She desires the world and
she craves the universe, but
doesn't realize what it takes.
Doesn't realize that her hands aren't big enough.
Big enough to carry the despair,
to carry the burden,
the sorrow.

Jumanji was your favorite Robin Williams movie
Mine was Dead Poets Society
You didn’t think it was too interesting
And you fell asleep on my shoulder
When we watched it on a pixilated
2” by 5” screen
Moving at 1 ½ miles per hour
On a bus
Going 5000 frames per second
Over a burnt sandwich chips
We stopped near Michigan and State
To talk about our favourite books
Yours was As I Lay Dying
Mine was The Old Man And The Sea
We talked about the relationship
Between Faulkner
And Hemmingway
And if they ever kissed
Or shared coffee
Or at least thought about it
If Faulkner liked Jumanji
And Hemmingway was partial
To Dead Poets Society
If it turned out
They were chips of a fractured whole
Did Faulkner ever take Hemmingway home?
Does the Hemmingway house still have Faulkner’s toothbrush
On a splintered wooden nightstand?
Did they ever wake up with the wrong socks on the wrong feet
And laugh it off because it was so funny
Were they ever afraid?
Were they ever happy?
Did Faulkner write to Hemmingway
About the Post office?
Did Hemmingway write to Faulkner
About fishing?
“The old man lay dying in the sea”
We wondered if they ever wrote together
Held hands
Traded coffee cups
But you fell asleep
And I kept writing
And watching Dead Poets Society
Wondering if Hemmingway ever would have

vertigo
lack of sleep
but awake
and aware

sickeningly
more than ever
eyes locked open
brain electric

only my stomach rebels
churning in nervous circles

wondered why I was awake

I thought I heard it in your voice--
caring--
plagued by distance

I feel underwater
With time slipping by
Containing of headaches
And lies an kisses
And the only time I get to breathe
Is when I'm alone
And I can see where Im going
(down down down)
I feel useless
And unlovable
Im lost I'm my mistakes
And my torn heart
I lose myself in tears
And fast breaths

if there is one sure act to rekindle your inner peace, start by placing your hands upon the earth. feel the heartbeat of mother nature; accept her grace that travels up your arms as you reach into the soil. let the soft dirt be your beautiful mind and the seeds be your hopes, thoughts, and dreams.

you will feel a connection - an overwhelming sense of déjà-vu, like you have been here before; like you belong here. this is home.

i believe that god and mother nature know each other well, that they live inside everything that grows. be patient, and you will soon see them extending their arms out from the earth to You, bearing open hands full of fruits and flowers for Your soul.