Numb
That is all i can feel.
Numb
Nothing seems real.
Numb
I can't pretend that it's fine
You've worn me to the ground.
Every feeling i once felt
is not pounded.
So my heart is left bare
No feelings live there.
I feel the beat of once happy blood
flow through my veins.
It's blue. oxygen is dried.
Used by all the painful tears i have cried.

Your name is the loveliest word
I've ever said. In my life
I've never known someone like you.
Your aura is a quilt
that I could spend all day in
if you'd let me.
I think the chances of me meeting
another you are absurd
and I find the whole idea
to be terrifying.
I could make so much room
for you in my heart.

I don't get why your ****** eyes can't see
I don't get why your short frame can't grasp
I don't get why your semi-average mind can't understand
I don't get why it can't seep in your dark skin and chubby belly that

I  l o v e  y o u

because you care for your friends with utmost loyalty, sincerity
because your eyes shine with fire for the things and the ones you love
because you never run out of wild stories and theories
because your laugh is more than enough to make me laugh along
because your crazy ways take me in an adventure, not chaos definitely
because you would rather be odd in this apathetic world for the sake of chivalry
because you give me more innumerable insane reasons
but actually, simply
because you

You may see yourself as someone unlovable, detestable
but please get rid of that nonsense
because I am here
and very soon,
distance and time would get in the way but
I will always be here and

**I  l o v e  y o u

i am a mess of the mistakes
others have made;
thoughts of you
and what you did to me
cause me to grind my teeth.
i thought you were an angel
and yes, i mean that metaphorically
but i mean it literally, too.
i was drowning in depression
and you came along to save me
and honestly,
i really thought you'd stay.
but no,
you are the devil's replica
and oh my god you know how to lie
and tempt
and burn.
you found me in a place no map could portray;
dancing with my own darkness
as if the shadows were somehow a comfort
for my delicate little heart to love.
why did you take me away from the dark
just to throw me in to it further?
i wish you'd disappear, somewhere miles away.
i wish you'd go somewhere as cold, empty and isolated as yourself.
i gave you everything
and you left me with nothing,
causing me to start a war with my skin.
do you know how much it hurts
to have to search for countless reasons
as to why you're not good enough?
do you know how much it hurts
to know you're not enough for someone
who is more than enough for you?
i do not love the person
who walked away from me that day
i am in love with the person
i thought you were.
do you know how much that hurts?
i am in love with someone who doesn't even exist!
i've spent weeks wishing you'd come back
but now,
i do not want you back.
you were only in love with the concept of me
and the thought of that makes me sick
to my stomach.
i hope that it
was worth losing me for.
it's clear her skin served you
better than mine ever did.
it's clear her body was more of a masterpiece
than mine ever was.

I will never be
The girl I was before.
My demons changed me
Now I'm insecure
I suffer by writing
what I want on my arm.
It starts with a "p";
That word is P E R F E C T
Society's slang word for self harm.

(k.l)

you left.
and apparently that left me with more problems than I'd like to admit.
you left.
and my walls are so high that sometimes I don't even know what is happening in my own mind.
you left.
and now I'm terrified. I'm scared. but mostly, I'm sccared.
you left.
and I can't let anyone in. I can't believe anyone would even waste their time having a conversation with me.
you left.
and now everything anyone tells me is a lie.
you left.
and I don't think I will ever be able to fully trust another male again.
you left.
and I wish you didn't take my trust with you. because there are some people that deserve my trust so much more than you do.
you left.
and now I believe everyone else will, too.

I know I've been your worst nightmare,
i know you had given up on me.
I know I've made you angry,
I know I've even made you cry.
I am sorry for all those times you've thought of yourself as a bad parent,
coz i know how lucky I am to have you and how precious you are to us.
Your soul is sweet and full of kindness that no matter how hard and hurtful I've been to you,
you've always forgiven me.
No matter how harsh life is for you ,
you've walked through it with a smile.
Many a times I've heard you say "I am perfectly fine",
but still I've seen you go to your room,sit on the bed and cry.
I know many of my words have hurt you really bad and some have even left a scar
but still you've always come and hugged me and said 'i love you my dear child".....

I don't even know you.

So why are my feelings so strong?

Why does every breath I take

Whisper your name?

Why do thoughts of you

Encompass my every day?

Will these feelings go away?

I hope so.

I hope not.

I don't even

Know You