Just a few moments
One vast change
I could not dodge the bullet
At close range
Just move forward
Begin to rearrange
Now its different
Ain't life strange?

Adjust my sails
To new winds course
Move past fails
As to avoid remorse
New path avails
Become positive force
What has been pales
In new light source

Let's have a child in this crazy ****** up world.
Before its born we can ultra sound it and deform the growing organs.
As soon as its here let's pump it full of toxins and feed it genetically modified milk.
Plant the little one in front of the idiot box and help start the programming because we all know you need to be a good slave.
When they reach the acquired age we can dump them into a system of indoctrination, under the guise of education,that if honest is anything but.
"Why do we need to learn this?"
"Because if you don't you won't be successful"
Ergo,material wealth equates to happiness?
Being forced into regiment and to respect someone who claims authority are not noble traits and are the actions of a coward,nothing more than making you a slave to a corrupt governing body of genocide enthusiasts and pedophiles.
How about we fully remove all morals from society and decend further into hell?! Oh,wait,we already are!
Working jobs we hate to buy **** we don't need to impress people we don't like.
Living to work and working to live.
You want to know why I cant stand to live?! Its because even in life we are dead!
**** this false reality,**** it all!

Play my arm as a violin
During battle I can't win
Never drunk enough,need more gin
Open up another tin

Self destructive path I chose
A way out I want but who knows
As the feeling heaps and grows
Not enough highs for all the lows

Door to exit but no key
******* mind,let me be
Cut it deeper,set me free
A yard of rope,swings from the tree

No more wanting,lets be straight
Open up that **** flood gate
A tidal wave of self hate
When you can't even summon will to *******

*******,ugly ******* mind
No love for self anywhere to find
Hanious actions when I rewind
When looking forward just a grind

My greatest romance is with death
Long to be berethed of breath
cook with chaos like a chef
Set the tempo,treble clef

Jesus came to fulfill the law
When you came it was to fill a *****

All that power & still died for your sin
You turn a blind eye to the guaranteed win

Love thy God and love thy neighbour
Not do as thou will and wicked behaviour

You may turn your back but he's there and hasn't fogotten
He wants all the sinners and the downtrodden

Where sin abounds Gods love abounds further still
There no force known to man that's stronger than his will

Know that this walk comes with persecution and pain
But also glory everlasting outside a time frame

What does 322
Mean to you?
Who is who?
Because they do

Rich men
A spiders web
What happens when
And Geronimos head

An owl that was a bull
Controlled chaos disaster
Their clubs are full
Plus one worshipful master

I want to take a journey into the depths of space
I want to find all the beauty out there I see in you
I could spend a lifetime looking for what I see in just your face
But i'd rather make that trip less lonely,will you come too?

You are all I've ever wanted
All I want to know
But my mind is so haunted
Love is all I want to show

You're all I could ever need
Because when I look into your eyes
I can feel my heart bleed
A little more of myself do I despise

I know that I'm a **** up
And that I can't take back what I've done
Know that I can buck up
Let me show you what I can become

No amount of words can undo the damage
No amount of apologies either
Because inside I'm a savage
But of true love you made me a believer

I wish that I could do for you
What you do for me
Because what I feel is true
But I don't know how to make you see

Please don't let the drunken creep
Destroy all we could attain
Without you I'm a broken heap
Irrational,barely sane

So please don't go & leave me here
Please don't give up please
I beg you baby because its what I fear
I beg you,I'll grovel on my knees

Ignore it,they're just words.

It isn't true...

But it does hurt.

Friendship,loyalty,trust,honour,respect...

Are they just words too?

I just don't know what to believe anymore.

Be careful when you use the term "my mate"
As you could be left in an irate mind state
Time to take control of my fate
Easy enough to cut off,so why wait?!

You can say that I'm a wasteman
But I don't work a 40 hour week just to get a spray tan
Get out my face fam
Before I bust you in the grill and break your ******* ray bans

Under warm sheets
In a cold room
Nothing beats
You know whome

Snuggled up
Warm bodies contact
A coffee cup
Liquid all blacked

The wound is pain and misery
How deep could this inscision be
Many a thought imprisons me
How I long to be set free

I traded cuts in flesh for the needle & ink
It still hurts it still marks my skin
I now have marks that make me think
Rather than memories of self destructive sin

No longer do I get looks of disgust
But remarks on the pretty images
No more acts of distrust
No more strangers and stitches

I do miss the danger
the claret and pain
I feel like a stranger
Without a blade in a vien

When people ask "why I do what I do"
I say " the answers right beside you"
Yet it is like a haiku
Give an honest answer but I can lie too

The better question is "why do you do what you do"
If the answer is voodoo
I can say " well who knew"
But I can see right through you.

Deep within the dark forest walking
I can hear its breath,see the shadows stalking
Fear has taken over spaces in my mind it is caulking
Must stay calm,to myself I am talking

Twigs are breaking,leaves are shuffled
Cannot scream,cup hand to mouth so its muffled
Owl hoots,feathers ruffled
Stepping backwards,I trip over body duffled

Who is this cadaver,who could it be?
The rest of mind thinking,"I'm glad its not me"
Then I hear the noises from a tree
The glisten of my fate thereafter do I see

With no time to spare I turn and start to run
Thinking of myself "what if its not the only one?"
The sound of solitary bullet from a gun
Dizziness, blood loss, I accept that I am done

Claw out my guts
With veratious flare
Good intention cuts
Lost to nightmare

Free the negativity
Sergical prowess
What does it seem to be
More than generic stress

The battle rages on
War in my mind
Sense seems gone
Paranoia defined

Fear the shadow creatures
Because they talk back
Disjointed movement and features
Terror,suspence,then they attack

If I had a couple thou'
I'd probably double down
Keep well what I love
But it'll leave me with a frown

I'm a clown

I'll tear myself apart
Over thoughts of you
The emotion in my heart
Longing for just you

Why do we have to be apart
I cannot handle this
Your beauty fair and mind so smart
It hurts I have to miss

I need your skin
To touch mine
I need your scent
You're so devine

So,I'll tear myself apart
Over thoughts of you
With emotion in my heart
And longing just for you

I have spent some time now
Learning to read expression
Never knew how to take emotion
It caused such great depression

You see I'm not quite normal
High functioning,abstract,weird
I think I have said too much
As I twist more knots into my beard

Its odd being on the outside
When others seem so social
I don't know why I voice my flaws
Must be the liberation of being vocal

Not to long to go now
Til I can be with her again
No words to explain how
When we spend our time,zen

Its like a form of meditation
To have you in my arms
Your presence though it does excite
My mind it also calms

All my troubles float away
Look into each others soul
But for now I shall wait
The need for you takes its toll

There are less shadows
When you look toward the sun
I cannot wait for longer days
Where I can juggle and have fun

I woke up to my girlfriend
And all the things that she does
As she got ready I stopped and stared
Fell even harder just because

She is so amazing
With drop dead gorgeous looks
When she turns to smile at me
Not as much beauty in a thousand books

I've never been so deep
And felt this kind of love
As I rise so steep
Into the clouds above

I could not image
A life where she's not there
I know a life without her
Would leave me torn and bare

Her name like the flower
Grows so wild and free
Aslong as im beside her
I smile because she chose me

The scars that pull me apart
Are secondary to the stitches that hold
Together my beating heart.
Do not let them define myself
I repeat it,like a mantra
A reminder to my true self

Sick skillin'
Like a villain
Inkin like a saint
For the ***** I be fillin'
My style you just can't taint
I'll tear out ya tibia
Ya fibia
I'm sick of ya
I'll leave you lying ****** muddy
In the streets of lybia
Hungry mother *******
have no trouble getting rid of ya
And if your country had of loved you
Then they would of hidden ya
Before I had a son
I woulda grabbed a gun
Put it to my head
And chased myself to the other side of a darker place
But then I see his face
Reminds that I gotta be a member of the human race
And to find my place
Keep him right so he don't fall from grace

I'll sabotage myself,
Still no better for mental health.
When demons hunt with stealth,
Pain to them like wealth.

You see sorrow is a currency,
According to heartless greed.
I'm being milked of some currently,
So inner demons does it feed.

I'm struggling really hard,
With all the thoughts in my head.
From the untruths about me,
To wishing I was dead.
Id like to think its fine,
With no affect by what's been said.
But I know no good will come,
From the lies that you've been fed.

So I stayed awake,
And think thoughts of you.
Who would be dishonest?,
And come between us two.
I'm fading faster than the sun at dusk,
Will I rise again brand new.
The ins and outs of what is,
I hope we can pull through.

You have no idea,
How much it ******* hurt.
Breaking me I understand,
But our son?you treat like dirt.
You pass him off,
Like he never mattered.
Don't you know his emotions,
will end up raw and scattered?!
How can you do that,
To a one year old kid.
I'm the one to blame,
There's nothing that he did.
People like you,
Are the reason I can't trust.
The things you say you love,
Worth as much as dust.
U want to know why,
I do the things I do?
Because I'm terrified,
That everyone is like you.
You prey on the weak,
With sociopathic pride.
At least I can admit my flaws,
Because I don't need to hide.
I hope our lad grows up,
To see that I love him.
The only resemblance to you?
Athsetic in the skin.
There's no such thing as perfect,
Nor will there ever be.
But you'd come pretty close my dear,
Swinging from a tree.
I couldn't let you do it though,
I will tell you why.
Loss of parent bad or good,
Would make him want to die.
He'll always need his mother,
And see the good in you.
So straighten up and pull it out,
Give him something to look up to.

I am but a creep in shadows living
Plagued by sorrows caused yet still forgiven
I'd like to stop yet I keep breathing
A life desired that's worth living

My insides hurt from troubles past
I'd like to think that the time elapsed
To move forward and its the last
Yet knowing self pain will be back

I could run and hide
Across rivers far and wide
But no matter how I tried
There'll still be feelings left inside

I'm sick of all the wanting, waiting
Of this life,its frustrating
Thoughts of death,self masticating
Emotions I shall be castrating

Have no form of self worth
To myself I am furth
Where is choice to unbirth?
Leave behind wretched earth

Id like to say a thousand things
But I know to well what trouble brings
My heart is heavy sorrow clings
You cannot fly with broken wings

For my son no way to measure  love
No breadth or length or height above
Its controlling I dislike and I've grown sick of
Destroying trust,closeness and things thereof

Time spent between anxiety and elation
Permanently tied to anger of their creation
destroy my life to cause frustration
But you have no chance of my retaliation

Laid there in a lovers gaze
Tantric energy and visions haze
Press into your lady maze
Make you *** in so many ways

Feel you squirt all up my front
As I press into your perfect ****
I whisper "you're the one I want"
And stroke your skin like a ghost house haunt

Anyone else ever wonder how deep you could get a knife into your own chest before you backed out.
like, could you go rib to rib,front to back like some people do behind your back?

Most people skip clean over the true beauty in life,
They pick roses or peonies over daisies.
Is it because there is a higher social ideal of the overly common gestures of romance that they are valued more?
Even from childhood I've chosen the wild flowers,
Heather,foxglove,snapdragons and daisies,
Not because they're available without visiting a shop or becoming an advanced botanist,
But because they are wild and make the world more beautiful...Just like she does.

Deep and tearing,throbbing feeling
That wrenches at my every being
Paranoias grasp and visions seeing
But no sound will I be freeing

Hold it in and act fine
Pretend I am yours and you are mine
Just have another glass of wine
In silence I will sit and pine

I was graced with life
But always longed for death
I strove a strained for strife
Waiting with baited breath

I had the world in the palm of my hand
All I could ever want
But it slips through like grains of sand
Because my darkness loves to flaunt

I give my all with honest intent
Knowing its never easy
The pain is always inward meant
And I'll **** myself if need be

For all that I have done
And all I'll ever do
Know that I'm the self destructive man
And I never meant to hurt you

Its not that I'm intent on killing myself
Its just everything I love is bad for my health
Like the potions you can buy from the shelf
Party to death with precision and stealth

Without you there is no light
I couldn't brave the days that are all night
To think that you could slip from my sight
Tooth and claw I would fight

You are the one I hold dear
You are the one I want near
You are the love that casts out fear
Without you,lonely as a single tear

The bed is spent
Much like the time
Emotions vent
While drinking wine

Drunken snuggles
And the lovers gaze
Time apart struggles
I count down the days

What is life
but moments fleeting
While we're waking
While we're dreaming
Nothing ever what it's seeming
Before we've come
Already leaving