I knew you'd leave....
But staying was a selfish hope....
Thanks for my life back it reminded me....
Once upon a time "trust" meant false pretentions. ..
Home never came with a clear address........
Blood is not what makes a brother.....
Strange addictions now seem common .....
While most things never caused me discomfort.....
Missing you is a reality I know I'll face.....
While I stood in your presence and thought of the end...
What I meant to say is " thank you for being my friend".........

The way it is is not the end i saw before the last kiss.....
You are the last line of defence before a broken heart.......
A lifetime ago i was your prince...... your still my forever....
Why and what are just words against the promise.....
My promise is that I am always the answer for your struggles......
I love you like i just saw the hope in your eyes.........
And my heart breaks every time i remember my mistake.....
I cant be more forward than asking for your hand......
As mine shakes I cant be anything but reserved.....
You are the love I cant answer but with a sonnet.....
A perfect girl a minute in heaven that you let me believe....
6 years later I wont let you go... Lifetime is a weird conversation....
But sit down and talk... Ill hang on every word....
because you may be the voice that trumps what Ive heard....

Another glass on the rocks as the day glows on the horizon
A 5 am whiskey is now a staple into my challenge
If its me versus everyone than a constant buzz seems mandatory
If god knows what the **** im doin out here than he needs to lead
Pillars are what people see themselves perched on like a buzzard of elite
The dollar a paper with a design now makes strong men break.....
The weight of that currency must be heavy it drags them down
Will another zero after that last make the day any longer.....
Does a platinum credit card mean you are finally stronger???
I waste my days to keep my family in status quo
The whole time im really missin my babies grow
The world i see isnt feeling well.......
Like instead of reaching for heaven we turned towards hell.....
But I still head towards a future more than risky.......
I guess Ill get used to that 5 am whiskey.......

Why do you sneak into my brain like a silent assassin
I think about you as I hold someone else, Ineptitudes laughter
Forces me to run from every comfortable embrace
Like a madman poised on certain madness I whimper by myself
With eyes closed I strain to forget your image and breath on my skin
Your light still holds me as I stared for that last time into your eyes
Alcohol and cigarettes are now the sure sign of remembrance
A quick typing keyboard or a dull broken pencil......
Means that I no longer want to be the life of your party
I can no longer shoulder your pain... Missing her seems like everything
And as i Light one more cigarettte and open one more bottle....
No more tears no more thoughts....  I try not to think about it anymore....

Write like a G is the only way I know now
Like the hustle and flow movie is my life.....
A dollar out of a dime when i dont have a cent theory
Makes sense when I see my credit
But all that material paper isnt the goal
A beautiful life i created is my only success
So if I ever make a dollar out of this sense....
It will always be hers.... Thats my theory.......

Losing a friend does not mean **** to me
Friends are made at bus stops and bars
People are easy to replace because every corner has one
But if you called yourself brother then I cant understand
Money is your defence...  Keep it I thought I was deeper...
Yet ALL my brothers laugh at me today
**** em they sit basck and watch success play my fiddle
Laughter is all they have now and stories of a former me
Your memories wont fade I shut the door on you and all the Memories
I can walk faster than the hope I will forgive you
But **** it you made your point..... I wont answer you ANYMORE
Dead to me is the way i will leave it......
And on my headstone it will say "Missed By True Brothers"

Its been a while... Since words could play rhythym to my mind
forgotten is a word remembered but left on a thought
So i could express the minds melody with vocabulary intelligence
But I havent changed the letters and vowels all lead to the same disaster
Just a keyboard scientist at work in his lab of chaos
Being the monster he zapped with too much knowledge and education
Rhymes dont make enough sense to say I TRIED
But beauty is a sentance away in the mind of a poet.......
And tears are streaming from the face of most....
Our words dictate the world most cant see or concieve....
To write is like a breath our words beat like a heart....
They cant be translated into anything but your understanding.....
but being understood is not why I write
This is my soul left somewhere with a pen or a spreadsheet....
I have nothing to hide..... Open book seems too cliche
But as you read the poems in my mind
I cant say you dont know the real person behind them......