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your flavor is acidic,
sharp & sweet like lemonade,
& we play a symphony
with violin-hearts,
resonate.

you are the moment of rest
between every breath;
you’re there when you’re not,
I’m lost
when you leave.

where dreams and life collide;
leave your weary bones behind
time has it’s own heartbeat;
every gear will turn, in time
i don’t believe in miracles,
but i believe in you.
i lie there,
it's cold
the window
is open
just a crack

it's a fresh
october night
he's smoking
and oddly,
i feel safe

in his embrace
surrounded
by the eerie
cigarette fumes
warmed by the
bitter taste*
of his breath on
my lips

and i loved him
everyday
i loved him
every night

i'll never second guess,
*not for a minute
I was eclipsed by you.
You came into my life
and extinguished the world I knew.
When I awoke from the dream,
I was transformed.
I opened my eyes and truly saw for the first time.
The blind, with renewed vision.  
A miracle, and no less.
I could breathe for the first time.
All weight was lifted from my chest.
Expectations and reputations, demolished.
I filled my lungs with you.
I inhaled your beauty.
I reached out my hands.
I could feel!
Oh, I could feel!
It was so real, it was magic.
I held you,
and so I held the world within my grasp.
I had only touched disappointment and lies
Before that day.
There was warmth,
You lit me on fire.
The ice thawed from my heart
And melted my walls.
I was free!
You were the one that found the key I had hidden.
I buried it beneath the earth,
Or at the bottom of the ocean,
But you found me.
You unlocked me from my prison.
I was eclipsed by you.
When the sun returned to its place in the sky,
The world looked completely new,
Under the renewed lights.

Nothing could ever compare to the beauty I saw
When you opened my eyes,
and I saw you seeing me.
The image is burned in my retinas.
And now, forever, I shall see you.
Never again to be blinded.
To Zach,
Thank you for freeing me from myself.
Thank you for giving my life purpose.
Thank you for showing me I am worthy.
Thank you for creating life with me,
A life soon to be born that will change everything, forever.
The most important being for the rest of our lives was born from our love.
These are all the things I never say.
I love you.
I love you more every day and it is never ceasing.
I love you.
It’s a building nausea,
from the bottom up.
I feel it coming on,
my face begins to flush.
Eyes watery with rejection,
mouth dry with jealousy.
Hands shaky with anger,
stomach churning violently.
You knew that I was fragile.
You had to know I’d break.
It's like falling into a spider web.
The more you struggle,
the harder it is.

Doctors won't help you.
They'll just give you drugs
that take away the anxiety,
but bring your emotions along with it.

Friends will try and help.
But they can only do so much
before they tell you to get over yourself
and to stop being a baby.

So you'll stay at home,
and smoke your cigarettes
and bite your nails
and take shallow breaths.

All you want
is someone
to put their hand on your shoulder.
To be patient.
To understand,
to kiss you goodnight,
and ruffle your hair in the morning.
All you want is someone to whisper in your ear louder than anxiety already does.
Starve* your ego, wake your pride
Marry death's eternal bride
Wear the ring upon your head

Tighter still it turns you red
Fury fury build your bond
Mold the eyes you rest upon

Take a day or two or three
More than this will set you free
If the blood inside your hands

Bares itself in lonely strands
You have buried nothing then
That is what it means to end

Over, under, up from there
Feet have traveled everywhere
Worn and famished state of mind

Looking for a vital sign
Wrap around the map you made
Circle back, forever fade
proudly
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