if I forget it -
read this in a
Bad mood.

I want to look
myself in the eye,
See myself upside down,
Like a fruit bat,
And I want to know
What I'd think
If i was my shrink,
Paying myself
For an hour of my time.

I want to pray to me,
To see if I'd respond.

I want to **** myself,
To feel if I was good.

I want to lay on my chest,
To see if I'm comfortable.

I want to be at my funeral
To know if it's blue.

Blackout for nine months,
I'm growing inside me.
Pulled out of myself,
I put me in hiding.

If I saw myself
Walking down the street,
I honestly don't know what I would think.