Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Cydney Something Dec 2018
I can't blame you
For me
And all the things
I **** up

I can't hate you
For changing
How you feel
About me

I won't tell you
How to live your life
Or how
To love me

I don't know
Anything
At all
Anymore
Cydney Something Dec 2018
I want to run away
To Mexico
Or Cuba
And sit in bars
And drink myself to death
While telling stories about you
To anyone who will listen
Cydney Something Dec 2018
My roommate's dog is howling out back
Someone stole my garage door opener
So now I'm gonna get robbed
AGAIN
**** this city
**** sobriety
**** life
**** all of it
Because I'm alone
Always
Always
Always
Alone
I deactivated all of my accounts
And slipped quietly away from it all
And crawled into my first day of
Hell
The world
And everything in it
Can kiss my ***
Because I'm in a decided state
Of HATRED
And it hasn't even been
24 hours

****.
Cydney Something Dec 2018
Dry
"Why do you put up with him?"

Because colors are intensified
When he's in my line of sight
Even the menacing hues
Are better than sepia tone

Because I'm like a flower,
And he is the sun
Although it threatens
To burn me alive

Because I forget yesterday
If he is now
The pain he'll cause tomorrow
Doesn't exist yet

Because he gives life flavor
Vibrant and complex
Which makes the bitter
Preferable to bland

Because his malice
Is juicy and sweet
And his absence
Is cold and dry

I have no business being here,
But I love it,
So I'll
Stay
This is not a poem about my husband, but rather an imagined lover
Cydney Something Dec 2018
I tell him all the stories
About the boys,
The lies,
The awful dates

He tells me
I've been
Given
A **** hand

And then
He adds himself
To the pile
Of stories
Boys ****
Cydney Something Dec 2018
They say I shouldn't
Read into things
And that I should
Take things at face value

But I can't
Just ignore
All the little reminders
Of my shortcomings

The sighs after I speak
The shifting of their feet
The silent gestures
And the blessed absence

They say I'm all I need
And I shouldn't want more
That I should fix me
Even though I'm the mess

The madness
The insanity
The levity
Of the irony

**** all of you
**** all of me
Leave me be
But set me free

I'm not free to be me
Cydney Something Dec 2018
I collapsed the seats of my Rav4
You watched my *** the whole time
And saw an opportunity
As I bent over between the front seats
One, two, then three fingers
While fumbling to turn off the hazards
Biting a seat to keep quiet
Accidentally turned the music back on
"Stay In My Memory" by Bim
The song from Him
**** him, I'll ******* instead
The hazards were off
The music still on
Your fingers making my body quake
From the inside
Twice
Strong enough to throw me around
Like I was someone cuter and smaller
And put me on my back
With a hand around my throat
Kissing at me like a dog
Making me submit like a *****
Three, four, five
"On your knees"
And you threw me there, too
Six
Around we spun
Getting rug burn
Lost count of the quakes
They started to blend
With the aftershocks
"Are marks okay?"
And then you left one
A hickey on a weeknight
And a Monday, no less
Next time, we need a bed
Rug burn is a *****
Next page