Lives have been taken
Loved ones are gone
As our heros tried to
save them
They were lost
As the fog lifted and
The clouds rolled a
burst of silence went
through us all
No one could speak
Not even flinch
We could still hear
screaming inside our heads
and in our minds we ask ourselves
What just happend?!
The answer?
No one knows

Seclusively we sit
Slightly touching eachother
Starving I turn to the
Sweet scent enticing me
I want to taste those lips
So shy you can't seem to meet my eyes
Softly I place my hand under your chin
Supporting your confidence
Seductively we engage in heavy air
See sweet thing I only bite alittle bit

I woke with a startle
Panicked by the short and shallow breaths I was hearing
Was it happening?Had the day I'd feared most arrived?
Her body once petite
Now a vessel
carrying something far more precious than you or I

A moment barely passed before she tapped my shoulder
and like clockwork I scrambled for a pen and pad
recording the times
Frantic by the results we drove quickly
almost missing stop signs

The labor was a success
but she was not considered blessed
For the true labor pains were soon to come

We had three days of bliss
and as if that baby boy never exists
he was torn away and
dismissed from her aching arms
and placed into a life much simplier for him
A tale for an adoptive Mother and Father

It had finally been unburied
A small box of treasure holding everything once of value to me
mostly crumbled pictures, papers, and cards...
and I began digging through a life now lost
Past lovers,friends,and family I haven't seen in years
now only fading words and images
turning to dust within my hands
Once held so tightly now just a tear
I looked around today and was engulfed by fear
Today will never last and thats a fact

When your gone
I feel it all around me
like the walls whisper your name
and praise
my heart lingers on yearning
through the night
my dreams all capture your face
the faint ghostly touch of your hand
sends chills up my spine
and my body aches until its
graced by your presence
I hate time
and how it plays tricks on our
minds withering in the absent
cold weather distance creates
I've learned I cant live a day
happily without you
around every corner I see your face
haunted and displaced
Please can you promise me just one thing?
Next time you go
Dont leave without me

We sat in an awkward silence
your eyes nudging my mind
and there was nothing
but a wounded dieing desire
I simply exsisted beside you
and the look turned into despair
almost unforgiving
as you strummed a few notes
to cut the air
and I wanted to be more in that moment
to rehash a moment of counterfeit joy
just to fake you
to make you smile
I know you've been working at
this tension for months
but I was blank and breathless
while your stare coasted down to the floor
In a way dismissing me
so I walked off
alone I left you
on Christmas morn

I looked into the sea
and saw a thousand faces reflecting back at me
The cries of many men echoed bouncing off the surface
Sound waves were rippling carried away
Like a whisper in the wind
But gained momentous strength when caught by the current
Pulling and shifting the sands of time
My heart possessed by my mind's third eye
The force of this nature was so sublime
As if passed to me straight from the divine

You could tempt me to the crease of a cliff
and I'd follow your scent mindfulness dismissed
I see your danger
The neon signs
but like an animal I trail you
sure to meet a dismise
I let go and plunge
A slave to lust
while you have me at the end of a loaded gun
My eyes begging you to pull the trigger
and deliver me to the only true forgiver
You are see through plastic
a worm in my casket
whispering sweet nothings that fail to hold my fantasy
I just want your frensy
The exchange of lonesome cleansing
That leaves me bitter and nasty
The kind of love I live to hate
but when you can not have the real thing hate is the only cake
I swear sooner or later they'll burn me at the stake

A stolen heart lost that's in confusion
reaches a conclusion and admits confesses
their delusion and steps into the sun
the rays soak embedding in pores
cleansing and bathing his dismay
in golden hues
the tears and ache begin to reduce
a reclusive event of clarity
live and let live melodies
pierce his eardrums
in silent peace the sirens at bay
freeing him from the sound of the parkway
Liberated

As I walked
I focused on the pain
exploding through out my body
my legs begging to cave
but there was no stopping my pace

I thought of everything
the decisions I've made
and how I couldn't stop the motion
The events now unfolding before me

It's like watching a tidal wave
knowing you can't stop the destruction
nor save the ones about to be hit
all you can do is brace

Waiting for the power of fate
to unleash the course that nature
will now inevitably take
flooding the streets you've paved

Her focus was on the fields of childhood dreams
melting into the sun,while catching grasshopers
playfully she'd dance along
innocence clung to the wisps of her hair
she knew nothing of vanity
only how to find the beauty in the palm of her hand

He came to her from another place
in which he knew so well
and watched her in all her glory and grace
his heart began to fall
and so begins his tales of love
fishing for her song

"You'll learn to love me one day"
he'd say
such an arrogant disreguard
he pulled her away from the field of dreams
and introduced her to the world
estranged she followed blindly into something
so foreign to her

When he finally saw her instead of his reflection
he confessed to what he'd done wrong
and he had grown into a towering tree
from a little shaggy shrub
She touched upon the hot flesh of his cheek
and began to love him from that moment on

For in moments of unbiased honesty like these
even a girl can see a man is born

It's a chase for what you'll never encase
More like hide it away in a box of guilty pleasure
Opened only to shutter at the twisted moralities of others
Yet still you get off to the warping sensation
Fears taken and bent into little pleasure pretzels
Her sickness feeds your addiction for ***** gore
No matter how far you stray you can't help but crave her flavor
It's your panic switch that she cradles
As the lines between whats wrong and right fades equal
With all her red flags soaring you have no other option but surrender
Caught up in her web you'd gladly be devoured

I shy from your piercing gaze
Consumed by passion as I wane from the comforts that once kept me grounded
Flying high on the feelings provoked
When you entered my tomb and evoked a lovers ghost
My room now lit with your radiant presence
As I digress and falter to heavy air leading to the path of least resistance
Hoping that my complexity doesn't **** this flame with cold reluctant bitterness
In which the past has inevitably carved into my character
I left my heart upon my sleeve and my frailty translucent
No matter the cost it was well worth the enchantment
The risk exhilarates and vibrates through my cortex
Turning me on and away from my senses
and when you lifted my chin there was no doubt that I want this
By the heat of your hand I melted into intoxicating madness
Adorned in beads of sweat reflecting my bodies tension
Yearning for lips I cant help but mention
because they've become somewhat of an obsession
I'm scratching at your heart almost desperate for recognition
Swearing that I don't need forever
Just one bright moment

Its all about the virtues,principles,and loyalties
an eloquent man can put on a great show
actors and actresses...

Believeing their own lies as they fall from cheap lips
playing pretend in too big of a shoe
you cant trust those

who take these words and disgrace the definitions
True trust is earned through actions
right there in the moment
when a knight or a fool
demasks himself into his persona and emerges
I hate allies who work on both sides

Its phoney and renders me meaningless
and their words of love?
A trick

Its hard to teach this vocabulary
to people who can't grasp the notion nor
come up with one reason to express the feelings
followed by them
though I try so hard and in desperate attempts
to prove that love is the only reason

The only reason
you'd ever set fire to the feet of jackals

I've fought for their name the pretenders
but mine own?
forgotten or never mention
They dont stand they sit pretty
I can't take much more of it

Fallen she screamed at the disgrace she faced
and at all those terrible things she couldn't change
Remembering sharp if onlys and could've beens
Presently watching time slip through her fingers
The price of one more lesson learned
One more burn
One more unspeakable discern
To derail or sink the remains of a ride stocked full of
lofty declarations and false pride
As she wrenched toward the sky questioning why
All feeling died
and from the ashes something sinister was born

I watched the horizon swallow the last rays of light
Its curve like a woman's hip
Nothing left but the stars,moon,and distant drums
To the beat my body succumbed
The pulse consumed and enraptured me
The tide came in and urged my feet
how could a lady deny such mystery
as the blackened waters submerged my body
I became weightless and free
drifting off into tranquility
Silver shimmered as far as the eye could see
and I lost all fear of drowning

This inescapable anguish - is the price of love - and no matter how many times I surrender - the force keeps lifting me up.

When dreams become undone due to nightmares
and smiles are replaced by distant blank stares
leaving all that you hoped for at your feet
Shattered into tiny reminders of defeat
You seem to lose sight of what it all truly means
yet remember suddenly why you chose apathy
I look around and all I see are hardened hearts that fail to beat
these vicious cycles that **** humanity
Has everyone lost their sanity?

She crept through the bedroom
and tip toed down the hall
carrying a secret
no one knew at all

When she saw result
hands trembling
she began to sulk
wasnt ready

Feeling hijacked
and at an end
her morals collasped
beliefs shaken

In a twilight she woke
having to face the day
Knowing deep down
nothing would ever be the same

I have become a slave to the pen
unraveling and consumed by my thoughts
I'm in constant search of a thought worth having
and indulging in
so sick of the junk food crammed in
My mind is swollen and bloated
fizzing and falling flat
So tired of all this loathing...
trying to find away to make the sun shine again
Faint whispers of my soul say I'm creating black holes again
The mind either a tool or a weapon of mass destruction

I watch the clock as the hours pass
on relentlessly
another night wide awake
as my mind begs for the relief of sleep
unable to think clearly

I watch him and I wonder what
dreams flicker behind his lids
his chest at such a steady rate
I inch closer hoping his peace
would somehow enter me

Atleast one of us can escape to
the beauty of a subconscious plane
where the pain and the worry ceases
and the day ends mercifully

I am so scared of what tomorrow may bring
I am holding onto the night for security
but time unbiasedly keeps dragging me
to a day of answers or more anxiety

He says no matter what he'll stay with me
in a way this brings comfort to me
but it's something I find hard to believe
considering he's always dreamt of having a family

I closed my eyes and drifted back
into the frosted grass and colored leaves
of my childhood memories
crows carrying an obscene melody
as the wind whispers tales of winter
the trees bare the flowers withered
rodents and birds can sense the shiver
busily preparing for the everlasting division
death falls over the land like a plague
and I walk with a smile as the colors rain
respectfully silent as the lushious greens
reduce to compost below my feet
the bountiful summer once again has met its match
as the sun fades off into the distance

The water lay placid
yet beneath the surface surreptitious dangers went unseen
The waders ignored the well known dangers threatening their feet
As they went deeper the creatures observed
The splashing only inviting the lurking predators
They had been told to take caution avoiding the exposure
Instead they leaped into the jaws of the ingenious monster
Leaving their families without relief nor closure
Creating a scene so treacherous it haunted the dreams of children
Their parents cried out in insurmountable pain
As the onlookers perceived them with unrelenting shame

You are soft tone beauty
The kind that leaves them wondering
While they strive for perfection you silently shake
your head knowingly
Grace finds worthy language in your embodiment
Heavy words of whispered pillow talk claim you're heaven sent
Within your eyes your light could guide them all to enlightenment
On the crease of your curvaceous lips lies a grinning secret
You are a haze of euphoria
A touch followed by pure Oxytocin
For a piece of your mind and heart they flock full of anticipation
by the hundreds

Clinging to the edge of sanity
I allow my anger to cradle me
Robbing me of the sun shine
but keeping the pain from
engulfing my mind
you have pushed me way too far

And you are my blood ...
At times I curse my veins
and I strain to maintain
Balance
but your nonsense out weighs
my patients

So badly I wish to leave you
but I am trapped in your web
Woven in scars
God ****** I do have heart!
Even when I dream of writing you off...

When they said they maybe coming home
so many hearts implored
and as they celebrated
I was distracted by
All the balloons flying high in the sky

She sat outside the barber shop
In a silent plea
A statue blowing 2nd hand smoke
Into the faces that be
Almost threatening the men
To cut their white hares
The powerlines hissing as she glared

You deserve so much more than what you settled for
I cant even begin to understand why you accept
the beatings and curses
Any man who is capable of such things
is no man
and I cant wait to hear how he fairs behind bars

The surface of the water was placid
Reflections of Fall spotted this canvas in commencement
So excitingly colorful and vibrating with life  yet so still,cool,and welcoming
Inviting a storm
This tiny pond was willing to fight reguardless of the score
Well aware of the baited hooks and the illusions sold to implore
Tiny fins wave in unison
Fragile yet admirable all the same

I could rid my eyes of this pessimistic view
I could buy into the latest design
I could distract myself with a goal for gold
but a little voice tells me I'd be better off dead

I could give everything of myself and work
myself to the very bone
I could aim to set off and save the world
I could bend over backwards to earn your praise
but alittle voice tells me I'd be better off dead

I could've,should've,would've
but never did..
because if living based on such artificial things
and I am forced to strive for the "American Dream"
Dieing would be ever so awe-inspiring

I noticed my wing was broken
when I started spiraling out
in a frenzy I tried to mantain balance
but my imperfection weighed me down
and as I watched the ground approaching
The exceleration picking up
I wondered whatever made me think
I could fly with the rest of the them

I have tried to give birth to a new and improved version of my vision
Exulting blips of exactitude and ambition
Flashes of pretension on a screen of pending dreams
Lacking mobility and projection
Inertia writhes

I'm mainly advertising trying to sell and intrigue
To those who have enough eloquence to persuade my predilection and schemes
Endorsing me providing lifelines and pure consciousness
Lacking the force of extorted themes and exulting worthiness
Cleansing my mind of the mocking bird's trash heap
Help me dissemble the falsified declarations and professions of fiends

I want to be pristine
I beg thee to teach and galvanize me
Endowing me with inexorable sight
Keeping me keen and full of bold might
I am willing to fight

Bring me to the surface of these turbulent seas
No need to mention my frailties and anxieties
All I ask is a breath from the surface of true realities

The urgency constrains my needs for rejuvenation and appreciations
For all those little beautiful things that once meant the world to me
Like pink carnations

Sleeplessness morphs into spells of insomnious hauntings
Stunting my contractions
It's completely and utterly exhausting
A labor deprived of true initiative and wanting
It may sound silly but everything is contradictory

It is these pains that leave me incomplete, ineffectual, and in paralyzing omission
Excluded and feeling great depths of oppression
Despairing and kept in solitary confinement
  
Suffering more than I'd like to profess
Distressing the matters that cave into my chest
An infiltration of insurmountable anguish
Abolished
Untouched by a shoulder or hand of accommodation
Is it selfish to push for this magnitude of isolation?

I crave cultivation
I want to grow into the Giant Sequoia
But the fires of self doubt leave my branches in ruins
Smoke signals sending sirens
A constant affliction
It's all my own doing

Contingency pleading for nourishment
Somehow knowing thee and ye could constitute for something of legends
Tell that to our reflections
Or maybe it's the fear of fire that terminates our pregnancy
Causing us to introvert instead of projecting
Withholding both you and I from mastery

Moonshine on me crazy
Kick back and dive into my lunacy
Drink of my wine
and intoxicate
so the words are ever so
contagious
for another to drink
Spin with me and learn to keep
your eyes in place
Although the world is blinding
you'll see once your mind is tamed
Then stumble around with your heart on
your sleeve and watch as others hesitate
as you seem obscene
It's funny how when you speak the truth
Society turns away
I'm treated like the village drunk
my mind is blown away

I fear not those who fear me
In bitter disgust
I do as I please and aim to please you not
You could hate me in chatters of matters in squads
I'll sit back comfortably and applaud your abilities to judge
Good
Bad
Right
Wrong
It's such a grey area
Thanks for letting me know

The door is open
you're free to decide
to keep this love floating
or leave and sink it with time
I wonder
Will you think of me?
Dream of me perhaps?
Will you wave a pretty lady
with the thought of my hand?
Or will it be so easy that my face fades all together
and when someone mentions my name you relate it to
some other flower?
I wonder

Wait what?....mind ninja!
                                                  You speak to me subliminally
with words
and imagery

                                                    Your views pushed unto me

Tricky Jedi

tickling my synapses


                                              The darker arts were never my cup of tea

no player your not fooling me

The wind blew in from the south
Rumor has it love will kiss thee on thy mouth
There were tulips blooming all around
It was a common park on extraordinary grounds
As the night fell on Du Midi
The moon was full shining brightly upon the city
The month was May and Spring was underway
His eyes were so intoxicating
I danced until my feet ran red
Wishing the night would never end
But soon noon swept in to carry me off
and while saying goodbye I felt it wasn't enough
For days my heart couldn't give it up
There's something about him I can't quite place
and I miss his hand upon my waist
So much so I couldn't bare his embrace
You can trace the devastation as I try to deny
Struggling not to react but failed to mask my demise
The weight of his kiss and beautiful lips expelled
I felt such gravity giving me this hell
But my mind can't reason with my heart and
what was meant to provide closure
only carved a deeper mark

For the love of the sun - I come undone - while blanketed in the softened light of the moon. I swoon and give way - engulfed by unquenchable flame - the cool ground beneath - consuming my core.

The call crashing at the edge of my mind - I continue on with closed eyes - and deeply kiss the blessing of a new day; feast or famine - this longing remains unchanged - imploring eternity - in a song of praise.

In everyone's life
There comes a time
When we watch all the pieces shatter
The shards find their way into many feet
and the blood seems to signal a defeat

The scars remain but eventually the pain fades
The stains however are a constant reminder
Of the challenges faced
and the strife that has been conquered

The beauty is found
When the pieces are thrown out
and the mess that once troubled us
Is renounced and without

Through perseverance and unconditional love
There is no telling what we are capable of

It was too sweet
My mouth salivated almost painfully
There were too many chills
Too many thrills
Long nights sugar coated and pale
Sickening

With one mention
I would burst into tears
But with time and learned lessons
I realize now that I've healed
Now forgiven and accepted
The memories never forgotten
Pain has been replaced
Releasing me

Out of focus fuzzy figured dancers
dancing the step of life
spin and shift moving with the tides
and tho there was an effort to learn
I failed and bailed to find room 101
To the hustle and bustle of blurs and
white noise
'I bid a soundless farewell
and when you caught me glancing
a moment too long
I guess you should have known
I was never built for this world

My lust is a trip like DMT
A kiss of death I'm Poison Ivy
I smell of garlic and horseradish
I'm yellow in color
But not threatening my dish

I'm a scarlet lover
The White Mouse you failed to capture
and being a women I was slighted in the matter
Exhaling H5N1 on my breath
No one yielded once I left them speechless
Chirping my songs possessing the charms of sirens

Beauty is illusive
Seduction is bait
*** is violent
Power is the cake

I enjoy Big Boys for the chances they take
Ego is the downfall of the great
ZZZ top gives you the steak
I can't resist the urge to devour savoring the taste
Let's play for sake of convulsive spasms
I could use a good power trip followed by an ******

You are the cool draft beneath the door
Flooding in freezing my feet
Stagnating me under a sea of blanket
to comfort my fears and cradle my inner child
I fell to you
Hiding my smiles and blushing vibrant shades of nothing
Searching your eyes for treasure and exaggerated tales
to make my life seem less stale
and you would put on your best impressions
to disguise how much you've been lessened
We spun in dizzy frenzies to distort the harsh realities
and banned the notion of death finding our immortality
We'd be young forever as long as we had eachother
We'd stunt our growth and mislead our minds into a great oblivion
Stay blind to the truth and laugh at misfortune
For children always stay on the breezy side of cares
But too soon our long summer day come to an end
and all the innocents was snatched from our hands

After Sunday you stink of hypocrisy
Please don't waste your breath preaching to me
To me it's one big joke
as you line up for the punch line
Wearing your see through clothes
and flaunting your plastered eyes
Keep funding your guilt
as I kick back and criticize
Pockets full of change
I wound not spare a dime

We lay together lost in fantasy
Restless gazing upon different ceilings
Giggling in the remembrance of word plays through long days
Where we still manage to provoke smiles in the midst of our dull lonely ways
Your voice vibrates through a long distanced line
that we both dream of crossing some time
And though time may be a troubling thing
we push on with love and curiosity
Your voice rings sweet melodies to my imaginative tendencies
**** this longing
It's time you cross over and claim your belongings

Tears welled and wet my cheek
As my legs gave out and I hit the concrete
I couldn't stand the over whelming defeat
I examined the stone that caught me
and it taught me

Through the crack I saw a stem
It wasn't the most graceful of flowers but it was magnificent
Somehow it found it's way through
Growing passed odds that I'd never imagined it to

When I push you away
it means I want you
When I laugh in your face
I'm feeling for you
When I scream loud
I'm feeling small inside
When I'm missing you
I pretend I'm made of unbreakable pride
The truth is you have me so vulnerable
To an extent I'd never want you to know
and while I curse and pretend to hate
I'm really hopelessly in love masking my place

Everything I wanted
was placed into my lap
and I watched it unfold before me
gift wrapped in black
and my smile began fading
gradually
like some spoiled little twit
The more it began to reveal itself
The more distraught I'd get
"Look! Its just what you've asked for!"
The universe ,
so unbiased and eager to please
as overflowing wishing wells brought me
to my knees
I screamed

"PLEASE JUST TAKE IT BACK!!"

When that little voice tells me to give in
I have given up
Succumbing to the weakness of my thoughts
With these odds
How could the ends ever meet
But still I find my eyes opening with a sunrise to greet
A new dawn
A new day
Another chance to compete
No matter how many times I face defeat