I tie the perfect noose
Pull tight on the cord
Kick the chair from underneath me
As my feet both touch the floor

I take the electric toaster
Set it on the edge of the tub
Knock it into the water
But forget to plug in the plug

Laid myself down on the train tracks
Waiting for the 9:05
Little did I know my watch had stopped
Right at a quarter till 9:00

I step out into traffic
Sure this is my last deed in life
Not knowing it was a crosswalk
And I was at a red light

I found the tallest building
On my city block
Made my way to the top floor
Where none of the windows unlocked

Never had such a hard time in life
Trying to do myself in
Apparently I need a new tactic
Apparently I need a new plan

Think I'll just go to bed
Catch me some much needed winks
Maybe when I wake up
I'll have died in my sleep

I woke up this morning
Let out a huge sigh
As I looked in the mirror
At my twitching left eye

It took me a moment or two
To see what was wrong with me
Seems I lost a few lashes
As I was visiting dreams in my sleep

That's when I started counting
Seven, eleven, twenty four, twenty seven
When I reached thirty one
It was just as I suspected

I know how many I had
When I went to bed last night
Because I wrote it down in my journal
The magic number...thirty nine

Not sure I'll be able to handle
All the laughter, all the shame
After all I do have this image
I've worked years on to pertain

With all my lashes intact on the right
All that I can think
Is how truly off balance
I'll appear to be

Dear God, let me lay my head upon your lap,
upon your soft white robe,
when the wind is cold and biting,
and I have no place to go....

Let me lay my head upon your lap,
upon your soft white robe,
when the darkness of the darkest night surrounds me
and I have no hand to hold....

Dear God, stroke my soft scalp with your tender hands,
when all I do is cry,
from pain, loss, suffering,
which never answers why?

Stroke my soft scalp with your tender hands,
when I grow old and immobile,
when my name becomes forgotten
and my dreams become just dreams....

Dear God, kiss my heart with your golden lips,
when it becomes cracked and broken,
from the constant failures in life
and praise that's never spoken.

Dear God, sit me upon your strong knee,
when I come to join you upon your cloud,
and you whisper within my eternal heart,
how much I made you proud.....

Silver moonlight, spotlights
                          through my bedroom's window
                            upon the hardwood floor.
                         ****** snow blankets the yard
                           a blanket of cotton aglow.
                       Leafless trees stand in quiet slumber
                      awaiting the spring's first warm breath
                thousands of tiny stars  dot the clear winter's night sky.
                    As I gaze upon this beautiful scene
                                   I think of Mom
                     small, frail, full of sweetness
                     who passed this early fall.....
             I remember her silhouette standing motionless in the
                                moon glow
                  near our little kitchen window
                   as the seasons came to call.......

I walked alone that late October's day,
through the quiet suburban streets.
Red and Orange leaves fell from the curbside trees,
dancing a spiral dance enhancing nature's beauty.

I walked alone, for being poor,
was reason enough to be ignored,
by the other kids I'd see.

Zigzagging through the neighborhood,
in my brown worn suit,
my only suit,
with the right pocket worn through
and my brown clip-on tie  rolled into a ball within the
other.....

As I quietly walked
I spoke  softly to myself,
imagining what it would be like,
to not be me.

But the love I had for my mom and dad,
my brother and sisters,
granted me the strength to hold on.
I swiftly moved on,
down the cracked sidewalks
as the colorful leaves circled in the warmest breeze,
as the brightest sun,
guided me on,
to the place I was accepted,
where I was never alone,
the little green house I called my home....

The valley sleeps but I cannot, I sit upon a rock,
So weary from all my days of toil and thought,
The moon's light caresses you, mighty one—
River will soon carry me down, and you will rise.