alma: Poems

,and ever.

alma Sep 2016

it's crazy how my tears still drowning when i hear a word 'you'
i wanna feel nothing
like literally nothing
i just..
i wanna forget things about myself,
getting lost,
changing my personal identity,
starting a new life,
i don't know
i don't even know it..
i admit it now that
i cant seem to find someone like you
someone that always be there for me
no matter what
no matter how hard i was
but you still there and here..
if you only knew
i'm just sappy knowing that you're happy with her more than mine..
and if you only knew
til these days i haven't met someone that treated me the way you treated me..
i know it sounds crazy that you've done the worst thing ever in my life but the truth is..
what if the worst you is all that i need?
and what if you were the only one who could swim in all of my weaknesses with so much patient?
we've been through so much pressure and still no matter what
you made it like you could worked that out again..
i know 'sorry' means nothing to you anymore
and i know that you're hating me after all this time
but i can't
i just can't..
from the bottom of my heart
please please be the happiest cause you deserve more than mine in this world
i want you to keep that forever
,and ever..

#pastlove #deepfeelings

end of the day,

alma Feb 2017

end of the day,

at the end of the day,
still i'm wondering if everything i do is really 'me'
knowing the fact that i'm doing this with my heart
it doesn't even make sense to feel for me..
here and there,
i have a wish upon the sky to make my wish become a real movie..
a real movie that never have a fake ending.

he;

alma Dec 2016

he;

he is hardly believe in love
at one point he talked to her name
that he never knew how much it means..
he is somewhat
,strange
that he didn't know what it takes to feel the love again..
he such a man with twisted mind
he never thought a woman could ever be 'a' woman..
til' he swim his soul to mine
..it looked somehow distinct.

"I wish"

alma Sep 2016

"I wish"

I wish..
I wish i wasn't a stone cold so i don't have to make you wait for every second, minute, and hour..
I wish..
I wish i could grabbed your arms around me
Like you did to her everyday..
I wish..
I wish i could cuddle with you Like she did with you in the late night..
I wish..
I wish i could have one day to fix everything up
Like you always did to me even when i didn't..
I wish..
I wish i could live inside your emotions
Like she could live inside yours..
I wish..
I wish i could be your bad temper
Like you did to swim inside my weaknesses..
I wish..
I wish i didn't give up too easily with you
Like you'd never did to me (ever)
I wish..
I wish i could be like her
So i don't have to say goodbye to you forever..

#emotions #jealousy #firstlove #deepfeelings

mungkin aku gila (perhaps i'm crazy) // [bahasa]

alma Feb 2017

mungkin aku gila (perhaps i'm crazy) // [bahasa]

mungkin aku gila
semua tidak ada yang sempurna..
bagaimana hati ini bisa berlabuh di kamu?
aku tak ingin mengiginkanmu
lebih dari apapun aku ingin sendiri..
aku tak mau mengulangi kesalahan itu lagi
memang aku harus akui jikalau..
bahwa aku tidak bisa menerima dengan apa adanya
itu bukanlah hal yang buruk
karena aku memang layak..
pantas mendapatkan cinta yang sebenarnya

takkan pernah (wouldn't ever) // [bahasa]

alma Oct 2016

takkan pernah (wouldn't ever) // [bahasa]

memang aku tak pantas
aku bukan yang bisa dimiliki
memiliki pasangan jiwa yang bisa
yang mampu..

selalu kuingat kamu
malam ini yang penuh dengan hati gegana..
aku sekarang percaya
kamu adalah bisa..

berbohong bukanlah pilihanku
hati ini berteriak seolah berkata
..bahwa memang tidak ada yang layak
setelah setahun berlalu sudah kulihat yang ada..

tidak ada dan tidak ada
aku tak mengerti mengapa hati ini terus berteriak..
seolah tidak ingin tidak ada kamu disini

hati memang membutuhkanmu
hati memang tidak bisa menolak
..karena hanya kamu yang mampu berjalan hingga kiamat nanti

dan hanya dirimu yang mampu menyakiti jiwa dan ragaku
takkan ada yang bisa
takkan pernah.

im trying to improve in (bahasa indonesia) hope you guys likey! **

Tidak Pernah Ada (Never Existed) // [bahasa]

alma Jun 2017

Tidak Pernah Ada (Never Existed) // [bahasa]

Hampir lebih separuh hidupku
Tidak ada hati yang ada..
Ya, hati ini sudah terisi sebuah batu yang amat keras
Tetapi bukannya Aku tidak mau ada..

Terkadang Aku termenung sendiri di dalam kesendirian
Sesambil menatap pemandangan yang ada di depan mata
Hati ini terus bertanya-tanya
Sebenarnya apa..

Apa yang Aku inginkan?
Apa yang Aku butuhkan?
Lelaki seperti apa?
Siapa dia?

Kepala ini selalu berbisik bahwa ada saatnya akan hadir
Jiwa ini juga mengatakan untuk tetap menjaganya
Menjaga jiwa dan hati ini untuk suatu raga..
Raga yang tidak bisa ku sentuh keberadaanya

Rasa ini selalu meyakini dia ada
Ya, mungkin di suatu sudut yang sangat tidak terlihat..
Bahkan mugkin tidak ada
Dan tidak pernah..

what i'm feeling (it's just a feeling)

alma Feb 2017

what i'm feeling (it's just a feeling)

My whole body feels okay but there's something inside of me that scream harder than ever. To be honest, i can't feel my heart beat normally, i can't feel my body in the right place, i can't used my brain correctly, i can't feel my hands do things better. Is it normal? it's just a feeling, my feeling. I think i'm missing something, mysterious thing that i can't discover it yet. Everyday, i wonder if there's something i have to know. Something that meant to be and belong to me in this world. And i know it really breaks my heart to know the fact that i don't belong anywhere and everywhere for this time. I just.. i want to belong somewhere where i could be happy and find peace in myself.

what is love?

alma Feb 2017

what is love?

what love really is..
it's not just a word of 'love'
it's surreal
it's untouchable
unconditional..
nothing could last for a while
it ain't a video game to play
it's never having to say "sorry"

— The End —