I'm a wreck, ma
A mess

                                  Alone

and depressed
There are people all around
And there is a smile on my face
But no one heard my cries
No one had seen the pain in my eyes

Everything looks like greyscale
With a twist of red
                                            Red.

It was only on me, ma
My whole body
Was   b r o k e n    and damaged
There were marks everywhere
Small cuts
                             Where the red came from
Does no one still see?

I'm standing on a busy street, ma
Trying to scream
But everyone just walks by
I feel my lungs filling up
      I'm
           d
               r
                  o
                     w
                  n
                i
            n
        g
But everyone around me is breathing

I'm up on a building now, ma
Holding my breath
I'll jump, ma
Do you hear me now?
Are you listening?
Can you understand?
Huh, ma?
I can't hear you.


                          It's too late now, ma
I'm gone.

I'm staring up at the clouds now
People are rushing to my side
Is this all it takes?

"This child must have slipped"
                     No ma'am
I seeked your attention
I wanted someone to listen
I needed your help long ago
And you didn't care

"They were a good friend"
Wait who are you
We've never talked
Suddenly everyone is sad
How come?
Well, ma
I've been sad for a long time
How come you didn't notice earlier?

It's funny when you're not a 'pretty face'
Because then no one cares until you're dead
But then you are pretty
And now everyone cares.

But I'm sorry, ma
You are too late
You should've noticed earlier
Good bye, ma
I'm happier now
                            *Not by your side

Humanity is
Promised suffering
Infinite and delicate roots
Bleed timeless torment
And misery

I spend most of my time
Locked away in my room
Writing metaphors that could never be
As beautiful as you

I try to catch your eye
With my words
But they could never do you justice
So I know this'll never work
But I keep trying

I try to capture your beauty
Using only thoughts that come to my mind
I know you find it hard to trust me
I don't blame you
Almost everything I say is a lie

I try to twist my own words
But I end up just twisting my tongue
And though I know it'll hurt
I try my hardest to be someone
That you could trust

And I
Wanna make you smile
But I don't know how
And I
Wanna stop lying
To your face
But I can't get a single truth out

Everything I say is a lie

Joyous in her mind
a pinnacle of  cherishment
meadow seeds in sweet  abandon
laced with uncensored willingness
gives life her mound to build upon.

Memories of my  beautiful Summer
walks down Blendennis lane with
my Mother Brug, Aunts  Kate and Maggie
and my beloved  sheepdog  Shep.
The smell of the new mown hay
cornfields reaching maturity,
the whiff of wildflowers and heather everywhere,
breathtaking on a late summers evening.

Never to be experienced, anywhere in the World
Those were the bygone days, past the bog of bulrushes,
the cattle chewing their cuds in the fields beyond.
I wish my Shep could race and meet me  now
like he did on my  way home  from school
when I appeared at the white  spot in the  Lane.