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She seemed okay
until she entered her shower
where she crawled up in a
ball and just cried
because it was where
no one would hear
no one would know.

She exits with bloodshot
eyes and her parents just
think she got shampoo
in them, because that's
what she told them.

But those were just lies.
 Nov 2013 Courtney E
Jeff
Dear Vodka
 Nov 2013 Courtney E
Jeff
Dear *****,
These words I regret to send,
Without them I fear my end,
You're always with me in troubled times,
Without you I can’t write these heartfelt rhymes,
You’re 80 proof positive I have a problem,
Though, the more I seek you the less you’ll solve ‘em,
Without you in my life I cry,
With you I know I’ll surely die,
I know I’ll miss your warm embrace,
Please leave my life without a trace,
You've taken so much without return
This position you did not earn,
You entered my world with love lost,
Though your presence here is at a cost,
It’s morning now once again,
Oh how I wish I could abstain,
This whole night long all I think,
Is how I need just one last drink
 Nov 2013 Courtney E
Nothing
SOS
 Nov 2013 Courtney E
Nothing
SOS
I have a friend, I dont know why.
But she looks in the mirror, and starts to cry.
She doesn't see herself as you or i.
So then i ask her,
"Why?"

And so she says,
After a deep breath,
About her past,
That lays at rest.

She's been scarred,
Above the rest.
Because of things
That aren't the best.

How can people be so cruel?
Cruel enough to make her ask herself,
"Why am I still alive?"

As she picks up the blade
please put down the knife
And thinks of all the pain,
And so much strife.
don't end your life

She contemplates just
How much it would hurt,
But it would be the very last time,
Before she's in the dirt.

And she's done it before,
Many a time,
So now it doesn't hurt,
She isn't even crying.

But I am,
As she tells me,
And today I still cry,
To think of what would have happened
If she had died.

And I know that
Everyday
On the bus home,
She clenches the chair,
To keep her in her zone.
As she passes the store,
Where she used to buy knives.

Everyday that she stays,
Is a day she has strength,
Not to get off that bus,
And go to great lengths.

But every time she gets off
Almost ends her life.

She's tried to get better,
Believe me she's tried.
Just nothing is working,
And so she just lies.

She takes all the pills,
Sometimes too many,
She goes to the sessions,
Trust me, there are plenty.

And despite all the
Pain and the darkness and the sad,
She keeps on going,
Even through the bad,
And I know she is strong.

And even though she is with us,
I know that inside,
Every day she is pushing,
Is a day she has died.
To LR
Please stay strong.
His heart is a power plant
Infinitely generating
Love
---Electrifying.
Night and day
It pulses
Its beat
That makes anyone who hears it
Sing
Away all his fears and troubles
And dance
In sweet joy and perfect peace.

My heart is a light bulb,
Merely a piece of glass.
I am cold, empty
I am fragile,
But when I plugged to the source
There was a click,
An explosion rather,
Of light
Raw, untamed
And it set fire to every inch of my being,
Not sparing even a single crevice.
The insecurities and weaknesses
I kept most secret,
All burned away.

Once, no, was always
Frail and futile
But now by the energy that surges in me
I am powerful,
And I love
Even the horrible, detestable
Because He loved me first.

My hollow heart
Gains purpose, meaning:
I live to shine
Bright
For all the world to see,
To emanate a warm, rare glow
That will draw you
Away from the cold darkness and
Not to me
For I am merely a void vessel,
But to the ultimate source
So that your life as well
Will be full of light.
Matthew 5:16

— The End —