Jesus came to fulfill the law
When you came it was to fill a *****

All that power & still died for your sin
You turn a blind eye to the guaranteed win

Love thy God and love thy neighbour
Not do as thou will and wicked behaviour

You may turn your back but he's there and hasn't fogotten
He wants all the sinners and the downtrodden

Where sin abounds Gods love abounds further still
There no force known to man that's stronger than his will

Know that this walk comes with persecution and pain
But also glory everlasting outside a time frame

Two queens ,Two toms
Seven kittens,one senoir
My babies now moms
And their babies will soon be gone
I love my pets and I'm sure they put up with me
There is a certain joy that comes from watching them raom free

Have you ever,
Had someone hold your head out of the gutter of your mind?
Have you ever,
Held someone so tight you want to leave it all behind?
Have you ever,
Loved someone so much you want to love you?
Have you ever,
Felt something so true?

Both blessed and stressed
On the road to be the best
You'll be hard pressed
From last minute designs
To last minute cancelation
And the relentless perpetuation
Of traveling across a nation

She's says I'm not as romantic
That I'm not the same
I think you're more distant
Like I'm just a pawn in a sick game

I want to be close to you
And open up all that I have to bare
But you choose to sleep with your clothes on
Its like you really just dont care

I want to have back how it was
With snuggles in the night
Instead I get your silence
And a passive aggressive fight

Has it really reached its peak
Did we try too hard
Because when I try to talk it through
Its like I need an appointment card

I need more than this from you
Before I give you more of me
I know you may not understand this
If so,just let me be

If it ends it'll hurt me
The thought twists in like a knife
Let's please try harder baby
What is this,**** my life

Six months left,I am a waste of space
Death

Sing the sound of the broken
Force the sound from the diaphragm
Draw out the pain from soul to paper
Lay it out as a diagram
Paint the wall with raw emotion
Create an environment if you can
Study it with close inspection
Its all part of a greater plan

If the world were to crash and burn,
But for one my heart doth yearn.
Through all the sorrow and all the strife,
I want for nothing but my wife.
I practice much yet saved for art,
My true canvas is your heart.
You are the light in my moments,
Your saving grace my attonements.
You see my dear our love is true,
You for me and I for you.

The sun the moon the stars
The shades of purple between Venus and Mars
The moments should be ours
Not hagared mental scars

The look of love upon your face
The permanence and grace
The outfits made of lace
Love grown strong as base

The fear of loss and doubt
That we could live without
The hard liquor and the stout
The disapproval shown as pout

I'm thorbing,hard
She's soaking wet
Intertwined arms a scared
Lest we forget

The sweat in sheets
Lovers spent bed
Pleasantly purchase each
Memory in head

It costs,but time
And a little fluid
After I drink my wine
Room is humid

Second day without a drink
Mind is heavy so much to think
Its so hard to abstain
But for my son I could not remain
In a state of perpetual drunk
So I'm dragging my sorry *** out this funk
I could really use the comfort of my partner
But she is dry without choice and finds it much harder
So I'll sit and I'll shake
I'll cry and I'll brake

But I won't give up,not this time.

**** it ima start smoking **** again
Longing for that perfect state of zen
I need not know where I am or where I been
I like viewing life like a ******* dream

I need to calm my ******* ****
I been tearing my my mind into ******* bits
Mindview isn't well where it sits
I'm having ******* daily fits

As much as I wanna be left the **** alone
I know that I have grown
And love I should have shown
But I can be calm without the stonned

My mind is like a battle field
Who can tell what is trauma and what is real
What's the ******* deal?
I cant even enjoy a ******* meal

All I ever do is drink and sniff drugs
As if its a fine replacement for caring hugs
Run in with groups of thugs
It could be so much better with a couple nugs

Blaze some of the good stuff
Feel rough,tough and have a couple puff
To knowing its more than enough
Move on but hold on to love

My little teddy
Thrashing around
As toddlers do
for a moment forget
That I've also been through
The terrible two
I hold him close
As he thrashes around
To calm him
And his loud sound
Though he screams as if
He doesn't want me to hold him
But then he'd rather hug
Just like I told him
I couldn't shout
At that boy of mine
Because I need to make sure
He will be just fine
It happens so much
Day to day
But I love my boy
I though I would say

Slits right arm clean open
Wipes left hand in flood of claret
Slaps hand on paper
"Here's a ******* poem,
This is art don't you know?!,
****"
What a ******* masterpeice

I sit and pluck hairs from my beard.
One by one thinning it out.
Replaying old memories in my head.
Dragging myself further to the point  where no matter how drunk I get the sadness is still there.
Hating myself more than I ever have before.
Questioning why I am still breathing when id be better off dead.
Maybe I want to hurt more than I want to die.
I deserve to suffer.
Its hard to be a monster that isn't heartless.
Watching myself hurt those i care about.
What the **** is wrong with me?!
Every single time I encounter happiness I break it.
Like a idiot,a comitmentphobe.
Destroying what could be beautiful silences by having existential breakdowns.
Having to talk through every issue when it could just be a non issue.
I know the past is the past so why don't I leave this behavior there instead of carrying it into every new moment.
There is a reason you don't keep polarbears as pets so why do I hold on to the fool in my head.
God I ******* hate myself.

When I bury my heart,
I'll bury it with a mountain of gold,
In the hopes you would dig it up.

What use is there in having more than I can spend,
When I haven't got the one I want to spend it on?

I have achieved everything I could dream of in my career and I have made it my life,
At the cost of my wife,my child,my friends.

When digging holes becomes too much,
Then I'll drink everything I earn,trying to drown out this nagging feeling that I've lost everything,
Buying the cheap way out,the fast way out.

I would sell all but one of my days on earth just to spend that one with you,
But that's not what you want,I'm not what you want.

I'm so tired of not sleeping,of not eating,
Of creating this beautiful art day in and day out,
Changing people's lives covering scars,
Helping them feel good in their bodies,
But never sharing my accomplishments with you has made me numb to the happiness I bring.

When I said forever,
I meant it,
With every fiber of my being I meant it,
I just didn't realise that 'forever' would be me waiting for you until I drown in the poison from a bottle or by the memories left behind.

I can feel it
Inside my chest
Hard pressed
I detest this feeling
Its like a vest
Wrapped around my being
What I'm seeing
I am fleeing
Ain't no freeing
It hurts
Like seeing a loved one in pain
I'm insane
But this want to damage
I can't contain
Its in my brain
Each slice of reality
Cuts worst than the last
Its in the past
But it happened so fast
From going,incredible
To incredulous
What about us?
The question I ask
Its not a task
All the memories bottled up
Like a flask
What if its real?
What if its true?
What's the point?
When I'm disposable to you?

Heavy breathing, intertwined
So I press gently,try to be kind
Because baby you are so refined
As we roll as twist and wined

For in that moment we have shinned
And to all else we are blind
Another like you I will not find
The only one I have in mind

Just to you I will bind
The perfect partner to bump and grind
Not one regret when I look in hind
So much love when we are combined

Don't go across the street
But go down it
When you rip the meat
You can't clown it

All I want
Is what's for the best
Got nowt to flwant
It just a test

I'm out this life
I'm out for gawd
Thank creator for my wife
And my dawgs

Each
And everyone of is my mans
But I won't won't hang around
Unless you show a ****

** goodbye

This is how you start
A black and twisted heart
Completely torn apart
Great for making works of art

Parental unit requests that I vocalise what I have a black eye for.

"I walked into a door"

Parental unit then requests where the red scratches with dried claret appeared.

"Cats claws" as if the last lot hadn't just cleared.

Parental unit knows something's going on and pressed for information.

I can't bring myself to tell her of the true situation.

I'm a terrible person and a terrible son,
I broke the rule and lied to my mum.

Totally lost it,
"Couldn't give a ****!"
Outright spaz and fit,
Emotions thrown into The Pit.

Beg for the reply,
"Just tell me why?"
Questions stream from I,
****!,I want to die.

I think I jumped the gun,
"What have I done?"
"Maybe I should run?!"
I'm in some real **** now son.

Its not that I'm intent on killing myself
Its just everything I love is bad for my health
Like the potions you can buy from the shelf
Party to death with precision and stealth

I like to hold your wisdom in each crux of a verse
And every day without you it seems to get worse
I couldn't stay strong from the moment of hearse
Knowing that your gone is more than just a curse

Knowing that it'll take until final breath
Because I can only be with you once I reach death
But it's not like I can just smoke some ****
And meet our final friend Seth

See you said,life is for living
You taught me that,so I'll keep forgiving
& I do what I can to stop reliving
The moment you left my world spinning

I miss you dad wherever you are
I know you're there,regardless how far
As in golf,always on par
So I'll raise this one to you,its your personal jar

My dearest sally
You scruffy ******* of fluff
Your departure will be met sadly
Know the descion was really tough
But when we see you fit
And bleed from your ears
We have to do what right
Despite the tears
Nearly twenty years
As a best friend
You were an amazing cat
Let's not pretend
I'll miss the way you would wake me
And lick my face
The way you'd purr oh so loud
And strut about and own the place
I will really miss your face
I hope your transition will be met with grace
The love you gave
For nothing In return
To going to your grave
Where you shall return
You have no idea
How much you will be missed
We will mourn for this loss
I'll carry your collar around my wrist

I walked many miles
Through fields,in sun
Taking it slowly
I never run

I stopped to appreciate
The beauty around
Miles of fields and trees
Nothing could abound

No civilization
Wild and free
It may not be for all
But it suits me

Falling or elating
For someone else
All the time you'll spend waiting
For a reply bad for self

I want a deep conversation
And to know they're there
What is liberation?
If you can't know there's care?

They can say that they want you
As all others do
But the feeling will haunt you
Pain you'll drag yourself through

Its a lonely life
To be so deep in love
No more than strife
For the person thinking of

Yeah you can buy them flowers
Or maybe buy a ring
But if they have walls as tall as towers
It doesn't mean a thing

You'll pace and wander
In a restless state
While growing fonder
Still you have to wait

All you'll ever want
Is just to talk to them
The time they take will taunt
Like digging up a gem

Just to get a payout
Of some emotional worth
How much longer can you stay out?
Before you decide to leave this earth

The scars that pull me apart
Are secondary to the stitches that hold
Together my beating heart.
Do not let them define myself
I repeat it,like a mantra
A reminder to my true self

I was graced with life
But always longed for death
I strove a strained for strife
Waiting with baited breath

I had the world in the palm of my hand
All I could ever want
But it slips through like grains of sand
Because my darkness loves to flaunt

I give my all with honest intent
Knowing its never easy
The pain is always inward meant
And I'll **** myself if need be

For all that I have done
And all I'll ever do
Know that I'm the self destructive man
And I never meant to hurt you

I am not a boy
Nor am I a man
I am a sullen creep
From my problems I have ran

I smell the scent of trouble
And war drums it does sound
Let raise it all to rubble
In for a penny in for a pound

I think its time to let the creep out
Into the night I shall run
Finding mischief,no doubt
Who's coming?let's have some fun

Each stitch pulled is when I can drift back to my love,lady death.caress her face and promise her I won't be long
The eyelets open once more from a deep slumber
Hoping that their tears will make it all numb
Two hearts once sewn rip as they pull away
And the pain is quite intolerable
I may not ever leave this dark place again
Don't leave me here alone to die with no way of ever exiting
Short of taking the key to the eyes of my arm and going deeper
Finding that one good spot until no more claret comes forth
But instead light spill out from my being
Warmth fills my mind
I'm going where I belong

When it comes to feeling though
I'd rather be left the **** alone
Memories I have,I can't atone
Knowing love,I should have shown
And the chance,I had blown
Since then,I should have grown
Being honest,I should have known
It's ******* lonely,on the **** king throne

One day three months

She still gives me goosebumps

To look at her my heart thumps

My friend grows when blood pumps

I lose my words and my mind skips

Hands caress her perfect hips

I love to press  my own to her lips

I even love her snail trail drips