Would you like coffee or tea Mr Electrician
The customer eagerly inquired
My wife and I feel so much safer
Now that our house is rewired


Oh thank you so much Mr Plumber
Wont you please come in out of the rain
I'll make you a hot cup of Bonox
Thank God you unblocked our drain


This is the way we were treated
When I was a younger man
But with the advent of globalisation
Respect has gone down the can


Now they'll ring twenty tradesmen
Ask them all for a free written quote
Then they'll pick out the cheapest
And to their friends they will gloat


They don't say thanks for a good job
They don't really acknowledge your being
They're just looking for ways not to pay you
The dollars are all that they're seeing


When and if they decide to pay you
You best be prepared to wait
Thirty days that's the minimum
It'll be sixty more likely mate


So I have come to a conclusion
And I'll give it to you straight
The Yuppies don't deserve my labour
And I'd rather sit on my Date



REDMAN

even in your arms,
you've been out of touch.

Weeping silently
between sobs I write an email,
which I will never send
it will grow old in the pile of drafts
that grows everyday
all to the same person,
who will continue
to ask me why
I don’t send him emails
an I will never have the right answer
maybe I’m scared
of judgment
but he will continue to ask