Back again like a farewell tour I saw once again
Like a vision from GOD there she laid all the more peaceful
Freshly washed strands of silver hairs of wisdom now full and wavy like a child
All the closer I felt this time, all the more feelings as if I know before
Remembering your face as I saw you across the room
Like a face on the cover of a music magazine
Pulling a ritual out of my pocket I asked with my eyes
Got the response I was looking for in his node
No disrespect is intended just my way of coping
Everyone needs a way to deal, doesn’t matter what side of the tracks you’re from
High school dropout or on the A list in an Ivy League were all the same in the end
You might not see but others will through the procession that follows you
Stopping traffic, being able to run through red lights it’s all ok, doesn’t matter
It’s your day; Warhol says fifteen is all you get not on this day it’s all yours!
Seeing vapors again around the outer edge, shadows are dancing as well
Buds are pounding drums deep with bass
Saw you open up your arms after pushing you as if a child on a sled then pulled like in a wagon
Releasing nitrogen then pulling back the skin on the one closest to your heart off them came
How you must have felt flaunting your two rings of Saturn
And how you must feel now knowing there in the hand of another
I had no say in the matter it comes with the education so in return
I played for you a sweet soft song and prayed by your side all alone.



(CARSr. 5-14-12)

Backstage pass of words I’ve been given
Her voice so soft, O’ how long it seemed I wished to hear it
Had doubts that should have never been there for she looked me in my eyes
On my heart and on my brain, a lie detector is strapped to my body
Brightest light ever seen is now glowing warm on my complexion
Interrogations now begin from a sibling trying to protecting their name
I can’t blame them for I’d do just the same
I told my story through my written works that he read
And then I saw him smile and with his hand he reached for mine
Embracing with a shake we joined as one.
No reason to get excited because this is not a joke
Partial board box zip tied with paper conceals your shroud within
Knocked on the wood for good luck cause the hour is getting late
Up from below on pulleys it is pulled
Locking latches to the left and to the right
locking the left like batting down the hatches I locked you in
Knobs are turned with fifteen minute increment you will go
Kissing the crucifix I powered it on
Kissing the cross again I try to wash away my sins
For so long nothing else has ever mattered
Nothing I tell you, no nothing I tell you again
I stand and scream can you hear my shouts
For I can’t wait another day to be somebody before the damage is done
Wanting a quick peek I then took a walk to talk to my soul departed brother first
Then they came and said are you ready it might look ugly are you up to it
Arrived to the same scene and something’s wrong, red lights are lit up
Nothing has happened while I left to pray and they wondered why
I know the answer for I hadn’t done my part till then
Again we try, this time it went off without a hitch
Then the sounds of a roaring flame overcame everything aloud
Window with a handle like having a periscope I took a look at the danger inside
Watched for a minute and suddenly you were consumed in a blanket of flames
Gasping for air, my breath was taken away and then I began to suffocate
Tingles throughout my body you did it to me so I never forget the sight yes I know
Closed the hatch and let you be praying even harder now I go white knuckling for thee
Outside the grave diggers looked in amazement for they were puzzled with the strength
Wanting to give a last respect I peer in once again
Feet first in your body did laid there, laid there in rest; I watched your face disappear
Ribs erected up like fingers reaching to grab anything it could reach
My spirit and my soul you did grab hold
raven on a willow, robin on a stone
Mother of mercy, angel of death, Mother of mercy, angel of pain
You are both the same Mother of mercy, angel of death,
We are all just players in the master’s game


(CARSr. 5-29-12)

Mr. P.  Showed me the first time,
And now placed before me, Mr. J
I questioned your state,
While you laid there like a piece of slate.
Thin you were with the apple in your neck.
Tempted for a bite like in the book of Genesis,
A sin you might say, but what the heck.
They didn’t care for they put you in a partial wood and glue box,
Then they stole your money like a masked fox!
Opening your velvet lids she exposed them both,
Pressing all around, for she had to make sure.
Just in case you could have been saved
From some kind of a cure
A bowl your pupil turned
Something you gave me to eat from
Milky white yes they were,
Something else they did tell me,
And I didn’t even have to look that far.
With her clipboard and her pen
She marked all the things outside and then within.
Doors now closed and stained instruments are now touched
Thick blue rubber latex gloves are passed around
Pre prepped he already is,
What’s next I then wonder?
A quick slice of a scalpel
Now exposes what was under.
Hooks seven layers deep
Removing something you now couldn’t even keep
Like pulling a worm out a fish’s mouth,
It then popped out,
“Look” He just snagged himself a trout.
Putting your trust in something better then Big Ben,
If it seized up, what would you do then?

(CARSr.5-31-12)

Have you ever loved an animal so much that it made you cry?
You fight with all your might but still you lose no matter how hard you try.
Many a year spent together, you will be missed
And yes it will take some time before I am better.
I tell myself you went off to a better place
It was a beautiful day and God gave you grace.
Forty pounds of amethyst is now your headstone
I saw the love in your eyes for they told me
I’ll be OK and I’m not alone.

4-18-15

(Curt A. Rivard Sr.)

The anger from having to clean up a clumsy child’s mess
The sudden sound of rubber being laid on the tar
Quick snap of the head to the right
Sight of an undercarriage fly’s past you
Mind could not comprehend such a vision was like in slow motion
Telling yourself just had one sip this can’t be true
Crash, bang, boom is what I heard a cold dark winter’s night it was
Hoping what I always said won’t be true
Now sprinting around the corner Come around the bend
Eyes open to only confirm something here is not right
What’s inside man, woman, children cannot see in because tint was so dark
Rushing to your rescue I struggle to see within
Can tell you are a carpenter by your lumber scattered all around
After not being able to open your door
Grab a piece and take out your back window
Shattered into a millions pieces it went
Letting me see the truth within
Hanging like a pendulum in a clock
No swing was this to mark the time in suspension you hung
Was suppose to save your life now takes it your last breath away
Hey buddy I am here for you There on the way
Traffic built up now and a voice you knew Shouts out just let him be
If it were him what would he say then?
On the scene now they come
Spotted a blue glove on her hand Tore it off like a thief
Grasping at the **** that was too slippery lonely moments before
Step aside sir let me see A quick reach in was all it took
Shook her head over and over to the left and to the right
My precious 1 was also by his side with hidden eyes that were welled up and burning
When she heard what was said
Blinked and a dam broke loose down her face it flooded
Shouts of fury I shattered crystal for miles around.


(CARSr. 5-4-12)

Out of a licked sealed envelope your face emerged
Handed to me I did then look at thee.
It was a glossy three by five,
Who would know latter I’d take you for a drive.
Studying you like a blueprint in this sacred place,
All I got to work with was just your face.
Found myself suddenly in the middle of a quick test
Smile ear to ear, my mind then tells me, this is the best.
Off I go I’m on the quest.
Family Lacking in any kind of trust,
Now I hold your photo
Comparing to the profile of your now bust.
Darting eyes go back and forth
No prominent scars, not even a mark from birth
Picture looked about ten years earlier
How much you all change while lying on your back.
Doris did prove that to me
After the fact I found out that she was thee.
Turning your face to look at me now
For you laid looking to the left
Your mouth hung open exposing your pearly white.
Top front two I found the clue,
Inward they curved, from teeth maybe to big
And having a jaw, which was too tight.

(CARSr.6-1-12)

I live in Connecticut,
And only a short drive away
It's all over the news and I am sure you heard about it
Another tragedy struck again and this time it’s,
The nutmeg, constitution and insurance capital of the world
Who suffers in pain and left with nothing to gain
Trying my hand this poems original was written with a crayon
I sit, think, feel and try to write
Holding back with all my might my eyes are burning
I know not a single one but when I am done with this poem
And put down my wax I know I will then lose the fight
Time can never now be the perfect healer
Cause the pain will never slip away and go into the past
For in all our hearts the memories of those children’s innocence will always last
So many lives will forever live in despair
I have six of my own and could never possibly know there sorrows
Or even come close to try and compare
I was up all night thinking of my own and writing this
For the lost ones because I do care.

(SirCARSr. 12-14-12)

Performing autopsy's and at free will,
as I look all around, I'm very satisfied with my new thrill.

Chosen for my talents because I'm cunning with the knife, till I find the cause of all this death, in my hands, I hold, my own life.

Separated from all that I know and all that I love, all I have now is, my pet raven who follows me from high up above.

Decomposing bodies of every size and every age, to ward off the stench of death, I pack my beak with savory spices and on my hip, a bag of sage.

From the mouths of the rats the curse is told, blessing me the plague doctor with all the power I behold.

Curt A. Rivard Sr.

May I have the honors of this dance with you?
But first I must seal your lids
For I fear your sleeping eyes will awake
Inside they go to cover your eyes
And me now you cannot hypnotize
Conductor with his thin baton in hand
We are the only two players in this band
He made an invisible nine panel grid
Two steps to the subjects left
And then two steps forward
He then gets up the nerve and then takes a plunge
O’ my GOD I cannot believe what he just done!
Dipping you now he goes in deeper
He orchestrated the perfect symphony for me.
May I please cut in and take this dance I ask
Holding your hand in my left like a violin
In my right a hollow metal bow
Bears also a razor piercing point
Clutching the handle I touched upon
All the major and minor notes
A five minute solo I played and deep within you
Preserving you all the more
That is what I am doing to you
Upside down bottle in my left now
And my bow now holds a clear hose
I see pink fluid now is beginning to flow
All over the damage now is where it all must go
Vapors now burning my eyes have just begun
When all is said and done
Inside again now I closed you
And it was with a trocar button
next time I close one
I will put a new twist in the  N stitch!
(CARSr. 7-24-12)

It’s High noon in a tumble **** town
And everyone’s running for cover,
Shops are turning their open signs around
The saloons piano player is now frozen with fright
All is quiet like a cold winter’s night.
Back to back ten paces forward
Counting in your head the jingles in the others spurs
Turn and draw
Be quick or be dead
Shots ring out like thunder
One grazed the other not so lucky
Town’s people wrap you up like a caterpillar in its cocoon
Slumped is your body over the back of the horse
Now is trotting you to your resting place.
The piano man is now unfrozen.

(CARSr.5-1-12)

I was in prison and protected by his loving will
as if in a trance, I visioned I was taking a test.
Studying his words so I can live out a much better life
I now see , I had to live out a predestined quest.

Reading from his book of instructions
I see I was in so many a story
(a)which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption, unto praise of his glory.

Day after day, minute by minute and hour hour by hour
everyday you shown me your forgiving love and I felt your Holy Power.Turning the pages for I can't help but to take a look,
I wash my hands with myrrh and every-time before I pick up your Holy Book.

Cross referencing the scriptures, the New with the Old
it's the source of my power behold, look at the energy I now hold.
Completing the circuit the electricity now begins to flow
It gives me the daily volts I need and through my faith, I now glow.

Never had I cried unto you when I found that my back was up against the wall and I know that is why I get through to you every-time, when I call. You've shown me countless signs and many marvelous wonders all along my path, if I turn my sights and away from you now, I know I can expect to feel your whirlwind wrath.

The Lord had taught me hard, but yet he taught me well and for that, this is the story to my children I will forever tell.

(a) Ephesians 1:14 KJV

As if having two cans with a string attached we got connected
I was on your mind and that was better than I expected.
I sense we harbor the same feelings, like my new train of thought I now carry
You showed me a new trick in the living you prosper from
You are full of new tricks I can see, and there is many more to come.
I can also see you’re on the way to patent a new technique in the art,
You learned from the best, and you learned it right from the start.
Traveling faster than the speed of light I am propelled forward
Mind is racing all the more remembering back to an earlier time
Now I’m heading to the room, the only room I ever begged to enter before
Back then I was led away and to only the chapel’s door.
Inside there alone, my eyes let loose, gallons of salty water.
Wanting to replenish at the machine I find I’m short a quarter.
Walking through all the twists and turns like in a maze
Up and down the stairs we also climbed, about face we now then descended
Found myself now in the room I cried to see,
So cold inside, I didn’t even have to check its A/C.
Dragging my left hand now along the wall, walking all the faster out so I didn’t stall
But really I held it so I wouldn’t fall,
Fuzzy feeling all throughout me like me I was in a haze.
Pushing you out all along the way, I enjoyed for that was no place to stay,
With delight and high honor I did give to you, too bad it had to be this way.
Faces did see what I did and I saw those looking, eyes all in a gaze.
Ridding with you lying in the back, I know what is to come next of you,
I just watched it only days before, O’ how now my heart is so sore
Attached I fight so hard from becoming, and I lose every time
What good money you don’t come from, that is the only crime.
I know you are still in there and wanted to leave the light on just in case
Congregation was told of my endeavors today, after my prayer request, you went into space.
To heaven you go, for that I believe is the only place.
Seemed to be the same every Sunday my request goes out
And for the grieving families you left behind it just make me want to stand up and shout.
I also pray that when exam time comes, seventy credits yes I need to pass the test,
But till Tuesday you were supposed to be the only guest
(CARSr. 5-26-12), (CARSr. 5-28-12)

Beatrice was the object of all his desire
Immortalized by Dante to love forever
She stole his eyes and now he walks through fire.

To see her again, he now must be clever
Overcoming obstacles along his path.              
Save me from crawling, give me wings of feather.

Nine circles this pit, I see the devil's math
Show me now, will I ever be free from here
Why this inferno, why this God burning wrath?

The sight of his love is now close, it's now near
Walking through the valley, the shadow of death
He's on a hero's journey, he has no fear.

Smitten with her beauty pure as baby's breath
He's walking all about in a flame filled haze
Remembering his vow, to love her till death.

Dragging my left hand on the wall of the maze
Can sins be forgiven, how long must I burn?
I have been on fire now for two long day's.

Tell me Lord all the things you want me to learn
Whisper to me so I will never get lost
After this quest, give her back, let her return.

So lonely, upon the flames my dreams are tossed
Shrouded in mystery she makes my heart pound
Let me, I'll care for her no matter the cost.

My hearts screaming out to her, it's screaming loud
A lifetime long ago we made a promise
From high up above she's ridding on a cloud.

Never be apart, we sealed it with a kiss
Free me from all this torment, come break the chain
Am I dreaming, how did it come to all this?

A work in progress  by Curt A. Rivard Sr.

Fearless he is, fearless he was, fearless forever now.
Less than half my age my first time he is
Painted planks first for the centurion Baptist Church
Promised to go fossil and crystal hunting when done as a reward
Beads of salty sweat drenching the tiny brow now
Arms sore and tired from the heavy coating
Minutes finally now of sunshine now squint your eyes
Rounding the corner can tell a new cut is due
Without a second thought found delight it the next chore
With passion, with precision, with intimacy it must be done
Doors unlocked shoeless we enter never wanting to desecrate
Hand in tiny hand he pulls me in all the quicker
Unfamiliar smells puts riddles ends mark on his face
Like a brave warrior he marches down to his own beat fearing nothing
Finds himself a level lower looking at all the music boxes
Sleeping boxes he calls them “They shine don't they daddy!” yes son they are
Questions of why no sight of little sleeping boxes now shatters my drums
Instructor confirms of such a thing then comforts his unbroken spirit
Like praying to his God saying “Those are the sad ones”
Opening another door closer he wins with me with his sincerity
One in the lock the other same one on the ring he sees’, unaware of the other side
I know what lies behind the other side of the keys hole
With uncontrollable anticipation I reach and grasp his hand to spin around
Eye to eye we lock in with one and another like looking in a mirror we are
Nothing can be heard no other sites can be seen as if we are one
“No need to be afraid Son, I am here with you hold my hand”
Double door swings open now exposing a lovely dress and shoes
Can tell she’s deeply loved and will be terribly missed
By seeing Saturn twice side by side
Looks of wisdom, in the gene pool,
By the tale, of having such silver hair
Delight in the sight I get my fill turn my eyes and saw him standing still
No fear in his face I knew he could do it, hoping now his Mommy won’t have a fit
Feelings of tremendous love rush through me like a raging torrent
Hugged my side and look, he never even cried
I’m getting my rhythm I’m getting my flow and look I still have room to grow
Took charge without even a prompt pushed the music box to where it should go
That’s my boy that’s my Son; even a stronger bond has now begun!

(CARSr. 5-12-12)

This
Is
Also
A
Poem!

(CARSr. 12-23-12)

My love, your love is a drug
that I will forever crave
I always will and even in my grave.
Searching for your angel's face,
my body is now craving for you
and even from behind these concrete walls.
Sleepless nights from tossing and turning
I'm suffering through all the withdrawals.
It's in times like these,
that you feel the addiction all the most
it hurts so much, that it makes you wish that you could just die and just give up the ghost.
Life is full of stumbling blocks, snares, obstacles and O' so many traps...
Please my love, I'll give my all to you
for your love is worth the greatest relapses.
Through all the trials and all the tribulations
we are still one I do see!
The Lord helped keep us together and for it a reason,
so now lets give thanks and work on our relationship recovery.
Six new moons have came and gone
since we held each other ever ever so close
Two more to go, I can't wait,
so I can then live on,
my choice of drug,
your love.
So now when I return to you
give me a love overdose.

O' no I feel them, there back again the heavy pain I feel inside my heart
when I wake up, that is when- all the shaking inside of me begins to start.
An enemy of mine who tries to win all the time never will he conquer, for I have a new plan.

Through your soothing comforting written letters I receive with all your heart felt written words. Will you keep writing, will you help me? for if not, I will surely lose this mental fight.

Overpowering what my nightmares can do I take you with me and to it, a special place daydreaming all day long and all about you.With your help I can win this insane fight till then, I tell myself, I'm not in here, I'm home with you tonight.

I hate the feelings I have all inside so no one can see me, under my prison blankets... I cry and hide:(

It is
not how
many,
it is how long with the same one who you love.
(22 years to date and still counting with the same one after being picked up hitchhiking on a way to another girls house oops..)

To the south slowly creeping up behind me
In the frozen darkness a sliver of light that controls
Our mother earth’s tide.

Tonight I am a puppeteer and out your dark
And lonely silk lined beds I want you to arise
Trust me; I’m all alone please do not hide.

Arms stretched out spanning this sacred ground
I use my shadows to knock on all your grave stones
For I want to wake you all up because I need to dance
Long into the night and dance with your decaying bones.

Moon beams shining so bright wake up so you can
See my face start to come into your sight
Shed your skins, take my hand, and leave your never-ending
Nightmares behind and dance with me tonight.

(CARSr. 12-04-12)

I wish I were a Pharaoh, and you were my Queen
So we then can live in a pyramid together when we pass on.
When our bodies lie stretched out in sleep,
Upon the walls is sketched-
The last appointment our patient souls must keep.
Like mummies that have been wrapped ever so tight
I wish we would never be disturbed
Not ever by a beam of light.
I’d be sure that the hieroglyphics’ would say
That we be wrapped tightly together,
And all my worldly possessions be left behind to our children
For the only thing I would need in my afterlife is…
“My Precious 1”

(CARSr. 2001)

Finding you on your floor
As soon as I came to your door
Off you go for a look over
Something not right you didn't come home
PSI's on the gauge now tell the tale
Pressure building on your fragile mind
That had to be purged because you were very frail
Day after Christ’s birthday was the last we shared
Our last moments before man made you fall asleep
Ear to ear slice and then your skin is pulled down
Cutting wheel now powered up and on
Making a score line with uncountable RPM's
Stainless steel mallet is now tapping your shell open
Exposing all the danger lurking deep inside
Golf ball tumor leach ******* from your bodies core
Razor sharp suckers with roots buried in deep
You had no choice in the matter
It was your destiny it was your fate
All because it was found to late
Today is my Birthday and I miss getting those cards where you called me Curtis
R.I.P Gram you are still missed did you feel me in your presence
This morning as I walked on your sacred ground?
(CARSr 10-03-12)

Dreading to go lay and fall asleep
In the dark is a child’s growing fear
Minute by minute as the time draws near
Wanting the comfort of a familiar voice
Reading a bed time story or singing a gentle lullaby
From someone who is precious, close and dear
Howling wind, rain drops on the panes, rustling leaves,
And scratching branches on the house from the trees
You pray to God for a full moon every night so you can see
And in return you only witness
Shadows’ dancing on the walls in the dark
Fighting with all your might you lose
To nightmares that go long into the night
Wanting a light of some kind it don’t matter
To break to deathly silence
And scare away all the dreams of violence
After covering your corpse with clean white linen
I make sure he walks out before me
So I can then turn your light back on
Just in case you should ever awake
From your eternal slumber and you then
Could find your way out of your temporary tomb
In case of a power outage I also put in your hand till the next
A token of light in your clutches that is made
Of a child’s plastic crucifix and beads
That absorbs light hidding from your sight
And in the darkness it will glow green.

(CARSr 9-28-12)

Be afraid; be scared yes for no one is ever spared.
Into the burning chamber you go because no one ever cared.
A raging inferno tale I tried it before, but again I must tell,
Cause I skipped the parts of how, it also did smell.
Trapped you are in a cement and stainless steel tomb
Your body is then surrounded with a foul fume,
Then suddenly it encompassed your room.
When it’s all said and done, into a plastic bag,
Zip tied shut held closed with a metal tag.
That’s what is to become of you, and that is your final doom.
Back to back I see them go and it’s happening all too soon.
Electric sparks now ignite the poisonous vapor I did get a whiff,
If you witnessed then what I saw next,
You’d run away fast and then go jump off a cliff.
Engulfed instantly in a blanket of about fifteen hundred degrees,
I can read your lips and you were begging me,
Pleading for mercy I heard you murmur, I tried to quench your thirst for thee.
Dry, cracking and starting to blister you still managed to say please.
Brain then begins to boil inside like a yoke in an egg.
What is going on inside of here? I saw you thinking inside your head.
Pressure building up like a volcano it had to erupt somewhere.
It was something brutal, but it is now becoming a ritual.
Out it all came it did, out your right eye.
I saw the ball pop and then it all squirted into the sky.
Smoldering ashes you are now, no longer can you stand up like a tower.
Into the cauldron with spinning blades you enter into next,
Turning your rubble into a powder now as fine as flour.
Dragging magnets collecting all the surgical steel,
Combing through then with fingers like having a metal detector
Looking for all that precious metal and they did for about an hour.
Waiting to put you in a jar they call an urn,
I’ll pass for now, I skip my turn.

(CARSr.5-29-12)