I scrapped my soft skin on the gravel and they asked me why I bled so much It's the one thing I do best I'd rather scab over and try to heal but I can't stop the sensation of opening old wounds Every time I pour myself a drink I can't help but think of my father my grandmother and everyone else I cannot will myself to call so I bled out to voice mail messages and try not to hurt anyone else but I just can't help myself I am addicted to pain and holding grudges I forgive those who don't deserve it just so I can go back again and scar myself even more Every time I know I have to hurt someone I remeber every sad face I've ever seen My stomach is nausea I am trying so hard to act like I'm not even phased but my facade is cracking under all of this weight I cannot stop this chain smoking habit because then I'll begin to gnaw at my finger tips and lord knows I can't bare to lose any more blood
I'd like to think of rainy days as a way to wash away everything The reason you got mad at that person this week That situation that jus won't leave your mind Let the rain wash away everything Hit the water and make it's way down memory lane Back in the recesses of your mind where your subconscious lies Clean slate... I'd like to think of rainy days as a way to relax Jus kick back and enjoy Don't let all the water bring down your mood Let it sooth your mental Cuz really it's all conditional Don't let Gods creation keep you down cuz everything He does has a purpose
My parents have been married for 32 years Man that's longer than fermented beers A love that flourished from just one hello A model marriage that I want to one day show People these days have lost this art of love They wanna put themselves above everyone else Not knowing how to compromise See my parents taught me how to have a partnership I'm not the type of woman to put a man down but uplift him cuz that's what my mom showed me And I want a man who will appreciate and cherish me cuz that's want my daddy does for my mom So we need to get back to where love is central 32 years...grandparents married for 70 so I have no choice but to make it work 32 years till forever
Fear rising because I'm about to share my inner most thoughts Sweating because I've never done this before It's about to be my own personal score and the symphony of my vocals hit the stage Reading off the page I think my first poem I performed was "God" Yeah that was it You know at the time I didn't really have a name for myself A in the closet artist tryna barter for some release As I stand backstage amazed at the support I'm getting I think man this is amazing Finally sharing my words But the host asked me what's your stage name I look at him like ***** I'm Jasmyn...the name my mama gave me But then I think oh snap I don't have a stage name A name for people to remember me by So my thoughts fly with nothing As my heart races as the host of the show says my name He screams here comes Ladi J and I was like oh snap there it is Ladi J was born And just like my real name is spelled different J-A-S-M-Y-N I had to make my stage name the same so remember Ladi J was born as... L-A-D-I-J
Nocturnal harmony Played in graceful rhythm Precious were those songs That you played for me, Fairies dear And sometimes at Night They play on their harp And play for you Just for you And me
As I ride along on a beautiful day Windows down Eyes on the road Concentrated on where I am going The situations of the day blow away They even go out the sunroof Even moving to God's ear And somehow my cares aren't there anymore So I love to ride along Windows down Feeling like I have a crown on my head Sending all bad thoughts to bed That sun is beaming down making my forehead red cuz u kno I'm light skinned All my hurts of the day are mended when I ride with the windows down
Determination is part motivation and part support Motivation to do tasks yourself Motivation from your family But what do those people do when they don't have You know the motivation the black panthers had to fight the power The motivation that Martin had to to have a dream The motivation that rosa had not to move The motivation that Harriet had to move slaves to freedom The motivation that slaves had to work all day picking cotton but still sang those ***** spirituals to get them through the day Motivation leading to determination that a race won't be held down by anyone But I wonder where that is today...
As I redirect myself to a ebon place A place where I can balance myself Cuddle in the arms of silence so I can hear what needs to be said to bring me back to my normal equilibrium Muddle each thought as they pass through my brain Put them in a zip drive folder Nice and neat No slumps or goosebumps Smooth surface Cuz we all one day need to find a purpose No more flapping in the wind A contributor to society Making people feel some variety about you Jus like a variety pack of chocolate You amaze them every time they pull something out of the bag Cuz maybe you will drag some confidence within you So sometimes you gotta redirect yourself to a ebon place A place where you can balance yourself Bring your emotion back to equality Quality in your actions We all lose our balance sometimes You it's okay Even the best of them went astray I'll continue to go to my ebon place Even tho it's dark here cuz that means there is room for some light to come in