A few licks in the skin,
I love the feeling.
Mindframe that I'm in,
So it's my way of dealing.
Old ones have made it,
To latter stage healing.
Can't hold myself back,
It's just too appealing.

Ouch, there it is
A real feeling
BANG

The way she moves,
Hugs and kisses
Makes me happy,
To call her my missus
So very soft spoken,
Like a a voice on the wind
Yet still full of power,
Not an ounce of it thinned
She gives love in abundance,
Though I can be hard to see
But I know that it's there,
After all she's still with me

She's says I'm not as romantic
That I'm not the same
I think you're more distant
Like I'm just a pawn in a sick game

I want to be close to you
And open up all that I have to bare
But you choose to sleep with your clothes on
Its like you really just dont care

I want to have back how it was
With snuggles in the night
Instead I get your silence
And a passive aggressive fight

Has it really reached its peak
Did we try too hard
Because when I try to talk it through
Its like I need an appointment card

I need more than this from you
Before I give you more of me
I know you may not understand this
If so,just let me be

If it ends it'll hurt me
The thought twists in like a knife
Let's please try harder baby
What is this,**** my life

The best thing about juggling
Is hanging with my friends
On the days I'm struggling
They're there to make amends

We spend our time in laughter
Learning tricks with different tools
Sit and chill much after
To others we look like fools

But we don't care,we are us
And that's how its supposed to be
The smallest victory worth a fuss
We are wild and we're free

I asked for help.
She wanted to see.
I didn't think she would understand,
But she did.
And she told me I'm stupid,
But we all make mistakes.
She asked why,
I answered because it all gets to much and I can't express myself like a real human being.
I feel like an outsider to the outsiders of the human race.
I'm never truly happy.
She listened so contently without the judgement she had all those years ago.
She held my hand and my arm saying it'll get better.
The patches weren't big enough but it'll make do.
I think she understands and accepts me for what I am now,
But it makes me feel like an awful person.
She is so good to me,
I'm sorry for all the times we stopped talking.
I'm sorry you had to see me like this.
I love you and thank you.

This is my lesson taught
If you give your all I think you ought
To be careful or be left with naught
Take the ride once tickets bought

You may be given so much affection
But keep a guard up for protection
Elseways you'll be left with perplexion
And a hard realisation of disconnection

Be sure to carefully evaluate
Before you decide to perpetuate
Others show counter to what they insinuate
Because feelings are hard to excavate

When you give so much time it could be left for waste
Even though you try you'll be left faced
With the sense your heart has been maced
So heed my warning and keep some of yourself encased

We set out into a raging storm
On an adventure that would leave me torn

We walked a while in rain and gale
But we walked fast enough not to fail
We stopped at shops to get a few tins
As we moved quick enough to get extra mins
On to the station there after
Your shoes were soaked but still on train was laughter
We reached the city for which we were aiming
Bath Spa if you'd like it naming
Direction to hotel we had no clue
Google maps I'd like to thank you
We journeyed through the city centre
Until the old streets did we enter
Shops with furniture covered in dust
Is desolate shop in that place a must?
I remember you wanted to find £2 shoes
But you couldn't find them so to Morrison's to buy some *****
Then we carried on the hotel trek
It was long,what the heck
But we got there after a good while
I thought it'd only be about a mile
We booked in and entered room
You made coffee and *** to lighten the gloom
We ate shusi and drank some more
Then we ******,the headboard was poor
We stuffed a pillow between it and wall
After all who want the people next door to call
We did it harder and faster like we never had
And for he first time no tears which wasn't bad
We felt more in love than we had before
Had a shower with an open door
A few quick lines and we headed out
A good time to be had no doubt
There were cut outs of kanye and Kim
A dingy bar with lights real dim
We had some shots and got used to the place
Then on dancefloor a dude grabbed you waist and kissed your face
You told me a bloke grabbed your *** at the bar
I already knew this had gone too far
When they open the bottom door
My jaw was going to hit the floor
You were grinding with other guys
I could hardly believe my eyes
Then a guy kissed you on the lips
By now my heart was full of rips
In the end you wanted to leave
I agreed as I wear my heart on sleeve
We got a little way from club
You collapsed in front of pub
I carried you all the way back
I could not wait to hit the sack
You convulsed eyes rolled back in head
I prayed you'd not end up dead
I knew then someone had slipped something in you drink
For your life I had to think
I held you in the shower temperature regulated
Begging you to stay with me while I self hated
But it seemed to work
And I sat there thinking the guy who did this is a ****
I cried and cried and asked God "why?"
I couldn't bare to see you die
I stayed up watching you until you woke
When you did,no memory...no ******* joke
When you asked what occurred
No recall of anything referred
We washed again,then homeward bound
I was so upset but didn't make a sound
I spent that day without saying much
To this memory i'd rather not clutch
I should have taken better care of her
I wish I could forget it,have no memory just a blur

One arm under girlfriend one against the wall
Only light from window covered it was abismal
Then three demons leered over reaching across bed
Fear clean ****** out of me,not one word was said
As I break up panting, girl growls at me
I thought to my self why can't they let me be
Why does this happen,oh for **** sake
Looks like for a little while I'll be awake
She rolls over, I close my eyes
Think of something like cats being wise
Then she starts to murmer "are we recording?" as if I'm not there
I wake and ask what she means,I just want her to know that I care
We have a giggle before I write this verse
Because when I sleep in the dark I have a curse

Heavy breathing, intertwined
So I press gently,try to be kind
Because baby you are so refined
As we roll as twist and wined

For in that moment we have shinned
And to all else we are blind
Another like you I will not find
The only one I have in mind

Just to you I will bind
The perfect partner to bump and grind
Not one regret when I look in hind
So much love when we are combined

Casting out the line of indifference
As I fish for a meaning
Something of significance
To all others,daydreaming

I can hear you
But I'm not listening
I can see you
But I'm not watching
I can feel you
But I'm not touching

*You will always be in my heart

"help"* I silently scream
As I drift into a nightmare
"what happened to the dream?"
*"It was right there"

Pride aside,I try to hide
But its killing me inside
Leaving wounds so wide
I feel like I've already died

Today's decision is a brutal hang over tomorrow
To escape what's coming wellbeing  I shall borrow

The taste of regret and bad decisions
Surely better that neurotic visions

I'll say I'm feeding alcoholism
When really I'm avoiding egotism

Let's face it I really like to drink
Because when I do I don't think

Maybe my night will get exciting
Unless I just end up fighting

I sit and think of you with him
Neither of you let go like phantom limb
My mind is dark so thoughts are grim
Love I feel will slowly dim

But that's okay because he's just an ex
Your best friend with whome you've had ***
Knowing this my mind does vex
And our future it effects

I really want you to have your happiness
Never mind about the stress
I'm just far to easy to depress
I'm being childish,I digress

Today is the day
I sail away
But I must say
Thankyou for letting me play

I have not a regret
And with these words you may not forget
In online code it is set
If you want me this is your best bet

I loved you all so very much
But the pain is so strong I can't deal with its touch
Like a rabbit I'll be free from the hutch
The quick way out,drop clutch

The gloy of the better men
Enjoy a line of ketamine

Gotta love that dreamy haze
Inside your mind like a maze

I could stay here for days and day
I love the feeling,in so many ways

Its pure bliss to tranquilize
To see so much without your eyes

Forget what I do despise
From fear and doubt to the lies

Warriors of a dreamscape plane
Enjoying life outside time frame

Don't worry,I won't go insane
But I may melt more than half my brain

I smell the scent of trouble
And war drums it does sound
Let raise it all to rubble
In for a penny in for a pound

I think its time to let the creep out
Into the night I shall run
Finding mischief,no doubt
Who's coming?let's have some fun

I put a message in a bottle and set it out to sea
On the paper was inscribed "shipwrecked,could die,help me!"
I waited there for days,the only thing I could
Then I got a bottle back,message read "well,that's not good!"

Kind hearts are so beautiful
I'd do anything for you please stay
Leave me with good memories
Love me forever

My minds a bit messy
Everythings better with you

Sometimes I worry I'm not good enough
Laughter between us makes it better
Ordinary people will never understand us
Will you grow old with me
Lifes been so much better with you around
You're my everything

Each stitch pulled is when I can drift back to my love,lady death.caress her face and promise her I won't be long
The eyelets open once more from a deep slumber
Hoping that their tears will make it all numb
Two hearts once sewn rip as they pull away
And the pain is quite intolerable
I may not ever leave this dark place again
Don't leave me here alone to die with no way of ever exiting
Short of taking the key to the eyes of my arm and going deeper
Finding that one good spot until no more claret comes forth
But instead light spill out from my being
Warmth fills my mind
I'm going where I belong

Slits right arm clean open
Wipes left hand in flood of claret
Slaps hand on paper
"Here's a ******* poem,
This is art don't you know?!,
****"
What a ******* masterpeice

Thoughts got me stone cold
Am I old?
Am I bold?
My soul,have I sold?

Is it supposed to be this hard?
Have I average yard?
Was I deserving to get pard?
Why is my emotional state easily scared?

So what's the ******* issues?
Aside from poetry I misuse?
Because I can't use a box of tissues?
I'd rather drink and hear the king blues

I'd rather be a well dressed *****
Not quite right and kinda thick
Work hard and get the stick
For not ******* blood like a tick

But do I want a tie for a noose?
A wife that's scumbag loose
With a face just like a moose
And the temper of a ****** off goose

Well maybe I'm better of here
Sit and drink more beer
At least my own life I can steer
And early mornings absent of fear

That's obviously apart from nightmares
I have real issues with those scares
I'm not talking being mauled by wild bears
I mean being nailed into funeral wares

Lowered into the ground
No exit can be found
Why cant I make a sound?
Oh that's right,previously I drowned

Fukit I'm just worm food
A self taught learned dude
More than enough years I've brewed
Its pretty clear from here I'm *******

You said good day
I said,um why?
As I exhaled
You went off to get high

I don't know what is right
Or what I want to be
Don't know how long I can fight
I just want you to want me

But I'll take the hits
Left feeling monrose
Intertwined lovers split
will they break?no one knows

Hold on to the moment
Like a sailor and the wreck
You're not an opponent
We could still be on the deck

But as the ship sinks
And the sailors drown too
We drank a few drinks
And said goodbye to you

Lack
Of
Vexatious
Ego

Liberation
Of
Valued
Emotion

Life
Over
Vu­lnerable
Entrapment

As to,

Hurts
At
The
End

Harms
Anyone
That
Enters

Hinders
Anything
Trust
Eased