When I’m in my solitude
Like when I’m in my room
And that’s why I choose
I love to enter my mind like it’s a separate room
Now when I’m forced to enter my brain
Cause what’s on the outside causes me pain
like when your friends do include you with their other friends
and it feels like i’m circling the drain
like when your high school and you the one that’s lame
and you don’t fit cause you dye your hair every color of the rainbow
and each month it’s never the same
or when your boyfriend breaks up with you
so you have to take a break from interacting with the world and every dude
I don’t have to imagine how it feels when shawty did the exact thing she said she wouldn’t do
and you say **** school
so you tell your mom and your mom tells your school counselor she pages you in her office so you can have someone to talk to
but when I choose to be alone
that’s something I own
that’s something that founded
now when you go to a predominantly white institution and get called ****** on the way to dorm on a college game day
you cant help but to feel other
to acknowledge your color
and feel like you cant relate to another who hasn’t had that experience
you just go to your room but not cause you choose

I want to be in love
I want to be in love
I want to be lying by their side
and know in the purest most pristine depths
of my heart
that they are in love with me too
I want a love that is without doubt and lack
a love that is worth sacrifice
a love that makes me ooze happiness from my pores
and **** rainbows
a love that's exhausting yet invigorating
a love that makes me want to scream
cause I love them so much
and it feels like a burning in my chest
and its physically uncomfortable
and I think
a love that is authentic will suffice as well
one where I am me
and not the me that I think is socially acceptable
the one that is the least bit presentable
the one that's ugly
hideous, even
I want to be me while i'm in love
and I want them to be them in love with me
I want a love where we're not ashamed or cowardly
a flamboyant love
a bright love
one that is so scintillating you can see it from the stars
give me that love
-a.c.

i love you
like you're my flesh and blood
as if you're my sister
we haven't grown up together
yet i feel like i've known you throughout my entire life
there for me through every breakup
let-down
and achievement
i'd do anything for you
and would give you my last if you asked
my best friend
soulmate even
working closely with mother to ensure
i don't do anything detrimental
threatening to beat anybody's ***
if they gave me trouble
and you know I would do it for you
my sun
my heart
my angel
i love you

people don’t understand how hard it is to live like this
to live with different personalities due to the fact that these diseases get to choose how they want to they want to express themselves .
when they want to ruin my relationship
when they want to hinder me from growing and thriving
when they want to ruin my life
it is not fair
though one thing that these illnesses have taught me is that although they cause me to be broken and battered , i am stronger than anyone who crosses my path because i am alive
and i am surviving
and anyone who feels as if i am horrible because these three consume me
imagine thinking someone is horrible because of a chemical imbalance
an insufficiency of a product that should cause me an abundance of happiness
but in its absence, causes me pain and agony
so before you decide to call someone crazy or insane
really think about the possibility of them being born with something that they do not want and shouldn’t
as it is the reason the wish they weren’t born at all
- anna c.

i know you feel that pull
to look at your phone
go on social media
and seek validation from people
individuals who you don’t even need it from
to go to that party
so people can see you
enjoying yourself
when it’s just a facade
and you’re struggling internally
it’s inconsequential
a slave to an idea
you’ve found yourself addicted
to this feeling of people wanting you
when in fact its not necessary
these attempts to stay relevant
these cravings for attention
from women and men
who compliment your looks but
don’t even care about your well being
no need for approval from a lover
a significant other
from anyone
let it go

not just a feeling
its a lifestyle
i live to love
its all i wanna do
but loving this
specific person is
the highlight of
my day
i love you

trying to fill a void
but nothing is sufficient
exhausted
broken
missing a piece
something so vital
why is its presence
so powerful
silence since its been
gone
nothing coursing
through these veins
a gaping hole where
it used to be
the liquid of life
dyes my eyes
crimson
never knew you could
live without a
heart