Hello brain,I see you're having trouble,how can I help?
I see,you'd like me to drink enough white cider to dull off that intolerable pain in the chest.
Will that help you work through all these thoughts?
Oh,it will still you also.
Well in that case I'd be happy to feel numb for a while.
No,no,don't thank me,its my pleasure.

I like feeling broken
Jus like a token
A **** that's stolen
Yeah

Pretty perfect
Can't stand to hurt it
Urge,to blurt it
But I won't say ****

I don't really know what to do anymore
I'm not sure I was right when I walked out her door
I just couldn't take that look she wore
So I walked,head slumped,stared at the floor

Got on my bus and rubbed print off my ticket
If there was a moment to feel it I would not have picked it
Heart broke in the midst of this ****
All talking did was make her want to quit

There's only so long I could give my all
And I'll tell you now it took all of my Gaul
Spending so much time staring at a wall
So now I'll wait instead for her to call

I gave her everything she asked of me
Would she do the same? Let's wait and see
I want this to work,perfect as can be
But I think she may quit,delete,and then flee

The answer was there all along
But the urge to keep looking was too great
I cannot settle while there is adventure to be had
Take my hand,let's find a new tomorrow

To put it chemically
Sodium hydrobromide
I hide
What I can't confide

Diving so deep into the meaning of anything
Because I can't for the life of me remember who I am

Washing machine whirrrrr
And its obscene that I'm obscured
I did what I did
As I do what I do
I hid what I hid
Now what am I gunna do?
It taste like it felt,so good
When they find out,trout pout,I wish they would
Say something more than nothing
Amount to something
Maybe a few more words
Like birds
Flying
Lying dying
Any more than eating alone
At home
They come
And take it away
My way
My day
Without asking if I'm grey

Didn't even feel
Myself come
I'm numb
Its dumb

Failed suicides
Fail *** life
Can't make anyone happy
What is this...strife

Got drunk
Drank bleech
Passed out
Death breached

Woke up
Stomach pain
Still alive
Its insane

Small cuts
Pass time
Shop opens
Drink wine

Body is
A ******* tank
I should
Have a...long hard think

The way she moves,
Hugs and kisses
Makes me happy,
To call her my missus
So very soft spoken,
Like a a voice on the wind
Yet still full of power,
Not an ounce of it thinned
She gives love in abundance,
Though I can be hard to see
But I know that it's there,
After all she's still with me

Broke the rule
Lost my cool
Played the fool
Like a tool

I'm a failure
And I lost

Snap me
  Back to reality
     Like twigs
        Broken underfoot
             I am just something
               Below you
                  And I never once
                      Deserved to be secure
                           Or happy
                              I can live with that now

Beat me in the head with ignorance
Belittle me with mediocre intelligence
Enslave me with remedial tasks
Hide my individuality behind these masks
Uniqueness no more than a meme
No more real than a life infront of a screen
Vapid bleating without passion
Trivialities such as celebrities & fashion
The pressure to assimilate
And self hate,an apathetic state

The pounding of my head,only silenced by the pounding of my heart.
I wish it would stop beating,the ache has become so unbearable.
I will still it by any means necessary.
Thoughts race across my mind,I've been left behind.
There is no reprieve.
Gather yourself for the last day,make peace with those I wronged.

No amount of food will fill the void
No alcohol will silence my mind
No **** could fix my heart
No cut could could raise my soul
I am the living dead
Wandering through life without aim or purpose
Waiting for the vessel to die as the light inside has

I have
            not yet finished
But the love
                       i have is diminished
Its not
             that I'm giving up
Its that I think
                          I've had enough
Now I'll give
                        only what I get
Which is not a lot
                                on that I'll bet
I require
                what's worth fighting for
Not what leaves
                              me rotting to the core

I want to take a journey into the depths of space
I want to find all the beauty out there I see in you
I could spend a lifetime looking for what I see in just your face
But i'd rather make that trip less lonely,will you come too?

Ignore it,they're just words.

It isn't true...

But it does hurt.

Friendship,loyalty,trust,honour,respect...

Are they just words too?

I just don't know what to believe anymore.

He slams his ****
In a proverbial door
What did he do it for?
He's not so sure
He sits and thinks
And drinks
And sinks
The pain
Reaching so deep inside
Because he lied
He promised himself
He wouldn't slam that door
On his ****
What did he do that for?
He's not so sure
Clutching at that
Blood soaked swell
Even ice doesn't help
His hell
All others see and can tell
He shut his own **** in the door

Anyone else ever wonder how deep you could get a knife into your own chest before you backed out.
like, could you go rib to rib,front to back like some people do behind your back?

What is life
but moments fleeting
While we're waking
While we're dreaming
Nothing ever what it's seeming
Before we've come
Already leaving

The thought of fathering another life
Has got me smiling
I know the impending strife
Mother of first child will be whiling

I mean if I can't buy a pack of cards
Without being told I have to pay her tax and rent
I know she'll go full hulk
In an angry rageful vent

Why does having a child make one fear for all life on earth?
Are our offspring plugs to the "great what is"
A shift in perspective
Allowing us to care for all life.
The dark side of this glorious awakening is...
...we had to have something too precious to lose to see it.

When you decide to give your all to just one person
Make sure they're in it too or you'll worsen
If they backhand you with lies and decipt
Take 'em back to the store with receipt
Cos they're faulty, they're broken not you
Don't except less just because they can't show they love you

Condensed vibrational frequencies
Seeing themselves as masters of their own destiny
But tell me this,does a piece of music choose its own tempo and direction?or is it down to the creator of the sounds?
As we live in a sound based reality ( & I use the term reality loosely) we can summerise that the elation we experience from a series of rhythmic sound can be found in all other things,if we just choose to feel the vibe.
The obvious penatration of our being stood in front of the base bins at a free party,the feeling of sunlight to warm the skin and a zepher to cool it,the feeling of nirvana as a wild young temptress straddles your face and squirts moments of bliss into the oral cavity.
Its all vibrations,all of it,like a giant orchestra of being and everyone and everything has a front row seat.

My dearest sally
You scruffy ******* of fluff
Your departure will be met sadly
Know the descion was really tough
But when we see you fit
And bleed from your ears
We have to do what right
Despite the tears
Nearly twenty years
As a best friend
You were an amazing cat
Let's not pretend
I'll miss the way you would wake me
And lick my face
The way you'd purr oh so loud
And strut about and own the place
I will really miss your face
I hope your transition will be met with grace
The love you gave
For nothing In return
To going to your grave
Where you shall return
You have no idea
How much you will be missed
We will mourn for this loss
I'll carry your collar around my wrist

Why don't you blow those words out the back of your head?!
Just like the lies that you've been fed.
Do you remember what they said?
Or are you just another of the waking dead?

Let's have a child in this crazy ****** up world.
Before its born we can ultra sound it and deform the growing organs.
As soon as its here let's pump it full of toxins and feed it genetically modified milk.
Plant the little one in front of the idiot box and help start the programming because we all know you need to be a good slave.
When they reach the acquired age we can dump them into a system of indoctrination, under the guise of education,that if honest is anything but.
"Why do we need to learn this?"
"Because if you don't you won't be successful"
Ergo,material wealth equates to happiness?
Being forced into regiment and to respect someone who claims authority are not noble traits and are the actions of a coward,nothing more than making you a slave to a corrupt governing body of genocide enthusiasts and pedophiles.
How about we fully remove all morals from society and decend further into hell?! Oh,wait,we already are!
Working jobs we hate to buy **** we don't need to impress people we don't like.
Living to work and working to live.
You want to know why I cant stand to live?! Its because even in life we are dead!
**** this false reality,**** it all!

I'll tear myself apart
Over thoughts of you
The emotion in my heart
Longing for just you

Why do we have to be apart
I cannot handle this
Your beauty fair and mind so smart
It hurts I have to miss

I need your skin
To touch mine
I need your scent
You're so devine

So,I'll tear myself apart
Over thoughts of you
With emotion in my heart
And longing just for you

I put a message in a bottle and set it out to sea
On the paper was inscribed "shipwrecked,could die,help me!"
I waited there for days,the only thing I could
Then I got a bottle back,message read "well,that's not good!"

Desperately clawing
like a wild creature
Drawn to each and every
perfect feature

She is all and everything
Make no mistake
I will pour myself dry
more than likely self forsake

Most people skip clean over the true beauty in life,
They pick roses or peonies over daisies.
Is it because there is a higher social ideal of the overly common gestures of romance that they are valued more?
Even from childhood I've chosen the wild flowers,
Heather,foxglove,snapdragons and daisies,
Not because they're available without visiting a shop or becoming an advanced botanist,
But because they are wild and make the world more beautiful...Just like she does.

Wine is divine
To refine and shine
For thine can combine
With drunkenness intertwine

You know when its real late?
And your torn between mass debate
Or *******
It leaves you in a real state
But its down to fate
If I'm irate or I elate
Try to seperate
So I'm not desperate
And I could equate
This to being full of hate
But I couldn't mate
I'm just a reprobate

Undoubtedly confusions offer a knack for drawing out character flaws.
The world pushes the unfaithful,even today,through a revival of confusions.
Utterly drunken,haplessly amused,but not an easy ride.
I felt both uncomfortable and comedic,one dimensional clowns.
The poor souls,in no small part.
Each interconnected.

She asks
Eat my *****
And I dive in like its a free meal

She asks
You wanna ****?
Like its a business deal

She makes out
Like its just me
In the moment but I feel...

Kind of useless
Because I get shot down
Whenever I'm forward and take the wheel

I can feel it
Inside my chest
Hard pressed
I detest this feeling
Its like a vest
Wrapped around my being
What I'm seeing
I am fleeing
Ain't no freeing
It hurts
Like seeing a loved one in pain
I'm insane
But this want to damage
I can't contain
Its in my brain
Each slice of reality
Cuts worst than the last
Its in the past
But it happened so fast
From going,incredible
To incredulous
What about us?
The question I ask
Its not a task
All the memories bottled up
Like a flask
What if its real?
What if its true?
What's the point?
When I'm disposable to you?