I said no more
handed
another cup
i said
home
you said
guestroom
I said taxi
you said
until morning
I passed out
you stayed up
i awoke
different clothes
I felt pain
I said no
you thought yes

I want to scream
Why have you done this to me?
What did i do wrong?

She sits on the streetside
dimly lit lamplights
cold nights and foggy skies
cars pass quickly
sudden others slow
drawn upon her fishnets
offers her a smoke
"looking for a good time?"
she doesn't wanna be here
she needs the cash
her baby
her addiction
never had a mother
she wouldn't want
her child
to be the same
baby with no father
her mother is to blame
opened the door
foot to the floor
nearest motel
get the keys
and Korbel
fifty dollars
fifty shades
of bruises
"wanna fly?"
she shouldn't
but it'll
make the night
go by
needles
hurt
like her heart
her body
said bye
back on
the streets again
same thing each night
then back to her baby
long sleeve shirts
hides her pain
hides her addiction
hides her profession
rent is late again
preschool money due
gotta pay up front
whats more important
beau

Behind the closed door
i wonder what lies
i wonder who lays
i wonder of the cries

i try to touch the handle
i burn my fingertips
ashes
flames
spouting at my toes

"please "
what
"dont"
huh
"save"
.......
"me"

hallways flooded with fire
smoke bursting
as i float
unaware of all the heat
unaware what burns my feet
i just keep walking
watching the view
hearing the screams


coming from you?

We sit
he stares
at the sky
i know he wishes
he could fly
a journal
a pen
a guitar
you and me
we're soaring to the moon
alone
at last

She was looking down
"Hey"
She was afraid to look up
she knew the emerald green of her eyes
would shatter
into the blue
of his
his hand met her chin
lifting her head
he looked into her soul
galaxies combining
dilation
Sapphire in her heart
electric
Forest in his soul
deep

outside the window, there is a sky
it is not blue
it is not bright
it is gray
just like the inside of the room
the table is solemn
the chair is uncomfortable
I wish I was outside
I stare at myself in the mirror
I know they see me
I cannot see them
why am I here
is the window real
it feels like night
how could it possibly be day
I've counted the hours
since I got swept away
the room is gray
my eyes have lost their pretty blue
to this alone
where will the rest of me
eventually
go

Hands grip the bars
Let me in
Please
Let me in
scars on my fingertips
from every time
i gripped
the thorn covered iron
screaming
let me in
I'd always wanted to leave
screaming to life
oh
please let me out
but now that life was gone
how I longed to be back
but now I was here sitting on the sidewalk in the sky
I walked the stairway
so long it took
I was so tired
now that I was here
I realized it was closed
vacant
nobody was here
except
Jimmy Page
we talked about
how he had plans to take his black dog
to California
wearing his Kashmir coat
so he walked
over the hills and far away
I sat dazed and confused
I was just a fool in the rain

Try to break away
I really do try

Addiction

At least it's gone

Now distraction

Leads me to wishing


I had something else


to keep me away

You can throw your words
like punches
you can scream your violence
like an unheard prayer to hell
you can hurt me
despite my problems
yes
I will shatter
I will break
I will cry
I will hurt
I will sit
on the edge
wishing
but on the outside
resilience
remains
my roots
we scream
powerful
native
I am withstanding
I feel the pain you put to my soul
but you will never see me
in a state of
loss
from your
insecurity
I will always smile
I will always love
I will not show you my hurt
you do not win

I think
but sometimes the wrong things
come to mind
I think about dancing and flying in space
when they say
I should think
about
reality
I don't wanna be
here
I wanna be in the sky
soaring
not down on earth
thinking about
money
school
hate
judgemental people
hate
hate
hate
everyone just loves to hate
can i teach
haters to
love to love?

oh tell me
how far have I fallen
I can not see up
only for down
I have no counted every hour I've been falling
I must know
have you watched from the tree above
as down the rabbit hole
i escaped
reality
but I will always be hit in the face
metaphorically
but physical in a sense
when I realize
I cannot be
in wonderland
forever

Slowly backed down
quickly less covered
skin to skin
fingers traced shapes and letters
marks left for weeks
hoping they'd stay forever
softness of your smile
to the feeling of your lips to mine
no love song
only record spinning
self resetting
Psylla
not
paying attention to lyrics
only to your movements
every one of them
next to me
arms around me
hazy smoke lifting
towards the ceiling
windowpanes bringing light
shining upon this beauty
thoughts in my head
staring into blue
the universe in the eyes
beauty like the skies
inthralled
its all my dreams
but reality will show

I pull back the strings
Sound out and it rings
violin
or shooting arrows
through my heart
the rain bow
along the strings

Ripped apart
like the curtains pulled
light to dark
I'm ******* tired
but hate resides
I'm trying to love
I'm trapped
****
help me
I want to be in a prism
I'm really in prison
no bars or suits
only my room

under the influence
walking in the center
monsters on either side
scariest ones lie inside
icy cold but burning
I don't know whats happening to me
I need to go
parallel
yellow lines
no passing
I would be fine
feet slowly placing
heart deathly pacing
this place is abandoned
I don't mean the road
the road is empty
empty means for the moment
abandoned is forever left
empty places get filled
abandoned places like the heart
slowly beating
are only visited
not so often
sadly
only seen to vandalize
only meant for renegades
not empty
abandoned
along the road

where have I been
the question rings
zone for longer
than it seemed
I'm sorry
I was walking
only gazing upon the blooming
of now crushed
in my pocket
flowers
purple
like the skies
promising of storms
but solitary moon
hung on the midnight

Lie in the grass
Up in the clouds
Under the filtered sunlight
Rushing through the creek
Only on the ground
Feeling in the Earth
Feeling so connected
wishing I could sink
into the dirt
and remain
a part of the mother of all
inner souls, intergalactic
you're not alone when you have
the many grains of sand
that remain in your hair
and on your sleeves
waiting for a breeze
blown apart by feeling
called away by thought

The melatonin wasn't enough
she closed her eyes
but they snapped back open
darkness painting pictures
suddenly fluorescent
the ceiling was alive
more so than she was
embracing nothingness
only to find herself
waiting for something
that would never arrive
she awoke
two hours it seemed
but the neon clock beamed
only two minutes
had it been twenty-four
or was she lost in her head
unsure.....
alone in the night

Falling from Space
reflecting upon the bayou
starlight in her eyes
body as the air filters
moving gracefully
yet falling too hard
forwards into the sky
downwards into her dreams
now submerged under the waves of galaxies
far away
but right in front of her

I call apon my mind tonight
to make me dream darkness and fright
a nightmare they say is never very light
but to be a dream is METAL and BITES